Mordor....

[Sauron]

Mordor......

There is a land that few speak of,
For there, there is no love.

You're not at home anymore,
You're in the land they call Mordor....

In front of The Mountain of Fire,
The Evil Tower, with it's master called sire.

You're not at home anymore,
You're in the land they call Mordor.....

Under it the world may fall,

The most evil of things is always there,
For the world is not ready, for their terror.

You're not at home anymore,
You're in the land they call Mordor.....

The ground of stone and rock,
Their master can only mock.

You're not at home anymore,
You're in the land they call Mordor....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, this is my first ever Poem, and I'm ready for bad and good reviews:cool:

[Tar-Ancalimë]

first of all, may i ask if i can pick on your grammar? i wont unless you say its ok with you ;)

second, this is great... especially for a first poem!! Your rhythm flows well, and the repitition really brings your point through.

[Sauron]

Thank you, It's feels good to get good reviews. Sure, I need a little critism, go ahead

[Tar-Ancalimë]

weeeell... the biggest, the worst, that would be in your refrain:
Your not at home anymore,
Your in the land they call Mordor....

Your is a possesive adjective; you want a contraction of subject and verb. You're, not your.

[Sauron]

Oh, I thought that way was right, but I went ahead with Your. I would change it if I could, But Thanks!

[Lady Ashley]

Very nice poem, Sauron. My own first poems weren't that great, but your poem is very good.

[Tar-Ancalimë]

lol i just noticed your sig and i love it, Sauron... hmm, want me to change the poem for you?

[Sauron]

Sure, If you can. That line is one of my favorites from TTT, It's was just like Bilbo's "I don't know have of you as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve" Didn't understand it the first time :)

[Nessa the Dancer]

I liked your poem Sauron.
I like the repetition, the way ir flows and the half-rhyme half-way through, (whether it was meant or not) it works and helps to create a sense of unease and that something is not right.

A very goood poem overall.

[Morgoth]

very good,
wanted to reply to this cos its the earllyest unread thread since last time I came here

[Mocha]

I really loved the poem, you did a grrrrreat job dear Sauron!

the repition couldn't be used any better :)

[Black Rider]

that's a great poem, and i love your signature as well!