Personals

[ImDaMom]

What if Middle Earth ran personal ads?????

Example
(S-Single H-Hobbit M-Male F-Female E-Elf Hm- Human K-King)

We are SSSSSingle and looking for
Someone to be my preciousssssss.
We loves caves, and gold jewelry. Hates orcses
With nassty steel
Must enjoy sushi and anything tartare
Respond- Misty Mountains

or

SEM looking for SEF
For really LONG term relationship
Must be as pretty as me
I love surfing and horseback riding
Great with knives and braiding
Must be willing to share future home with Dwarf

[Elbereth]

Single male dwarf looking for single female dwarf - should such a thing exist. Must not be bothered be living with an elf and must not be attracted to said elf. No running. Otherwise will settle for Galadriel lookalike.

[Lintefaniel]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH roflmao roflmao...I think I just wee'd m'self.....oh dear....Must be willing to share future home with Dwarf.....hahahahahahahaha...I'm gonna die!!! ;) lol lol lol lol roflmao...

[squirrel]

SHM seeking SHF who share my interest in throwing big noisy rocks in bad places and don't have something about living in a hole filled with eaten apples after my friend Merry. Also must like mushrooms.I am very good looking with a sword, so my friend Merry tells me and I like carrying hats and staffs.

[ImDaMom]

a couple more


SHM looking for SHF
Object- playing footsie, sharing quiet life.
I promise not to leave home or have any
adventures. Looking for someone I can
Be slavishly devoted to. References may be
provided by former employer, F. Baggins, c/o Undying Lands
S. Gamgee, Shire


Dark Lord looking for little hobbit
Object- world domination
Have wonderful castle with all comforts
Of home- hundreds of servants to do
Your bidding. Help me become whole again.
(You must provide ring- gold preferred)

[Ithielnor]

lol darklord lol very good! I love it.

[Tar-Palantir]

these are great!

[Rumil]

Single Orc Female (told by friends utterly repulsive) seeks Single Orc Male. Turn ons: skin diseases, stench, foulness, murder, torture and maiming. Turn offs: hygene, good looks and consideration.

[Rumil]

Single Hobbit Male seeks SIngle Hobbit Female. Age, looks, interests etc irrelevant. Must be good cook.

[Aranel]

Upwardly mobile SHmM seeks beautiful SHmF for ogling, watching under eyelids and hopefully more...
Have powerful connections. Will travel.

[Orc]

SHM seeks SHF.
Do you like wearing yards and yards of black fabric? Interested in dating royalty? Let me sweep you away on a moonlit ride on my winged dragon to a wonderous dark castle in the senic land of Mordor. Undead prefered. Must be willing to serve dark lord and avoid running water. No elf princesses please!!!

[ImDaMom]

Great one, orc. somehow, one forgets- black riders need love, too

[Rumil]

Originally posted by imdamom55
Great one, orc. somehow, one forgets- black riders need love, too

lol They have a funny way of showing it!! lol

[squirrel]

All the "Kill you stuff" is just a cry of help!! lol

[Tar-Palantir]

Yes, I think we should all go out and search for the Witch-King and hug him! :)

[Rumil]

Originally posted by Tar-Palantir
Yes, I think we should all go out and search for the Witch-King and hug him! :)

lol erm i think i might let you lead the way on that one!

ps sing gal troll likes hitting fings seeks otha troll to hit fings

[Tar-Palantir]

It will be a quite hard search! ;) :) :D

[Aranel]

Single Ring seeks owner to corrupt. Must enjoy being invisible, wielding power and living forever. Short term relationship only, until can be returned to master.

[Elbereth]

Single elf ghost with an aversion to axes seeks single female who doesn't mind if I don't look entirely heterosexual and don't like being hugged. No orcs. Not interested to those who send me on missions outside the plot

[SindarinGirl]

SHmF seeks SHmM.
I am financially stable, no children, willing to relocate.
You must not be intimidated by woman who wields sword better than you, preferably be a King, but will consider Steward.