101 things a LotR character would never say

[BelovedCaptain]

hehehe, world peace...hahaha...Sorry, but I thought of Miss Congeniality at that moment. squinchy
Very cute, Monkey! You're so funny! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

;) Yeah, well I think you're funny too. Hehe, thank you, thank you. notworthy

~In the Rohan Fields~
Aragorn: Man...what's that smell??
Gimli: At first I thought it was you....but now....
Aragorn: Now what??
Legolas: I'm sure he's convinced it's himself.
Gimli: Am NOT!!! But, it does move.
Legolas: And you don't??
Gimli: Well no...but it's getting closer.
Aragorn: Aren't I close enough??
Gimli: Yeah..a little too close.
*Gimli waves his hand infront of his face*
Legolas: Here, have a tooth brush.
Aragorn: What is that for??
Legolas: For brushing your teeth...just like your hair.
Aragorn: Me? Brush my hair??
Gimli: Good point...it's a miracle you took a bath.
*Aragorn glares at Gimli*
Aragorn: How do I use it???
Legolas: Just like this...
*Legolas demonstrates with his own tooth brush*
Aragorn: That looks easy enough.
*Aragorn attempts to brush his teeth*
Gimli: (whispering to Legolas) Jumping in a river, every now and then, looks easy enough too.

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao:
lol Really, Aragorn. What ARE we gonna do with you?? lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

lol I'm glad you like it BC...yeah, no kidding...what are we going to do with him....*sighs* haha

[Frodo's Pearl]

HA! I loved that. I've got another similar. (These are things I think of when I'm getting up the morning. :p)

Merry: Strider, on behalf of us four hobbits, we have a little present to give you.
Strider: A present? Oh, how nice!
Frodo: Here you go. *Hands him something*
Aragorn: What is it?
Pippin: It's a bar of soap!
Strider: It smells...
Sam: ...Nice? Well, funny to you, that is. You've never seen nothing like it for a long time, I bet.
Strider: What am I supposed to do with this?
Merry: You idiot! Don't you know? I bet you don't; you can't possibly imagine what results from this bar of soap!
Strider: I don't get it..
Merry: Allow us to demonstrate for you. Pippin?
Pippin: Sure! (Rolls up sleeves, and starts using soap on himself)
Merry: Observe! See how happy he looks?
Pippin: Aahhh! I feel so nice and fresh and clean! And I smell good!
Merry: You too, Strider, can enjoy this pleasant experience, just with this little bar of soap!
Four Hobbits: (Big grins)
Strider: I still don't get it.

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: That is awesome...we have our own ME infomercials now!!! :lmao:

~In the Swamp~
Pippin: FLIES!!
Merry: MUD!!
Frodo: STICKY!!
Sam: SOMEONE'S IN MY WAY!!!
*pushes Pippin*
Pippin: FALLING!!
Bill: Naaaayyyy!!!
Merry: FLIES!!!
Frodo: This is so cruel!!
Merry: What do they eat...when they can't get hobbit??
Aragorn: Rotting plants, now hurry up.
Sam: Easy for him to say...he's got long legs.
Bill: Neeeeaaaaayyy.

[Nibinaraniel]

LOL LOL! lol

there are too many things I'd say, but they are inappropriate or already said!

[BelovedCaptain]

That was awesome, Fwo! :lmao:
And I loved yours too, Monkey. FALLING!! haha...roflmao

[Frodo's Pearl]

Thank yous!
Flies! lol lol That was so funny!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Awe thanks. haha

~In Helm's Deep~
Gimli: Excuse me, coming through...EXCUSE ME!!!
*everyone turns to him*
Gimli: Well don't just stand there...MOVE!!
*people scatter*
Legolas: You know...there's a better way to get their attention.
Gimli: Oh yeah?? And what is that??
Legolas: PARDON ME KIND FOLK!!
*everyone stares at Legolas*
Legolas: Could you kindly divide yourselves so I can go and talk to my friend???
*everyone shrugs and continues talking amongst each other*
Gimli: Great idea.
*Aragorn's voice comes from the other side of the crowd*
Aragorn: EXCUSE ME!! GREATNESS COMING THROUGH!! THANK YOU!!
*Aragorn gets through with a path*
Legolas: Unbelievable. Why would they part for you and not us???
Aragorn: Cause I'm great...you're just an elf and a dwarf.
Gimli: Sure, rub it in.

[BelovedCaptain]

As I said before, Aragorn, what ARE WE GONNA DO WITH YOU!? :lmao:

~At CoE (yes, AGAIN!lol)
Frodo: For the last time! I won't take that Ring!
Gandalf: But Frodo! If you don't take control of the mission, how are we gonna ever defeat the Dark Lord???
Frodo: Someone else can take it! I'm not dumb enough to take this Possessive Ring of Power to a place of death and despair!
Gandalf: Any offers? Boromir?
Boromir: ME??? No WAY! Don't tempt me with such a horrible offer! I wouldn't take that thing if you paid me 100,000,000 dollars!!! It's EVIL!
Elrond: *sigh* Aragorn?
Aragorn: What do I look like?? Chopped liver???
Gimli: Mmmm....:drool:
Gandalf/Elrond: :siiiiigh* :-/

~Meanwhile, right outside~
Merry: Pass the honey dijon, please.
Pippin: I think we're *urp* out...
Merry: Rats! I still have some chilli dog left!
Pippin: Did we bring the onion rings?
Merry: Uhhh...oops. I don't think we did...wait! Here's some!
*holds out a near-empty bag of onion rings and dumps one out*
Pippin: Ooh! It's mine!!
Merry: Well, come and get it! *holds up last onion ring as Pippin tries to reach for it*
Pippin: NNNGUUUHHHH!! Gimme!!!
Merry: haha, go get it! *tosses ring out to the Council room. Pippin runs after it*
Sam: *in hiding sees it* Oooh! Yum! :drool: *eats ring*
Elrond: So, will ANYONE Take this Ring??
Pippin: *bursts into the room* NO! It's MINE! I SAW IT FIRST! LEMME HAVE IT!
Gandalf: Why not?
Frodo: You'll give the Ring to a TOOK??
Elrond: Noone else will. :huh:

~Later~
Pippin: I'll never know how I got into THIS one...:-/
Merry: Dunderhead! You though it was the onion ring!
Sam: Oh...about that onion ring...
Frodo: *sigh* Even though I scammed them, I still ended up on this mission. Oh well, at least I don't have that ring! veryhappy

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

haha Poor, poor Frodo. Still has to go on the evil mission.

~In Rivendell~
Elrond: I need a new name....mine sounds so...droaning.
Gandalf: I think I shall call you Elruse!!
Elrond: Why Elruse???
Gandalf: Because Akito was taken.
Elrond: Who's Akito???
Gandalf: Saruman. He's a girl...really.
Elrond: So...who are you???
Gandalf: I'm Shigure...hehe I love that little dog.
Elrond: Dog?? Do I want to know??
Gandalf: Akito's evil if it makes you feel better.
Elrond: And what does Shigure do???
Gandalf: He's a novelist...he writes.
Elrond: You don't write....
Gandalf: He also caters to Akito. So therefore, I do fill half the role.
Elrond: That's disturbing....
Gandalf: No...it's just helpful.
Elrond: And who's Elruse???
Gandalf: I couldn't think of a Japanese name for you.
Elrond: Nevermind...I'm beginning to like the name of Elrond again. It has a nice ring to it!!!
Gandalf: It has a rather sort of bounce to it.

[BelovedCaptain]

lol Ok, that was interesting...hehe lol
Is that from an anime show?

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

The lines no, the names yes. lol I know..it's rather random. lol

[Elf Girl]

Those are great, mellyn, as usual. lol

TTT Osgiliath “Flashback” Scene:
Boromir: You want me to ride a POGO STICK to RIVENDELL?!?
Denethor: Last time you took your horse, the thing came back all black and blue...
Boromir: *glares* My horse *is* black. *mutters* And sort of blue.
Denethor: Well if you’re going to get angry about it, how ‘bout a fell beast instead?
Boromir: The rental fees for those guys are exorbitant!
Denethor: Then it’s the pogo stick...
Boromir: This is about that frog in your goblet, isn’t it?
Denethor: N—well, yes, but that’s beside the point!
Boromir: It jumped in by itself, Father, I promise!
Denethor: For certain. Of course, your hand was a wonderful jumping-off point. And at a feast with Prince Imrahil as guest, too!
Boromir: He thought it was funny!
Denethor: *glares*
Boromir: Alright, I’m sorry. *puppy dog eyes* Now pweeese, may I ride my horse to Rivendell?
Denethor: No. No. No. And again NO! It’ll be the pogo stick, or your two feet.
Boromir: Then I won’t go. My place is here with my pals, anyway, not off in Rivendell.
Faramir: If there is need to go to Rivendell, send me in his stead.
Denethor: You?!? *laughs* You can’t even stay ON the pogo stick, let alone take it to the home of Elrond! I think not.
Faramir: *stares* Pogo stick? Guess there *are* advantages to being the “weaker brother”! *laughs to himself* Bye, Boromir!

~

My brother again helped on this random bit of insanity. I can't actually remember which bits of it are mine, except the frog. lol He just jumped in. ;) Note: No brothers of Gondor were harmed in the making of this 101-ism.

[BelovedCaptain]

haha, awesome! Faramir's got the upper hand! haha...lol

~Traveling South~
Pippin: So what do I do as the new Ringbearer?
Gandalf: You just keep the Ring on that chain there, and DON'T LOOSE IT!!!
Pippin: but it gets *unnngh* Really HEAVY hanging like that! Can't I just keep in in my pocket?
Gandalf: Of COURSE NOT!!!
Pippin: How come?
Gandalf: Well....um....don't you have holes in them?
Pippin: No...not since I checked. *checks* Nope. I have no holes.
Gandalf: Well, heck. I could care less where you keep it, just as long as you DON'T LOSE IT!!!!
Pippin: Okie dokie!

~Later on, at a campsite~
Frodo: Pass the taters please.
Sam: let me at least get a spoonful first, man!
Aragorn: Is the Ring safe, Pippin?
Pippin: :rolleyes: Yeeeess....
Gandalf: where is it?
Pippin: Uhh....I placed it right by my sandwich....
*searches and takes a bite of sandwich*
Gandalf: YOU LOST IT????????
Pippin: No! No! Merry! Didn't you see me put it by my sandwich????
Merry: *hehe* Yes.
*There's a great pause as Pippin gulps down his bite...Then...he grabs his throat*
Pippin: Crap!!!
All: What???
Pippin: I THINK I SWALLOWED IT!!! :thud:
Merry: *snigger*

Just thought I would continue the Pippin as the Ringbearer gag. squinchy

[Frodo's Pearl]

Except for the bit of language there *ahem*, THAT IS SOO FUNNY! lol

[BelovedCaptain]

Oops! :blush: Sorry, dear. :-/

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

hehe...of course...they had to give the ring to Pippin. haha lol

[BelovedCaptain]

~At Lothlorien~
Pippin: I say it's Ganalf in the garden with the dagger.
*Frodo shows him a card*
Merry: My turn! I say it's Aragorn in the Dining Room with the staff!!
Aragorn: What???
Sam: He thinks you killed Haldir in the dining room with a staff.
Aragorn: What in Middle Earth are you doing???
Frodo: Haven't you ever heard of Clue???
Aragorn: No...What do you have to do?
Merry: Well, the plot is, Haldir has been murdered and there are 6 suspects who are trying to figure out who done it. There's Aragorn, Gandalf, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli and Elrond. We each make assumptions to decide who killed Haldir. Like, Sam would say Legolas killed him in the lounge with the rachet. That sort of thing.
Aragorn: So how do you figure it out?
Sam: We each have cards. Now, if Frodo had a card of either Legolas, the lounge or a rachet, than I know that some of my assumption is wrong, and I have to try again. The first person who has a suspect, place and weapon that noone has a card of will see if they're right. If they are, they Win!
Aragorn: So what's this? *picks up a small envelope that says "Confidential!"
Pippin: Don't look in there!!! Those are the cards that hold who what and how!
Aragorn: Huh?
Merry: In that envelope are three cards that tell who killed Haldir, where he was killed and the weapon that killed him....Now, any cards???
Sam: Nope.
Frodo: I got none.
Pippin: Nada.
Merry: Well! Then my guess is that Aragorn Killed Haldir in the Dining Room with the Staff!!!
*Aragorn looks in the small envelope*
Aragorn: By golly! You're right!
Merry: I WIN!!!!
Pippin: *sighs and throws cards down* That's the fourth time he's won! We gotta get a new game!
Frodo: Monopoly, anyone?
Other hobbits: NO!!!
Frodo: Sorry! Just a suggestion!
Aragorn: I don't think I like that Clue game....:mmmm:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: Aragorn not like Clue?? :lmao: Frodo loving Monopoly??? Haha...wouldn't that be more of a Bilbo game??? haha lol

~In the Shire~
Merry: Wow...that was one crazy tick that Bilbo's got.
Pippin: Monsterous!!
Merry: Oh yeah...man it was completely crazy, did you see it??
Pippin: Totally...it was like...woah.
Merry: Mind you, it would be cool to have a tick like that.
Pippin: I want one.
*Sam and Frodo look at each other and then back at the other 2*
Sam: Okay, just for starters....it's a TRICK!! Not a TICK.
Frodo: You don't want a tick...they burrow themselves into your skulls and flesh.
*Merry and Pippin look at each other, confused, then back at Sam and Frodo*
Merry: No, I definitely want a tick.
Pippin: I've always wanted a pet...I think I'll call it...Merry.
Merry: I'll call mine Pippin.
Pippin: That way we'll always have each other to talk to when we're apart.
Sam: (whispering) They're beyond drunk...aren't they??
Frodo: (whispering) I think they've had some pipe weed.
Sam: (whispering) It definitely shows.
Pippin: We'll always be together, man...
Merry: In tickness.

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: Oh wow...:lmao:
That's awesome! roflmao

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I take it you enjoyed my randomness, BC??? haha

[BelovedCaptain]

hehe, oh yes. Randomness is the best! :p

~Climbing Caradhras~
Pippin: I think we should sing a song.
Boromir: Why???
Merry: Good idea! A song would keep us occupied from thinking how frozen our toes are!
Gimli: Ooookaaaayy...
Aragorn: What song do you have in mind?
Pippin: You know this one?
Oh the weather outside is Frightful! But the fire is sooo Delightful!!
Merry: And since we've no place to go...
Both: LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!
Frodo: It doesn't show a sign of stoppin', and I've got some corn for poppin'.
Sam: The lights we'll turn WAY down loooow,
All: LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOOOOOW!!!
Boromir: How is it, you hobbits can find a song for ANYTHING??
Merry: Don't knock it, Jack. You don't know how many songs we made up at the Green Dragon back at home for the most random things.

[Nibinaraniel]

Legolas: I feel pretty, oh so pretty! i feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!
Aragorn: I knew it!
Gimli: Dang.... The secrets out.....

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

lol Those were great....now Boromir is Jack...who knew??? Oh wait...a hobbit. lol

~In the Prancing Pony~
Sam: So what should we order??
Pippin: That peach cobbler really sounds good.
Merry: I'm liking the mac'n cheese thing myself.
Frodo: What's grilled cheese?? Sounds good.
Pippin: Ooo, it should come with a peach cobbler.
Sam: What's with you and the cobbler??
Pippin: PEACH cobbler. And it's good.
Merry: So is mac'n cheese.
*Butterbur walks up with pad of paper and a pen ready*
Butterbur: So what are we ordering tonight, young lads??
Pippin: Well, I'll have mac'n cheese with a peach cobbler.
Merry: I'll have mac'n cheese as well.
Frodo: I'll try the grilled cheese, please.
Sam: I'll have a cheeseburger with extra cheese, fries, garlic bread...and popcorn shrimp. Oh, and can I also get a root beer???
Butterbur: Is that everything??
All hobbits: Yep.
*Butterbur walks away*
Pippin: Sam, do you want to know why you're bigger then us??
Sam: Oh shut up, I couldn't decide what I wanted more. So, I ordered all the things I had trouble deciding on...so I could have some for later.
Merry: Why didn't we think of that??
Sam: Pippin, do you want to know why I'm smarter then you???

[Nibinaraniel]

lol lol lol

I want to be there for that!

[Frodo's Pearl]

Those were great!! And CM, you're making me hungry! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Sorry Pearl...I had peach cobbler on the brain. I'll change...lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

That's okay.. I need to do a little suffering. lol

[BelovedCaptain]

I WANT MAC'N CHEEESEEE!!! :drool:

Yeah, Sam may be...on the big side, but he's the man with da plan! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

haha...who knew that food could sound so good?? I was thinking of camp food. :lmao:

~Looking into Galadriel's Mirror~
Galadriel: I know what it is you saw.
Frodo: How did you do that???
Galadriel: It has been in my mind.
Frodo: That's creepy...what are you spying on me and my friends???
Galadriel: No, the other thing.
Frodo: But dude, we were having some ale on the back of Gandalf's wagon singing a song that Merry and Pippin created in the Green Dragon.
Galadriel: Then what the heck was I looking at??
Frodo: Maybe you were sleeping....
Galadriel: Are you saying it was all a dream??
Frodo: Uhmmmm....no??
Galadriel: Then you're calling me a liar??
Frodo: I think you're insomnia's been through the roof and you're imagining things that aren't real.
Galadriel: Oh...well when you put it that way. Celeborn stole my Lunesta, so he could catch a few Z's.
Frodo: There you go, go steal it back!!!
Galadriel: But he looks so peaceful when he sleeps....
Frodo: Then may I suggest something???
Galadriel: What???
Frodo: Stop looking into mirrors...they're feeding your-already-overactive imagination.
Galadriel: You're right...I should stop.
Frodo: There you go, that's the spirit.
Galadriel: But first...I need to supervise Sam's request to look.
Frodo: NO!!! You must wander about the river's edge...GO!!!
Galadriel: But...
Frodo: NO BUTS!! You'd better get going right now, Missy!!
*Galadriel walks away half in a pout*
*Sam walks up behind Frodo*
Sam: That was a bit harsh...
Frodo: Well, sometimes you have to be stern. Especially with elves...they have a hard time understanding discipline...just because they've been around forever, they think they know it all.
Sam: Yeah..that's true.

[BelovedCaptain]

When push comes to shove, the wisest are the smallest. lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Same with the toughest!! lol Awe...a sad Viggo.mecry

[Frodo's Pearl]

Figwit: My lady..
*Arwen turns from the vision*
Arwen: Figwit, I'm not going after all. I've GOT to stay behind to marry Aragorn!
Figwit: My lady, you've gotta help me. I'm stuck with the name FIGWIT!
Arwen: So?
Figwit: That's not an ELF name! That's a MOOSE name! How the heck did someone come up with the name FIGWIT! Makes me feel like a fruit!
Arwen: Maybe your parents were out of their minds.
Figwit: Or the director.
Arwen: WHAT??
Figwit: HEY PETE! Can't I have another name, like... Fingon!
Arwen: Oh brother.
Figwit: Or Maedhros!
Arwen: I don't have to deal with this. *Turns horse around and rides back to Rivendell*
Figwit: Or, VERONWE! Yeah, I like that! Veronwe! That's my name now, no more Figwit-- hey, where did she go?

[BelovedCaptain]

lol Does he even know what Figwit really stands for? If he did, he'd FLIP!! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

haha...well right now...he's having a bit of stand against it...lol

~The Hobbits~
Merry: So tell me Pip...if you were a fruit...what would you be??
Pippin: I'd be a...watermellon.
Merry: Really?? I would think that Sam would be a watermellon.
Pippin: Well he probably would be, too.
Sam: Hey!! I would not be a watermellon. I would be an orange.
Frodo: Or a grapefruit.
Sam: Hey, grapefruits are good for you.
Merry: Well I would be a lemon.
Sam: Why? Because you're sour??
Merry: No...because they're awesome. They have multiple talents.
Pippin: Such as what??
Merry: Well, they can be used for cleaning, they can add flavour to different foods, and their peels are a great garnish.
Sam: Are you obsessed with them???
Frodo: haha Who'd be obsessed with a fruit???
Pippin: I would be.
Merry: No, I"m not obsessed. I"m just impressed. There's a difference.
Sam: Oh brother.

[Frodo's Pearl]

roflmao

Here's another one similar to the other one.

Aragorn: Let me see your sword. What is your name?
Haleth: Haleth, son of Hama.
Aragorn: Haleth?? Haleth is a girl's name!
Haleth: What! Really??
Aragorn: Duh! Haven't you ever heard of Haleth the Adan, who led her people heroically from Thargelion? What's your father naming his son Haleth for?
Haleth: I guess we're not up on our Middle Earth history.
Aragorn: You ain't just whistlin' dixie, brother. Tell you what, you pick up a copy of the Silmarillion, and read it, (including about Haleth) and maybe your father can help pick a better name for you. A BOY's name.
Haleth: Actually, my father just died in a warg attack.
Aragorn: What? He did?? Wait, who did you say your father was?
Haleth: Hama.
Aragorn: Oh geez. You look more like Gamling than Hama.
Haleth: *rolls eyes*

[BelovedCaptain]

lol That poor kid. lol

Yours was good too, Monkey!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Well the boy does have the long hair thing going on...great, now Aragorn's going to have his identity messed with for the rest of his life. :lmao: How would you like a King telling you that you have a girl's name??? Talk about a mental disturbance for the rest of your life. lol <---how mean am I?? sorry.

[SamwiseAtHeart]

Well there are osme names that can go for both genders. Names like Tracy, or Erin, or Kelly. Maybe Haleth is a transgender name...

[BelovedCaptain]

~in Bree~
Merry: Strider, can you go and cut down a pine tree for us?
Strider: Why????
Pippin: Because he said so! Now go out there and GET US A TREEE!!!!! :angry:
Strider: Fine. :blink: I'm going! I'm going!
*Few Minutes Later*
Strider: Okay, I've got your tree. What are you gonna do with it?
Frodo: First we need you to put it in our tree stand!
Strider: Where'd you get a tree stand??? *places tree in tree stand*
Sam: Never you mind! Now, decorations!!
Hobbits: YAY!!!! :yahoo:
*Strider watches as the hobbits pull out boxes from under the big bed. They decorate the tree with all sorts of pretty, shiny things. There's glittery balls, candy canes, stockings and a hobbit Santa!*
Sam: You do the honors, Strider! *holds up a star*
Merry: It goes on the tippity top of the tree! veryhappy
Strider: hehe, this is actually kinda fun! :)
Pippin: Doesn't it look pretty! Now, stockings!
Frodo: Strider, can you hammer some nails into the fireplace?
Strider: HUH??? What are you doing now?
Hobbits: You'll see!
*Strider hammers in some nails onto the mantle and watches as the hobbits put up five stockings with all their names on each of them*
Frodo: Those will be filled later!!
Strider: Hey! One's got my name on it!
Pippin: Of course! You deserve to get some stuff too!
Strider: Stuff---?
Merry: All to bed now! We'll wait for Gandta Claus!!!!
Strider: WHO?
Frodo: He'll come in the night and leave goodies for each of us good hobbits! :angel:
Hobbits: Goodnight Strider!
Strider: Um...goodnight...
*Later on in the night, Strider hears a noise. Suddenly Gandalf drops from the fireplace*
Strider: Gandalf! Boy, am I glad to see you!
Gandalf: Shh boy! I'm not Gandalf right now! Tonight, I am GANDTA CLAUS!!!
Strider: What??? What's going on, Gandalf? And why are your robes all red???
Gandalf: Shush boy!!! :nono:
*Gandta Claus goes over to the little sleeping hobbits and places a Candy cane under each of their pillows. Then he goes over to the stockings and fills them. And then he takes some wrapped gifts from a big sack and places them under the tree*
Strider: I don't understand...
Gandalf: And one for you, m'boy! *hands Strider a candy cane*
Strider: Wow. Thanks, Gandal---I mean...Gandta..:mmmm:
Gandalf: don't mention it! Merry Christmas! :xmas: *disappears*
Strider: Well, that was odd...
~Next Morning~
Frodo: Guys! Gandta's Been HERE!!! :yahoo:
other hobbits: YAY!!!!
*All the hobbits run to their stockings and find tons of goodies. They each show Strider and he finds one of his own filled with things for himself. Then they all begin opening presents.*
Strider: What a nice thing to do. I'm beginning to like this Christmas thing...:)
Hobbits: MERRY CHRISTMAS STRIDER!! *they hug him*
Strider: :blush: Merry Christmas, my friends...:grin:

The End :xmas:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:rofl: Now that was awesome...Strider learning how to trim a tree...:lmao:

[Frodo's Pearl]

notworthy BC, that was just AWSOME!!! Heehee, sooo cute! Now I'm REALLY getting Christmassy! lol :D

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

In holiday spirit tradtion....don't you love Christmas songs??? hehe

~The Hobbits and Strider~
Merry: Do you see what I see?
Pippin: Do you see what I see?
Merry: A star, a star, dancing in the night with a tail as big as a kite's...with a tail as big as a kite's.
Frodo: Do you hear what I hear?
Sam: Do you hear what I hear?
Frodo: A song, a song. High above the trees with a voice as big as the sea, with a voice as big as the sea.
Strider: Can I say something?
All hobbits: Can I say something?
Strider: This isn't part of the song....
Hobbits: This isn't part of the song....
Strider: I'm being serious!!
Hobbits: I'm being serious!!
*Strider gives them all the death glare*
*Hobbits give it back*
Pippin: Oooo...Come they told me, pa rump-a-pum, pum.
Merry: A newborn KING to see pa rump-a-pum, pum.
Frodo: What gift to give our KING? Pa rump-a-pum, pum, rump-a-pum, pum, rump-a-pum, pum.
Sam: Then he smiled at me pa rump-a-pum, pum....me and my drum!!
Strider: I'm not a KING.
Pippin: Not yet.

[BelovedCaptain]

Aww, thanks guys. :cuddles:

That was so adorable, Monkey! lol the hobbits kept repeating him, haha..lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Now imagine all the hobbits giving "death" glares...:lmao: Minus Sam, cause he could probably actually pull it off. lol

[BelovedCaptain]

*imagines it* lol hehehe...I could just cuddle them all! squinchy
Ahh..hobbits are too cute! squinchy

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Yes they are...lol

~In The Green Dragon~
Merry: Heigh-ho!!
Pippin: Heigh-ho!!
Together: Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go....*whistles*
Frodo: Did I just hear them right?? Did they say work???
Sam: Those 2 couldn't work if they tried.
Merry: Oh, sure we could. How else do you think we get into Farmer Maggot's crops??
Pippin: Work.
Sam: And here I thought it was sneaking around his house trying not to work.
Pippin: If it makes me hungry it's considered work.
Merry: I second that.
Frodo: But that shouldn't count...everything makes you hungry.
Merry: He's got a point to that, Pip.
Pippin: Then I guess everything should be considered work.
Merry and Pippin: Here, here. To work!!
Sam: Thinking is not work, so put your cups down.
Pippin: No, but sneaking is work...so we're cheering to that. :p

[BelovedCaptain]

lol Oh I dunno, to some, thinking IS work! haha...lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Yeah I guess. For me it's dangerous. haha For men/guys/boys, it's work. haha Oh wait...what are they again?? :lmao:

[Frodo's Pearl]

roflmao That's darn cute! Those silly, crazy, work-deprived hobbits! (Or should I say that??) :p

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Isn't Sam the only one who would actually end up working anyways?? Well, alright...I could see Merry working too. lol

~In Bree~
Pippin: LOOK!!!
Sam: What???
Pippin: A fence.
Merry: How amazing..have you ever seen one before Pippin??
Pippin: Of course...they fascinate me.
Sam: It's a fence. Keeps people out.
Pippin: But people live on the other side of it.
Merry: It's meant to keep people aside from the OWNERS out.
Pippin: Ooooohhhh. So why do we have them??
Sam: To keep you out.
Pippin: Oh...hey..wait.
Frodo: Are you guys coming???
Sam: Yes, we were explaining the reason behind fences to Pippin.
Frodo: I think it's more like a fettish or obsession then a fascination.
Sam: I think he's just dumb about them.
Frodo: Fettish sounds so much nicer, Sam.
*Sam looks behind him towards Merry and Pippin*
Pippin: Are they all made of wood??
Merry: *sighs* No...just the easy to jump ones.
Pippin: Cool....

Yes...it's VERY random...:lmao: That's what makes it so fun. lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

Randomness and random people are wonderful. lol

[BelovedCaptain]

hehe, yes they are.
Pippin should call the fence Steve! :grin: (If you've never seen Over the Hedge, you won't get it! squinchy)

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I love that movie...I still have to buy it. BUT, I have seen it. lol

~Meeting Galadriel and Celeborn~
Galadriel: Hmmmm...something is wrong...I can feel it.
*Celeborn drops his hand, Galadriel looks at him*
Galadriel: Is there something you'd like to tell me??
Celeborn: I think I have a cold...I don't want you to get sick.
Legolas: May I interrupt for a moment??
Galadriel: Oh what do you want??
Legolas: I believe you wanted to talk to us.
*Galadriel huffs and waves her hand infront of her face*
Galadriel: Oh right. Where is Gandalf?
Sam: He fell over a cliff.
*Frodo smacks Sam*
Aragorn: He fell in Moria...with shadow and flame.
Legolas: A balrog.
Galadriel: Oh great...now who's bringing the snacks?? He was supposed to have them with him when he got here.
Celeborn: I guess we'll have to order take out. Agaaaaaiiin.
Aragorn: Can I get some kelp on mine??
Celeborn: I'm not ordering pizza again...we're having Chinese!!! And I'm doing the ordering.
Galadriel: If it's Chinese we have no say...so, we might as well chill.
Legolas: Chill??
Galadriel: Yeah...got an extra pipe??
Merry: I do ma'am.
Galadriel: Don't call me ma'am, it makes me feel old.
Legolas: (whispers) What the heck happened to her???
Aragorn: (whispers back) Too much time spent with Celeborn...I hear he's a drone.
Legolas: That sucks.

[BelovedCaptain]

lol Aw, poor Celeborn. Nobody likes him. lol
Personally, I'd go for Arbys. :grin:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

And Galadriel has become snappy :lmao: An elf smoke pipe weed?? :lmao: I thought it sounded funny. I know they like ale...but pipe weed??

[BelovedCaptain]

No, that doesn't seem very elvish. :lmao: They'd ruin their perfectly healthy lungs! haha..lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

~In the Gap of Rohan~
Aragorn: My goodness...could it get any hotter out here???
Gimli: It's the middle of autumn!!
Aragorn: And we're in a desert.
Legolas: I thought this was more like a meadow.
Aragorn: If it was a meadow..there'd be dandilions and tulips.
Legolas: And trees, and birds, and black berry bushes...
Gimli: And GREEN grass.
Aragorn: Yes...so therefore, yellow grass equals a desert.
Legolas: Actually a lot of sand and no water equals a desert...we're just in a plain, wide, empty field that goes on forever and leads to nowhere. *sighs*
Aragorn: It's Rohan...so it leads somewhere.
Gimli: Yeah....so which direction are we going again??
*Aragorn points to his up-right*
Aragorn: That way.
Gimli: Let's get going then...I'm thirsty.

[Elf Girl]

lol

The following is what happens when you combine myself and my brother with not enough sleep and a certain pirate movie...

*In Lothlórien*

Frodo: Galadriel. All I want is to save Middle-Earth.
Galadriel: Are you certain? Is that what you *really* want most?
Frodo: 'Course.
Galadriel: Because I would think, you'd want to find a way to *easily* save Middle-Earth the most.
Frodo: And you have a way of doing that?
Galadriel: Well, there is a chest...
Sam: Oh, dear.
Galadriel: A chest of unknown size and origin.

*Haldir and Celeborn walk by, together carrying a crate of bottles, and overhearing the conversation.*

Haldir: What contains the still-beating heart o' Sauron.
Celeborn: *mimes beating heart in hand* Unh-unh... unh-unh... unh-unh...
Galadriel: And whoever possesses that chest possesses the leverage to command Sauron to do whatever it is he or she wants, including... throwing the Ring into Orodruin.
Boromir: You don't actually *believe* her, do you?
Frodo: How do we find it?
Galadriel: With this. *gestures to mirror* My mirror... is unique.
Boromir: "Unique" here having the meaning of broken.
Galadriel: True enough. This mirror does not reflect normal images.
Frodo: What does it reflect?
Galadriel: It reflects the thing you want most in this world.
Frodo: Oh Lady of Light! Are you telling the truth?
Galadriel: Every word, love. And what you want most in this world is to find the chest of Sauron, is it not?
Frodo: To save Middle Earth?
Galadriel: By finding the chest of Sauron.

*Galadriel puts Frodo in front of water-mirror, then draws away quickly so as not to influence the mirror.*
*Frodo consults the mirror; for him the the mirror clearly shows a specific reflection.*
*Galadriel slowly rises up to peer at the surface of the mirror.*

Galadriel: Aragorn!
Aragorn: M’lady.
Galadriel: We have our direction...

[BelovedCaptain]

:rolleyes: Oh wow! That was soo great! lol Haha...Celeborn mimicking a heart! lol
hehe, You made Boromir as Norrington! Yay! :p

[Frodo's Pearl]

roflmao I was imagining the whole thing as I read it. *Imagines Galadriel slowly rising up* lol

[Elf Girl]

Glad you like it! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Yes, I never had the chance to add that it was totally awesome. I loved it. lol

~Random~
Galadriel: Look, beautiful grass.
Celeborn: It's grass.
Galadriel: Yeah...but it's beautiful.
Haldir: It's green...grassy...it's...exactly what Celeborn said.
Galadriel: Oh stop agreeing with him. He's not so special.
Haldir: Is the grass??
Galadriel: Yes...the grass and the sand are beautiful and specialler then you two.
Celeborn: We've been replaced by dead objects...how insulting.
Haldir: What will become of us??
Galadriel: The grass isn't dead...it's alive...just like you are.
Celeborn: Alright missy, how much of this have you been chewing on??
Galadriel: None...I could never kill the grass.
Haldir: Alright then...how much water and sand got into your ears when you went swimming???
Galadriel: Hey...he threw me in.
Celeborn: And if this is what happens when she comes back to land...I'm never doing it again.
Haldir: We've still been replaced by grass.
Celeborn: And sand.
Galadriel: Don't feel bad, I was replaced by a ring.
Celeborn: That's not nearly as sad...but...it is rather funny.
*Celeborn and Haldir both end up laughing at Galadriel, who throws handfuls of sand at them*

[Elf Girl]

Thanks CM4F! lol

Poor Galadriel, replaced by a ring... roflmao

[BelovedCaptain]

roflmao haha, Galadriel loves grass! haha...

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Of course she does...she's a "wood" elf. lol

[BelovedCaptain]

roflmao

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

lol I just thought of something very, very random. Please, bare with me.

~In Edoras~
Gamling: And what do they call you, infidel??
Aragorn: I am NOT an infidel.
Gamling: You run around with elves, dwarves, wizards...that sounds like an infidel.
*Theoden walks up*
Theoden: What's going on???
Aragorn: He's accusing me of being an infidel.
*Theoden looks at Gamling*
Theoden: Is this true, Gamling???
Gamling: Look at him...he IS an infidel.
Theoden: Gamling...he is NOT your father...so therefore...he is NOT an infidel.
Aragorn: You're daddy was an enigma??
Gamling: He, too, was an infidel.
Gimli: What is your crazy fettish with that stinkin' word???
Gamling: It's fun to say...try it....in-fi-dell. Infidel.
Gimli: And they thought the hobbits were bad.

I was saying this around my parents house one day, after watching Hidalgo. And my mom told me to stop it because I kept saying it to my brother. But it's not like I was lying....it's true.

[Elf Girl]

*is possibly dying of lalaith* :lmao:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Oh don't die...you haven't finished laughing yet.lol I'm glad you liked it.

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: I love that word! You're right, Mokey! It's so fun! lol

~At Gondor~
*Gandalf just knocked Denethor down after Faramir was brought in wounded*
Gandalf: Come all! Prepare for battle!! The Steward's mind has turned to madness! Do not heed him! We must FIGHT!!!!!
Denthor: *slowly rises* Just who put you in charge???? I'M the Steward of the City!!! I tell them what to do!! BELAY THAT!!! FLEEEE FOR YOUR PETTY LIIIIVESSSS!!!
Gandalf: Belay that "belay that"!!! You are a deranged psychopath and NOT to be trusted, therefore, I am in charge of the battles!
Denethor: Since when???
Gandalf: Since NOW!
Denthor: Well, who made you Steward???
Gandalf: I DID!
Denethor: Out of the question! I am the ONE AND ONLY Steward!
Gandalf: Not anymore!!
Denethor: I am! Flee All! That's an order!
Gandalf: No, I am! Stay and Fight!!! That's the ORDER!!!
Pippin: HEY! BOTH OF YOU STOW IT RIGHT NOW!!!! THAT'S AN ORDER!!!!
*both stare at Pippin*
Pippin: hehe, sorry. Just thought since you were both arguing about who's the Steward, I thought I'd put my vote in! :blush:
*both walk away still arguing*
Faramir: *from the hospital mat* I'd vote for you!
Pippin: Thanks, dude.

Hmmm, wonder where I got that from...? ;) lol

[Elf Girl]

:lmao: Hmmm... I wonder, too? lol It wouldn't be a certain Pirate movie, now would it? :naughty:

[BelovedCaptain]

:angel: Maaaaybeeee...:p

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

lol BC, that was awesome. haha

[BelovedCaptain]

:notworthy: Thank you. :blush:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Oooo, I have a random one...are you ready??? hehe :hyper: Better be...I mean....*runs away to get this thing started*

~Sitting on the rubble at Isengard~
Merry: I can make a boat!!
Pippin: I can make a ring!!
Merry: I can make a pig!!
Pippin: I can make a seeing stone!!
Merry: I'll bet you can't make a pig's tail.
Pippin: Isn't that part of the pig??
Merry: Yes...but this pig didn't have a tail. You should make one for it.
Pippin: Alrighty. I'll be right back.
Merry: Need more already???
*Pippin wanders off but doesn't reply*
~10 minutes later Pippin comes back~
Merry: What took you so long??
*Pippin holds up a rock sculture*
Pippin: I made a pig WITH a tail.
*Merry slaps his forehead*
Merry: I meant from smoke.
Pippin: Oh...well, this was more fun.
Merry: I want you to make a cow, now.
Pippin: Alright.
*Pippin blows out a cow*
Merry: Now he gets the idea...sheesh.

[Frodo's Pearl]

lol That was great!

~~~
~Moria~
Gandalf: Ah! It's that way!
Merry: He's remembered!
Gandalf: No; but the air doesn't smell so foul down here.
Merry: *Sniffs* So it doesn't! By the way, has anybody seen Aragorn?

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: That's awesome, Pearl!!!! roflmao

Monkey, yours was cute too! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

That was cute too...haha Good job.

[Frodo's Pearl]

Thanks. lol

[Elf Girl]

:lmao: Y'alls are great! I know I can always get on here and find something to make me laugh. :cuddles:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

~In the Houses of Healings~
Faramir: Fair Lady...
Eowyn: Oh shut up...call me Eowyn.
Faramir: That hardly sounds respectful.
Eowyn: I don't care.
Faramir: A little hostile are we??
Eowyn: No...I'm sick of all this "fair lady", "my lord", "master"...crazy talk. I'm going nuts.
Faramir: Alright then....What are you up to today??
Eowyn: The same thing I'm up to everyday...nothing.
Faramir: Well that seems sad.
Eowyn: That's because it is. Dang it...I want something to do!!
Faramir: How about dance??
Eowyn: Too mushy.
Faramir: Singing??
Eowyn: Too sappy.
Faramir: Then what do you want to do, woman???
Eowyn: I want to practise my fencing!!!
Faramir: You're what??
Eowyn: You don't know what fencing is?? WHAT HAVE I BEEN SURROUNDED BY???
Faramir: Bookworms.
Eowyn: EEWWWW!!!
*Eowyn walks away*

[Elf Girl]

roflmao *dies*

[BelovedCaptain]

Aww...poor Faramir....:(

:blink: ..............Wait.....................

SHE'S GONE!! I CAN HAVE HIM!!! :hyper:
I LOVE to read, Fazzy!!!!!! !!! :wave: :loveyou:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I had to do one for the 2 of them...I thought you'd enjoy it BC. haha

[BelovedCaptain]

squinchy How could you tell?? *innocent eyes*

[Frodo's Pearl]

*Snorts* lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

~Past Ithilien~
Frodo: *softly singing* Oh beautiful baby....
Gollum: WAKE UP PRECIOUS!! IT'S AFTER US!!!
Sam: Idiot...they're all after us.
Gollum: Not orcses, precious.
Sam: Then what's after us??
Gollum: THE BRIGHT FACE!!!
*Gollum runs ahead*
Frodo: What was he going on about??
Sam: How the sun was stalking us....
Frodo: Oh...I thought he had issues with the moon...
Sam: He's unfaithful.
Frodo: Well duh...his TRUE love is this....
*Frodo holds up the Ring*
Sam: Put that away...before he remembers.
Frodo: Oh yeah....HEY GOLLUM!! WAIT UP!!

[Frodo's Pearl]

roflmao

Denethor: Can you sing, master Hobbit?
Pippin: Well yes--
Denethor: Sing me a song!
Pippin: (Droaning voice)..."Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows my sorrow..."
Denethor: Can't you sing anything else? Something more light.
Pippin: "It's a small world after all..!"
Denethor: NO! ANYTHING but that!
Pippin: "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts (deedlee de), all standing in a row..."
Denethor: (Starts humming along with song)
Pippin: (Low voice) Arghh, bet I'd never have to do this if Aragorn was king..
Denethor: WHAT DID YOU SAY??!
Pippin: Eee! I said, uhhh, uhh, ear-a-corn?
Denethor: Good..

[BelovedCaptain]

BWAAAHHAAH!!!! :lmao: roflmao

lollollollollollollol

Awesome!! veryhappy

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Gotta love Zazu and Scar...:lmao: I miss that movie. haha

~In the Mines of Moria~
Gimli: They call it a MINE!! A MINE!!!
Boromir: This isn't a mine...it's a...TOMB!!
Gimli: I beg your pardon...but I'm sure I know the tales of my people.
Boromir: Then I suggest you take a look around and tell me what you think of the decoration.
Gimli: I think we need a little more confetti. Bright red would be a little more cheerful.
Aragorn: And here I thought arrows were plenty decoration.
Legolas: That's why I added them.
Gandalf: I thought of the party mithril pool!!!
Gimli: LET'S TAKE A DIP!!!
*the Hobbits watch everyone*
Frodo: So...aren't we supposed to be going through without being noticed???
Pippin: I thought that, that was the idea.
Sam: Do you think they forgot??
Frodo: It's a pretty urgent mission.
Gandalf: Come on guys!!! Jump in, it's lovely in here.
*the Hobbits all just stare*

[Frodo's Pearl]

Oh man, they're so lost. roflmao

Oh, and thanks, guys! :D

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

The fearless leaders jumped into a pool and are now splashing around...what shall they do??? lol

[BelovedCaptain]

The hobbits will just have to go on, on their own, I guess. lol
I wonder if they could make it through the mines on their own? :p

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

They'll follow Pippin's nose...:lmao:

[Fingolfin]

Pippin: Ouch! That hurt! What was that???
Merry: Second Breakfast!
Pippin: He did not!!! (Throws Apple back over the bush..)

Sound effect: SPLAT!

Aragorn: UUMMMFFFPPPP! (THUD!)

Pippin: How's SECOND BREAKFAST TASTE NOW HOMMIE!!!!

[Elf Girl]

lol Somehow, I don't think Aragorn would like that...

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: hahaha! That's great, Fin! roflmao

Aragorn didn't know about Pippin's throwing skills! lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

roflmao That was hilrarious. :D

[Nibinaraniel]

Gangster Pippin?

[Fingolfin]

This is "101 things a LOTR character would never say" correct? ;)

[Frodo's Pearl]

Aye, it is! :D

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

That was so awesome. Thank you for contributing...haha It's great.

~In Helms Deep~
Theoden: Where are my men??
Aragorn: You banished them.
Theoden: Where are your men??
Aragorn: I abandoned them.
*Theoden turns to Legolas*
Theoden: Where are YOUR men??
*hears a horn sound*
Legolas: (sings) THEY'RE HERE!!!
Theoden: Finally...a little bit of help.
Aragorn: I could have done it on my own you know....
Theoden: I could have picked the flowers for your grave too.
Gamling: I already did.
*Theoden and Aragorn look at Gamling*
Gamling: Hey...I'm preparing myself.
Aragorn: I'll prepare you!!!
Theoden: Yes, for battle...now let's go children.
Aragorn and Gamling: Yes daddy.

[BelovedCaptain]

*snicker* What would it have been like without Theoden there??? :lmao:

Helm's Deep would have been doomed! roflmao

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

The only one who ended up being any help out of that conversation...was Legolas.:lmao:

[Frodo's Pearl]

Gandalf: Bilbo's left you Bag End, and all his possesions.
Frodo: Whoo-hoo! This means I can FINALLY clean this place up!
Gandalf: Well, good for you. I wish you luck.
Frodo: Now wait a minute! Aren't you going to help me out here? I mean, I can't clean this place all on my own, ya know!
Gandalf: Sorry, but I really have to skiddadle.
Frodo: You do not! You just don't want to work!
Gandalf: Hey, it's YOUR stuff.
Frodo: Well, I don't want ALL of it! You've gotta help me clean and then set up a yard sale.
Gandalf: Yard sale?? No way, I'm leaving. You do it yourself.
Frodo: But all this dust! I'll get allergies!
Gandalf: Look, if you really need me to help, I will. Here, take this.
Frodo: What is it?
Gandalf: Allergy medicine. *Leaves*
Frodo: Bilbo, WHY did you do this to me??

[BelovedCaptain]

haha, Gee thanks, Gandalf. :rolleyes:

That was cute! lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

Thanks! :D

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: That's awesome Pearl. I love it...*wipes tear from eye* Oh man..that was awesome.

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL. Wow, thanks CM! :)

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Pippin: I say blue eyes, blonde hair and a sweet smile.
Merry: Yeah? Well I say black hair, blue eyes and soft skin.
Pippin: Hmmm...well maybe blonde hair, grey eyes and vast knowledge...
Merry: Hmmm...possibly. What about white hair, blue eyes and a beak??
Pippin: I'm sure the Beaker would like that...
*Merry and Pippin fall over laughing*
Sam: What ARE they talking about?? Their future wives??
Frodo: No, they're debating who Aragorn will marry.
Sam: Are they refraining from names??
Frodo: Yep...that way if he walks by, he won't suspect a thing.
Sam: Who's Beaker??
Frodo: You don't want to know.
Gandalf: I am!!! And you call yourself observant.

[BelovedCaptain]

And the winner is.... Merry! ;)


Pippin: *sings* Everybody's got a water buffalo! Yours is fast, but mine is slow. Oh where'd we get them? I dunno, but everybody's got a water buffaloooooooooo..... I took my buffalo to the store, he got his head stuck in a door. Spilled some lima beans on the floor. Oh everybody's got a--
Frodo: Stop! Stop right now! What do you think you're doing??? You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo, because everyone does NOT have a water buffalo!!! The guys are going to start saying nasty stuff like, "where's MY water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo??" And are you prepared to deal with that?? I don't think so! Stop being so SILLY!!!
Merry: But he's not finished yet!
Pippin: Yep! *sings* Everybody's got a baby kangaroo! Yours is pink, but mine is blue..
Frodo: ARRRGH!! *tackles Pippin*
.............................................
*Other Fellowship members stare*
Boromir: What was that all about???
Aragorn: I have no idea....

[Frodo's Pearl]

Boromir and Aragorn, we NEED to get you educated. roflmao That was so great, BC. :D

[Elf Girl]

:lmao: Those are great, y'alls!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

My water buffalo is actually a flying moo. :lmao:

Arwen: Mithrandir...what a strange name.
Gandalf: That's because it comes from the speech of man.
Arwen: So does Aragorn...but that's romantic.
Gandalf: Arwen sounds like a rude name.
Arwen: How so??!!
Gandalf: It's missing 2 letters. A C and an H.
Arwen: At the end?? Arwen....HEY!!!
Gandalf: Now doesn't that sound romantic??
*Gandalf runs away*

[Frodo's Pearl]

Okay... *bursts out laughing*

[BelovedCaptain]

GANDALF! Naughty, naughty.... :nono:
lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

*Boromir stands with his right hand over his left chest*
Aragorn: What are you doing??
Boromir: Oh captain, my captain.
Aragorn: Are you referring to me??
Boromir: Yes captain, my captain.
Aragorn: I'm not your captain. I'm a ranger!!
Boromir: Oh sorry....Oh ranger, my ranger.
Aragorn: Stop repeating yourself.
Boromir: But ranger, my ranger...
Aragorn: And STOP calling me YOUR ranger.
Gandalf: Yes...1, it's annoying and 2, he's Arwen's ranger.
Boromir: Oh wizard, my butt-kicker!!
Gandalf: I'll sick the staff on you!!!
Boromir: sorry....
*Boromir hums the tune to We Are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything*

[Fingolfin]

Mouth of Sauron: Is there anyone here who will Treat with me???
Vanessa (From the Orbits commercial) Sure but you need this!
Mouth of Sauron: SMILES! "BLING" :grin:

Vanessa: Orbit Gum... For A Good Clean Feeling, No Matter What!

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL

Merry: You're taller!
Pippin: Hm? Than what?
Merry: Than ME!
Pippin: Than I!
Merry: Than ME!!!
Pippin: No, Merry! That's a grammatical error! You mean 'Taller than I'!
Merry: What?? That's not the point!--
Pippin: Nonsense! Grammer is VERY important!
Merry: PIP!! I'm telling you! You grew taller!
Pippin: 'Taller than me is'? That sounds stupid.
Merry: You're NOT listening to me!
Pippin: I don't think there is anything in life more wonderful than grammar.
Merry: Yeah? Well, I'll take your dessert next time we have some.
Pippin: HEY!!!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

lol Those were awesome!! haha Keep up the good work :thumbs:

[BelovedCaptain]

hehe.. No matter what!!
That oughta be a commercial for that gum!! lol

And yeah! Grammar is VERY important, Merry! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Gimli: What is this stuff??
Legolas: Lembas.
Gimli: Is that some sort of a crushed fish??
Legolas: No...it's whey bread.
Gimli: So that makes it what??
Legolas: Delicious.
Aragorn: Unless you eat it for too long.
Legolas: What are you saying??
Aragorn: Arwen wants meat....
Gimli: Finally a girl with some taste....buds. Taste buds.
Legolas: Do I look insulted??
Gimli: Uh....*looks over* Yep.
Legolas: Good...because I am.
Aragorn: That's a shame....*looks at Gimli* Steak??
Gimli: It's on me.
*Aragorn and Gimli run off from Legolas*

[BelovedCaptain]

Yum, steak! lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

Boromir: ...that we must suffer over so small a thing.. such a little thing..
Aragorn: Boromir!!
Boromir: *Starts* Eeauggh... nowanna go on a helicopter again.. oh, oh yeah, the Ring, uh..
Aragorn: Give it back to Frodo.
Boromir: Yeah sure.. I care not. Uh, Merry and Pippin, what are you playing with?
Pippin: Look Boromir! Elrond gave us some toy helicopters! They're fun to play with!
Merry: *Makes wind and helicopter noises* And then it enters into a turbulent gust of wind, it can't be controlled, it's turning in circles, it's gonna CRASH!!
Boromir: Ugh.. *Turns green and ducks somewhere to hurl*

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: rofl Oh man...making fun of a man's fear....it really is fun. So mean...but so fun.

Gandalf: (singing) I'm singing in the rain...just singing in the rain...oh what a feeling...I'm happy again.
Frodo: Is that what you sang on top of Orthanc??
Gandalf: No...I didn't have my umbrella then.
Frodo: Oh.....uh..wait, you need your umbrella to sing in the rain??
Gandalf: Yes...because then I can be in the rain and not get wet. Duh.
Frodo: Well when you put it that way...why not have your water and drink it too.
Gandalf: EXACTLY!!! *sings again*

[BelovedCaptain]

*giggles* Oh man. You guys are the best! roflmao

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Legolas: What was that???
Aragorn: A shadow...
Legolas: A shadow of what??
Gandalf: A mutt.
Legolas: What's a mutt??
Gandalf: A mixed breed...something that is of one kind and of another.
Legolas: Oh...you mean like Aragorn?
Aragorn: If you want to put it that way....*holds up fists*
Legolas: Hmmmmm...okay, but what kind of mixed breed was that??
Gandalf: That my friend...is what they call a dog. A black dog.
Legolas: How did it become a mutt??
Aragorn: Because we don't know where it originally came from.

[Frodo's Pearl]

Those two were GREAT! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Now here's random....

Frodo: Knock, knock...
Pippin: Whoooo's there??
Frodo: BOO!!
Sam: BOO Whoooooo??
Merry: Awe Sam, don't cry....it's only a joke.
Sam: GRRRRRRR!!!

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL, that's so cute. :D

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Completely random...if you asked me where it came from...I coudn't tell you.

Aragorn: What is that??
Sam: A raddish...ain't you ever seen a raddish??
Aragorn: The only raddish I've seen made me itch...
Legolas: Aragorn...that's called a RASH. Not a raddish.
Aragorn: What's the difference??
Frodo: Did you ever lick the rash??
Aragorn: No....
Pippin: That's the difference. Rashes aren't edible...but raddishes are!!!!

[Frodo's Pearl]

lol

Frodo: Note to self: STOP volunteering!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

That's definitely a note he should keep with him...OOoo!!! *is inspired*

Aragorn: What are you doing??
Frodo: I'm getting a.....tattoo!!!
Legolas: What's a ta...ttooo??
Frodo: It's a very effective and permanent thought put into your skin.
Aragorn: But don't thoughts change??
Frodo: Not life changing thoughts....
Legolas: What does it say??
Frodo: Note to Self: STOP Volunteering!!
Aragorn: Why does it say that??
Frodo: What kind of predicament are we in Aragorn?
Aragorn: Ahhh...I see. lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

Right!! lol That was brilliant! ;)

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Elrond: It's a strange thing...electricity.
*Elrond sees Merry and Pippin doing something*
Elrond: What are you doing??
Merry: We're changing the lightbulb!!
Elrond: It takes 2 people to change a lightbulb?
Pippin: Yep of course. One to hold the ladder and the extra light bulbs and one to do the switch.
Elrond: But what if you can reach them?
Merry: Then you don't know how to have fun!!
Pippin: Yeah...work is so much better in twos.

[Fingolfin]

In side of Mount Doom... After the one ring has been cut from Saurons hand...

Elrond: Isildur.. CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!!!!
Isildur: Okay.... Nothing but a broken airloom...
Elrond: Dude.. Your not supposed to say that!
Isildur: What?
Elrond: Just walk away.... GEEEEESE!!! MEN!!! OY!

[Frodo's Pearl]

Those were hits. :D

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

~In Edoras~

*Theoden makes his speech*
Gimli: I say we have a drink off!!
Eomer: I think that's a great idea...who's all in???
*Gimli jumps onto the table*
Gimli: ATTENTION ALL!!! EXCUSE ME!!
Legolas: Everyone's listening...can't you hear the crickets??
Gimli: *groans* WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN US IN A DRINK OFF???
Legolas: Is that a game?
*almost all the men rush to the table immediately*
Gimli: HAHAHA!! Yes, little elf...it is. The last one standing wins.
Legolas: You're on!!!
*Theoden walks up beside Aragorn who stands away from the table*
Theoden: And here I thought they were more mature...
Aragorn: Let them have their fun...they've earned it. After all that fighting.
Theoden: I guess you're right. But do they have to act like such animals??
Aragorn: Of course they do. They've been locked up like animals all night. Fearing for their very lives.
Gimli: HEY!! ARE YOU GUYS JOINING IN???
*Gandalf runs past Theoden and Aragorn*
Gandalf: I AM!!! MAKE ROOM FOR ME!!!
Theoden: Now what do you say about that one???
Aragorn: He always was a little different.
Gimli: Oh come on already you two...you're conversing like an old married couple.
Theoden: Is that supposed to bother us??
Gimli: Doesn't it??
Aragorn: No....but if you must know...a comment like that is rather amusing to us. lol

[Fingolfin]

Pippin and Merry...

Merry: Hey.... Were are you going...
Pippin: I just need to see it..(Palantir in a sleeping Gandalfs arm..)
Merry: Just leave it alone....
Pippin: Dude come look at this... Gandalf sleeps with his eyes open HAHAHAHA!
Merry: No Way! He does!
Pippin: Theres only one way we will know for sure if he is sleeping or not....
Pippin: I'M GOING TO MOON HIM!
Merry: Dude No... Laughing histerically.... lol
Gandalf: HHHRRRMMMRRRMMMM.... What.. Whats going on....
Pippin: Rolling on the floor lauging histerically....
Merry: Gandalf! Pippin and I are just having some fun....
Gandalf: Go to bed before I turn you into something un-natural.... (Climbs back in bed, rolls over and pulls up the covers...)
Merry to Pippin: OMG Dude that was so Funny...
Pippin: Yeah I couldn't stop laughing... However.. This new gandalf is crankier than the old one....
Merry: Yeah... Laughing histerically again.... lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

That was sooo great! *Rolls on floor with Pip, laughing* :lmao:

[Fingolfin]

LOL You know I just kinda rolled with that one.... lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I love your style Fingolfin. It's great. haha

~Sitting On the Rubble~
Merry: Wow...feel the fresh air.
Pippin: *holding his nose* What fresh air??
Merry: The fresh air that surrounds us....*sighs*
Pippin: The air tastes awful. Who knew that smoke did that?
Merry: Yeah...dang it...all that smoke.
Pippin: What shall we do about it??
Merry: Create our own "fresh" air....hahaha
Pippin: Good idea....*starts passing gas*
Merry: Now you're getting the idea...*releases some more gas*
Pippin: What did you eat??? *holds nose again*
Merry: Oh nothing special.
Pippin: That was the fresh air you were talking about???
Merry: Yup.

[Fingolfin]

HAHAHAHA TO MUCH LAMBA'S!!!!! lol Good One!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

It's funny how bodily gas can still amuse us. haha

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: Those were all great.

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Pippin: Did you see THAT???
Merry: See what??
*Pippin points out into the distance*
Pippin: Wait for it...wait for it....
*a small speck rises in the distance*
Pippin: THAT!!!
Merry: I don't see anything. Are you sure it's not just your imagination???
Pippin: Yep. It's getting closer.
Merry: What does it look like??
Pippin: A GIANT EVIL RABID BUNNY!!!
Merry: A what?? If it's so giant...how come I can't see it?
*Pippin takes Merry's head and points it into the right direction*
Merry: That's not a giant bunny....
Pippin: YES IT IS!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! IT'S COMING TO GET US!!!
Merry: Seriously...it's just a little bunny.
*Pippin runs away*
*a giant shadow casts itself upon Merry from behind as he watches Pippin run away*
Merry: Wow...that's an awfully big shadow....must be a cloud.
From behind: SQUEEEK!!!
*Merry turns around*
Merry: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! GIANT EVIL BUNNY!!!!
*Merry runs away*

[Fingolfin]

Gimli gets ready to blow the horn at Helms Deep....

Gimli takes a deeeeep breath, puts his lips up to the horn and start to blow...

BBBLLLRRRRRRRRAAAPPPPPPPP....

Lets out a big fart!

Puts his hands up to his lips... Opps...

Aragorn: What was that???
Theoden: Don't know???
Aragorn: Sounds like somebody stepped on a Toad!

Gimli laughing way to hard... I can't blow this horn!!! HAHAHAHAHA This will make a good story to tell in Theodens Hall.... HAHAHAHA

Blows the Horn!!!!

[Frodo's Pearl]

Saruman: Save your pity and your mercy: I have no use for it! *Sends down fire ball*
Gandalf: *Tsk* That was lame. I mean, like, really; I've seen hobbits do that better than you do.
Saruman: *Whines* Oh shut up!
Gandalf: Like, what was that, Saruman? What's that gonna do? Here, I'll show you how to do it. *Sends up massive fire ball towards Saruman, whose hem catches fire*
Saruman: Eek! EEK! Fire! Fire! *Slaps at fire*
Gandalf: You LAMEBRAIN! There you go again! Don't you remember that the first thing you learn is stop, drop, and roll? Honestly, I don't know why the Valar decided to send you.

[BelovedCaptain]

*In the middle of a conference between Denethor, Faramir and Gandalf*

Pippin: *thinking* Gosh, I am sooo bored! I hate it when there's nothing to do... I could just scream....

*a few minutes later*

Pippin: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Faramir and Gandalf are on the floor, Denethor has food all over his face*

Pippin: Much better...

[Elfdaughter]

Hehehe!

Hmmm...

Sam: Mr Frodo! Mr Ring!
Frodo, looking at Sam blankly: Mr Ring?
Sam: You see, to me everything's 'mr'. Mr Ring. Mr Frodo. Mr what-in-the-world-is-THAT??
Frodo: What? Where?
*Sam grabs the ring from Frodo's hand and runs away gleefuly*

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

It's good to see you around again ED. Good job you guys....those were great. lol

[Fingolfin]

Boromir: "They've got a cave troll....

Boromir: RUN!!!!!

The rest of the fellowship: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!

Aragorn: WAIT JUST A SECOND!!!! It's just Gollum!!! Hey buddy...


Gandalf: MESS'IN WITH SASQUATCH!!!


LMAO!!! lol

I'm so off the wall!!!! :blink:

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: These are all soo funny! :grin:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I second that notion. lol

[Fingolfin]

Feanor to Morgoth...

Feanor: Hear ya go.. Take these beautiful gems I made.. They're called the silmarils...

Morgoth: Are you sure?

Feanor: Yeah... No problem...

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Oh yeah...I could definitely see that happening. Hahaha. Good job. You've just inspired me though.

Morgoth: So who's running this show?? Me or you??
Sauron: That would be you, my great Lord of Darkness.
Morgoth: That's right. And don't you ever forget it.
Sauron: Oh I won't...but I might think better of myself one day.
Morgoth: And what is that supposed to mean??
Sauron: That you're going to see how strong I truly am.
*Morgoth pokes Sauron*
*Sauron falls over*
Morgoth: Yep....you're strong alright.

[Nibinaraniel]

Galadriel: you know what, Frodo? Keep your stupid ring.... I don't need it...

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

~At the Green Dragon~
Merry: I think I need some more ale.
Pippin: Oh dude...that's a great idea.
Sam: I disagree...I think you need less.
Merry: You know what Sam?? You're right...I think we need more pipeweed.
Pippin: Ooo, that sounds good too.
Frodo: That's an even worst idea!! You're already glazed.
Merry: Are we??
Pippin: Oooo, glazed sounds tasty....now I'm hungry.
Merry: I say we have some chicken...
Pippin: No way dude, I say we have some STEAK!!!
Sam: I think you should have some potatoes...
Pippin: Yeah...with our steak...hey Sam?? Could you make us a tasty dinner??
Sam: No!!
Merry: Please?? We'd love you forever!!!
Sam: I'm glad my cooking will make you love me....
Frodo: I love you without you having to cook for me.
Sam: Thanks Frodo.
Pippin: That's okay, you don't have to cook us Sam...we'll love you regardless.
Sam: Great....I'm glad to hear that.
Merry: You should be....it's not everyone that we tell that too.

[Fingolfin]

Gandalf sitting back with Bilbo smoking pipe weed....

Gandalf: This is some good weed!
Bilbo: I know.... Best weed in the south farthing...
Gandalf: Everything is sooooo green!
Bibo: Sure is...
Gandalf: I bet if we could get Sarumon to try this he would loosen up!
Bilbo: You're so right Dude!!
Gandalf: I love you man!
Bilbo: I love you too! HAHAHAHAHA!! You so goofy when you smoke this stuff..
Gandalf: Love it!
Bilbo: Dude! I'm getting hungry!
Gandalf: Me too! Dang! lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

lol That was a riot.

[BelovedCaptain]

hehe, everyone loves Sam. lol

Hmm, could anything looses Saruman up??? lol

[Fingolfin]

Sarumon after he is stabbed by Grima...

Sarumon falling off of Isengard...

I'M FREEEEE!!! FREE FALLING!!! Illuvartar! I LOVE TOM PETTY!!

"SPLAT!"

lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

That was interesting....:lmao: Who knew that Saruman knew how to love....:lmao:

[Fingolfin]

Frodo to Sam...

Come on Sam you can do it!! I'll meet you on the other side!!! Just doggie paddle!!!

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL, that's cute. lol

[Fingolfin]

Boromir going over the Falls of Rauros...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! !!!!! YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

Cowabunga!!!! LOL roflmao

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Fingolfin, you're the best.

~Faramir stumbling across Boromir's boat~
Faramir: What is this???
*Faramir walks up to the boat*
Faramir: Oh my....BROTHER!!!
*Boromir looks dead*
Faramir: Noo...no, no. What am I going to tell father...*sobs*
Boromir: BOO!!
Faramir: AHHHH!!!
*Faramir runs away screaming*
Boromir: And they say I run like a sissy little girl. HA!!!

[Elfdaughter]

Gandalf: Look, just because it's a single eye covered in flame with hordes of monstrous Orcs and Uruk-Hai under its control doesn't mean it's a bad person. What we've got to do is get it round a table and put together a solution package - perhaps over tea and biscuits.

[Fingolfin]

HAHAHAHA!!! Those were both good!!! lol

Gandalf to the fellowship in Moria...

Gandalf: I don't have any memory of this place...
Merry: Are you Lost?
Gandalf: NO! I just don't remember!
Gandalf: AH! It's this way!
Merry: Why is it that way???
Gandalf: Because that way smells like... Well you know..
Merry: Yeah that does smell like... Well yeah... POOP!
Gandalf: When in doubt follow your nose!
Merry to Pippen: Yeah who wouldn't be able to follow his nose it's Ginormous!
Pippen: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Elfdaughter]

*Falls over laughing* Nice one, Fin!

OK....*thinks...*

Arwen: It is time. Reforge the sword.
Elrond: Say you're wrong?
Arwen: Ada, I'll stake my reputation on it.
Elrond: Arwen, you haven't got a reputation.
Arwen: No, but I'm hoping to acquire one from this escapade.

[Fingolfin]

Sam, Merry and Pippen on the ferry...

The guys: COME ON FRODO RUUUUUUN!!!!
Sam: Okay guys pull a little harder.. Let see how far he can jump...
Merry and Pippen: Snickering... Trying to hold their laughs in.
Frodo: AAAAHAHHHHHHHAAAAHHHH
The guys: Come on! Run!!!! Now JUMP!!!!!
Frodo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Frodo: SPLASH!!!!!
The guys: Sam holds up a 10, Merry: 9 Pippen: 8.5

Sam to Frodo: I thought you had it man... Nice Try....
Merry and Pipen: ROTF!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

:grin:lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

HEY! That's mean! Oh dear. lol

[Fingolfin]

Me being mean??? LOL Never! lol:p

The Ferry scene (Take 2)

Frodo climbs on to the ferry (soaking wet mind you)

Frodo: Hey Sam! What's that? (Points behind Sam)
Sam: What? Turns and looks...
Frodo: Give Sam a little push...
Sam: Falls in the Brandywine... (SPLASH!!!)
Frodo: The water is kinda cold eh?
Merry and Pippen: Just Laughing their butts off!
Sam: Don't worry you two Homo's your going to get yours!!!
Frodo: You know... I wanna hear about Samwise the Wet? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

Pshh... that was great, lol

[Elfdaughter]

So mean, but so funny!

[Fingolfin]

The fellowship in the entrance to Moria....

Boromir.. This is not a mine... It's a tomb....
Gimli.. Neah.. These guys are just dead drunk! HAHAHA!!! Just kidding...
Gandalf... Nice Gimli!
Aragorn, Legolas, and the hobbits... ROTFLTAO!!! :lmao:

Wait... Wait.... Did it make you laugh... yeah I knew it would! HAHAHAHA!

lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I'd say it made me laugh...but that would be lying. And that wouldn't be very nice either.

~Pointing out Mithril~
Gandalf: Look Frodo...*points staff down the gorge*
Frodo: What is it??
Pippin: Diamonds!!! We should go and get some.
Gimli: Not so fast little impersonator...that is not diamonds. That's mithril.
Merry: Mithril huh?? I think that's the proper way to spell diamonds.
Legolas: How do you figure that?? It's a jewel.
Merry: And when I holds a diamond...I gets a me thrill.
Gandalf: *sighs* Oh brother...anyways, Bilbo had a shirt made of mithril. I never told him its true worth.
Gimli: That was a kingly gift....
Pippin: It wouldn't be if you let us take some of those diamonds.

[Fingolfin]

CM4F... HAHAHAH!! It's called sick Humor! lol (I'm sure someone will laugh!)

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I never said that I didn't find it amusing. I just said it didn't make me laugh.

[Fingolfin]

Oh well... I guess I will have to try something else....

Bilbo Baggins:

"It's a dangerous business Frodo going out your door.. If you don't keep your feet you might trip and fall in a mud puddle and have to take bath... Uhhemmm..... That just doesn't sound right.... Hmmmm... I gotta figure this one out before I give Frodo advice.... lol

[Elfdaughter]

That's given me an idea...

Gollum: It's ours, precious, it is...umm...*heaves a sigh* LINE??
Frodo: Get your lines right, Gollum, there's a bag of fish in it for you....

[Elf Girl]

My brother and I's randomness... (Beware! lol)

Pippin: Mmmpgh!!! *hair and ears are barely visible above an ocean of cloth*
Galadriel: What?
Pippin: *wiggles out of cloak frantically* Um, this cloak's a little big...
Boromir: *glares* What do you mean by this?!? *is wearing a handkerchief-sized scrap of greyish fabric*
Galadriel: Ooops! *blushes*
Celeborn: I think we got them mixed up...

[BryonsBoas]

Frodo - Sam , do you think I'd be cuter if I shaved my feet?

[Elfdaughter]

*Giggles* nice one, EG!

BB - Hehe!

Boromir: "Come on Frodo, you're not doing anything I wouldn't do!"
Frodo: "What? You'd sacrifice your life for the sake of Middle-Earth?"
Boromir: "No, I'd sacrifice YOUR life for the sake of Middle-Earth...."

[Frodo's Pearl]

What is this? Be mean to Frodo month?! :P

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I'll be nice to Frodo....*hugs Frodo*

Arwen: You have my heart.
Aragorn: Oh, sorry, did you want it back??
Arwen: No...I gave it to you.
Aragorn: Oh...your dad calls you cold sometimes.
Arwen: He's jealous.
Aragorn: Because I have your heart and he doesn't??
Arwen: Yeah...he wants it.
Aragorn: Should I give it to him??
Arwen: NO!!!! He will live without it.

[Elfdaughter]

Now that's being mean to Elrond! ;)

[Fingolfin]

FP.. I don't think this is being mean to Frodo Month... LOL Okay well maybe... HAHAHAH lol

Gandalf arrives in the Shire for Bilbo's Party...

Frodo: Your Late!
Gandalf: No Frodo Baggins a Wizard is never late he arrives precisely when he means to!
Frodo: Goes to jump on the cart.. (Gandalf pulls the cart forward a little bit...)
Frodo: Hey! Why did you do that?
Gandalf: I'm sorry buddy.. Come on!
Frodo: Catches up to the cart... (Gandalf pulls the cart forward again..)
Frodo: HEY!!!
Gandalf: LAUGHING! I'm sorry... Couldn't help myself! It's just I saw this TV commercial and there were these guys in a car messing with sasquach.... OMG! It was funny...
Frodo: HA! Yeah I just did that to Merry and Pippen the other day!! HAHAHAHA!!!!

[Elfdaughter]

Shelob: Thanks, Gollum, but I'm on a diet.

Balrog: (Blocking the bridge) That'll be 5 quid (uk pounds), please.

Arwen to the Nazgul: That's right folks! For the incredible low, low price of just £19.95, you can have this wonderful little hobbit! And, if you call within the next 5 minutes, we'll throw in this ring of world domination AT NO CHARGE!

Treebeard: Yes! I've won the 100 meter dash!

[Frodo's Pearl]

Heheh, those were some great little ones, ED! But-- HEY!! Being mean to Frodo again, are we?? >: (

[Elfdaughter]

Hehe! Sorry, FP! OK, let's be mean to Aragorn instead....

Gandalf: The Balrog and I fell into darkness. I wanted to shout 'To be continued!' but instead I said, 'Fly, you fools!'

Aragorn: Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth?!
Boromir: Man, nobody understands the word comin' out of your mouth!

Arwen: "Aragorn, I'm afraid that while you were away saving the world, Glorfindel and I realized that we have so much in common and, well...You didn't think you and I would make it as a couple through the end of this Age? Oh you did? That's sweet."

Eowyn: "You mean that geek is the heir to the throne of Men?"

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL! Those were a scream. 'To be continued' would have been very enlightening, wouldn't it? lol

[Fingolfin]

Sam to Aragorn at the mines of Moria....

MY PONY IS GOING WITH ME!!!!! :angry: :grin:lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL!

Merry: Can't say that I have seen any Entwives. You, Pip?
Pippin: Well Merry... I've never told you about this, but it now comes to my mind that one time I was walking in the Shire, when I suddenly saw this lovely tree, except it was alive, and moving! And as I walked up to it...

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Saruman: Wormtongue!! Fetch my slippers.
Wormtongue: Yes master....
*Wormtongue fetches Saruman's slippers*
Saruman: Wormtongue!! Get me a glass of water!!
Wormtongue: Yes master....
*Wormtongue fetches Saruman a glass of water*
Saruman: WORMTONGUE!!! Fetch me a pillow.
Wormtongue: Yes master....
*Wormtongue throws a giant pillow shaped like a heart at Saruman*
Saruman: WORMTONGUE!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS???
Wormtongue: A pillow. You said fetch you A pillow...not YOUR pillow.
Saruman: I'll show you a pillow!!!
*Saruman chases Wormtongue out of the tower*

[Elfdaughter]

Saruman: You cannot leave.
Gandalf: SLUMBER PARTY!!!!

Boromir: (Licks his finger, touches Aragorn) Let’s get you outta those wet clothes!

Arwen: If you expect me to sit here sewing a bleedin' banner while you go gallivantin' off with yer mates you've another think coming, Estel. There are plenty more fish in the sea, you know.

Gwaihir to Gandalf: Good grief. Are you all right?
Gandalf: Feeling a bit...weak...that Balrog sure was a tough cookie...
Gwaihir: Do you have the strength to lift your hand?
Gandalf: Just....about...yes....
*Gandalf raises hand*
Gwaihir: Now shout 'TAXI!'
*flies off*

[Elf Girl]

Gwaihir to Gandalf: Good grief. Are you all right?
Gandalf: Feeling a bit...weak...that Balrog sure was a tough cookie...
Gwaihir: Do you have the strength to lift your hand?
Gandalf: Just....about...yes....
*Gandalf raises hand*
Gwaihir: Now shout 'TAXI!'
*flies off*It would have to be an air taxi... like in SW. lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I liked those ED. Good to see you reaching beyond again. haha Those were great. lol

[Elfdaughter]

Hehe! You're welcome!

Frodo: Aragorn, why did you volunteer to come with me to Mordor?
Aragorn: Anything's better than staying in Rivendell with Arwen talking about "our relationship"

Legolas at Helm's Deep: *singing* Everybody was Kung-fu fighting! HUH! *stabs Orc* Those Orcs were fast as lightning! HUH! *stabs Orc* It was little bit frightning...(etc)

Sauron: Mouth, that is as ridiculous as that idea you had that they might send a couple of hobbits through Cirith Ungol to chuck the Ring into the Sammath Naur. Now go and prepare my ceremonial tutu.

Eomer: OK, so he got Arwen, Faramir gor Eowyn, and I have....I have....hey! I demand a re-write!

Aragorn: Oathbreakers, why have ye come?
Random oathbreaker: We were wondering: could we have a cup of sugar? We've run out.

Legolas: I know what you're thinking: did I fire six arrows or only five?

[Frodo's Pearl]

HA! Those were awesome, esp. the Eomer one and the Sauron one. :D

[Fingolfin]

Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Not really... Should I be???
Aragorn: Not frightened! I know what hunts you.
Frodo: What do you want?
Aragorn: A little more Ale with some soda bread from the tavern.. Then Maybe you can tell me what your carrying...
Frodo: I carry nothing. Except my cloak, a couple of loafs of and....
Aragorn: Indeed. I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear I would have to take a bath get a make over you know the whole cross dressing thing...

lol

[BelovedCaptain]

:lmao: Kung Fu! WoooT!!!!! roflmao

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

That was awesome Fingolfin.

Aragorn: TO THE SHIPS!!!
Legolas: Uh...that's a horse...
Aragorn: But he will take us to the SHIPS!!!
Gimli: Why do we need ships??
Aragorn: So you can fly on water!!!
*Aragorn spreads his arms like a bird*
Legolas: I think he's lost it....
Gimli: Lost what?? He can't lose something he's never had....
Legolas: True enough...but he did have a sane mind once....
Aragorn: *in the distance* Feel the wind on your face...and in your hair....
Gimli: Now what do you think???
Legolas: I just told you...he lost it.

[Fingolfin]

Thanks CM4F! LOL Just trying to keep it funny! ;)

PIPPIN: I feel... I feel like I'm back at on that Orcs back after a long days run....
MERRY: Only, you never had the grog!

MERRY: Have some more longbottom PIP! lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I think they call that irony. :lmao:

Gimli: I will die before I see the ring in the hands of an Elf!!!
*Elrond sighs, rolls his eyes, stands up and picks up the ring*
Elrond: Are you dead yet???
Gimli: Minus you Master Elrond.
Elrond: I am an Elf.
Gimli: I meant woodland folk.
Legolas: Just you wait...you will regret ever saying that.
Gimli: Oh will i???
Legolas: Yeah...you WILL!!!
*later on...Gimli meets Lady Galadriel*
Gimli: It is enough to look upon the face of the fairest of all woodland elves.
Legolas: *whispering* What if the ring were in HER hands??
Gimli: *blushes* FINE!!! I TAKE IT BACK!!!
Legolas: HA!! I told you, you would. *skips off*

[Fingolfin]

LOL CM4F!! I can just picture Legolas skipping off all smug... HAHAHAHA!!!

Gimli: Oh come on, we can take 'em.
Aragorn: It's a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.
[pauses, looks up at Aragorn]
Gimli: Don't tell the elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.

Aragorn: Tries to pick up Gimli.... Dude, you're heavy.... Tries to throw Gimli..
Aragorn: This isn't going to work... We have to make you lighter...
Gimli: What's that crazy look in your eyes laddy???
Aragorn: Oh nothing....

Suddenly you see a Dwarf flying thru the air.. But wait... There is something different....

It's a BALD Dwarf!!!

Aragorn: Sorry Gimli it had to be done!

All the Orcs start falling off the causeway because they are laughing so hard...

Gimli yelling... It was deliberate! It was deliberate!!

[Arwen~Undómiel]

LOL...lol

Aragorn falling off the cliff: I believe I can fly!!!!!

Aragorn: This is a dream...
Arwen: Then it is a good dream...
Arwen takes off her dress....LOL

[Fingolfin]

At the council of Elrond...

Gandalf: [speaking the words engraved on the Ring] Ash Nazg Durbatuluk, Ash Nazg Gimbatul, Ash Nazg Thrakatuluk, Agh Burzum-ishi Krimpatul.
[the light darkens and the air rumbles; Boromir backs away from the Ring]


Elrond: O NO YOU DIDN"T.... BOY I SHOULD SLAP YOU SILLY FOR SAYIN DAT!!! Didn't yo mama teach ya anything.... Dang BOOOOOY!!!!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: Yeah...Elrond turning all gangsta. :lmao:

Pippin: Can I have one???
Merry: You already have one....
Pippin: I want a new one. They're shinier.
Merry: But you already have one!!
Sam: I don't think your words are penetrating through his head.
Frodo: Like much of everything else.
Pippin: It's true...wait, what???

[Arwen~Undómiel]

Gollum:Take it off me! I swear to do what you want! I swear!
Frodo: Aren't you supposed to talk weird?? I mean this is just part of your image! You know, it makes you scarier...but everbody feels so much more pity for you then!
Gollum: Well, and what if I don't want to talk like that? Can you even imagine what it's like if people feel pity for you all the time? And if they're scared of you?...I had such a hard childhood, you know...with all those......
Sam: Come on, Mr. Frodo! Did you really have to say that...Now he's just gonna talk about how unloved he was and that he never had a real family..and so on and so on...it's gonna take hours until he gets back to normal now...
Gollum: Have I ever told you how unloved I was??
Sam&Frodo: YES!!!
Gollum: No?? Oh, well then I'm going to tell you now! It all began..........

[Frodo's Pearl]

Ha, that was interesting. :grin:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

hahaha....story time with Gollum. :lmao:

[Fingolfin]

Frodo to Shelob....

Frodo: Hey Shelob!! Follow me outside... I want to introduce you to my lil friend... His name is Gwaihir....

[Arwen~Undómiel]

Aragorn: Why have you come, Éowyn?
Éowyn: Do you nor know?
Aragorn: Umm...No. Can I get a hint??

[Frodo's Pearl]

CUTE, Fin. lol

LOL, arwen!

[Fingolfin]

At the Council of Elrond....

Elrond: Strangers from far away lands, friends of a long time ago in a galaxy far away.. Well not really but you know.. Anyway, you have been summoned here to answer the threat of the big ugly guy over there by those dark mountains with the big cloud over therm. Anyway, Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction, none can escape it unless you are really really fast and I think Elves are the fastest race in middle earth and we couldn't out run it. Okay so here is the deal, either you will unite and let bygons be bygons or you will die because the big ugly will take his big hammer and smash you. Each one of you, yes even you Gimli son of Groin... I mean Gloin...LOL Sorry little fellow couldn't help it... anywho.. is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the ring, Fribble... I mean Frodo.. HAHAHA.. Silly me.. By the way Legolas tell your Father that this is an exceptional batch of wine....

[Arwen~Undómiel]

LMAO!!!!:lmao:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: Oh Fing, you crack me up :lmao:

[Fingolfin]

:grin: I love making you guys laugh!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

We're glad that you like to entertain us. *hugs*

[Arwen~Undómiel]

Frodo and Sam in Shelob's cave:

Frodo: Oh, I'm sorry, m'am...sir...whatever...Could you probably tell us how to get out of here? That would be really nice, because we got lost in here...and...
Sam: Umm...Mr.Frodo...I think we should run away!
Frodo: Oh, Sam, you shoul believe that everybody can be good! Not everybody is evil! I mean just take Gollum as an example: You always told me not to trust him, but I did and now...
Sam: Now he led us into some cave and you're talking to a giant spider...and the giant spider is certainly going to eat us!
Frodo: Sam, don't be that pessimistic! I'm sure if we knew that giant spider, we'd see that she's really nice!
Sam: Umm...Mr.Frodo...the giant spider is...
Frodo: What??
Sam: The giant spider just injected you with poison...I wish for once you'd trust me....

[Fingolfin]

Cute Arwen! lol

[Frodo's Pearl]

I don't know whether I should cry or laugh...
Think I'm going to do both.

[Fingolfin]

At the Falls of Rauros....

Boromir: Hey Aragorn... Check that out... That is one big frog behind that floating log...
Aragorn: WOW! That is.... HEY! I got an idea... FROG LEGS FOR DINNER!!!
Boromir: First one to hit it with a rock wins! KER PLUNK! KER PLUNK!
Aragorn: Dude, who taught you how to throw! KER PLUNK! KER PLUNK!
Boromir: Same person that taught you...

Gollum: They couldn't hit the broad side of a barn could they preciousssss....

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

:lmao: That was awesome..both of you. haha :lmao: Nothing like Boromir and Aragorn to have bad aim. :lmao:

Bilbo: Gandalf old friend, this will be a night to remember.
Gandalf: Are you video taping it??
Bilbo: Almost, I'm turning it into a full blown feature film
Gandalf: Is that why Saruman is here???
Bilbo: Oh yes, he's the director. Quite a genius that one.
Gandalf: Now all you need is Sauron and you're set.
Bilbo: Yes, well I tried to get him. Turns out the elves were borrowing him.
Gandalf: For what???
Bilbo: Their production called A Walk On The Wild Side.
Gandalf: Who's starring in that???
Bilbo: Last I heard...Lord Elrond.
Gandalf: I should bring a pillow to that film then.
Bilbo: That's what Lady Arwen said too. haha

[Fingolfin]

HAHAHAHA!!! lol CM4F... LOL!!!

[Elf Girl]

:lmao:

Here are a few my brother and I came up with... car trips are good for this sort of thing. Most are SW cross-overs, as that's what we just finished watching.

~

Sauron: And the hobbit, have you found him?
Minion: He has... disappeared, my lord.
Sauron: I want that hobbit found!
Minion: M-my lord, it-it's impossible to locate him. He's out of our range.
Sauron: Not for a Black Rider.
[The Witch King appears alongside Sauron]
Sauron: This is my apprentice, The Witch King of Angmar. He will find my lost Ring.


Lurtz: Always a pleasure to meet a Ranger... *gets run through by Aragorn*


Mouth of Sauron at Morannon: Elvish sword or not, you must realize... *tosses Frodo's coat of mithril to them* You are DOOMED!


[as the Fellowship met up with the Black Riders near Rivendell]
Aragorn: Didn't we just leave this party?


[at the council]
Boromir: Um, Gandalf... This is... huge. Mordor... huge. You are all gonna get killed. You know that, right?
Gandalf: Yeah, probably.
Boromir: Well... that would... bother most people.


Denethor: *peering over battlements after a fireball hits Minas Tirith* Stop blowing holes in my citadel!!!


Saruman to Lurtz: I must have It. You must get It. You must go and get It for me...

[Arwen~Undómiel]

LMAO!!!:lmao:

[Frodo's Pearl]

LOL, the Denethor one! lol lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

lol Denethor reminds me of a certain Pirate...:whistle: haha

Boromir: Let us relax and celebrate little brother!!
Faramir: But father wishes me to clean out the public places.
Boromir: And do you see him anywhere??
*Faramir points a little down the way*
Faramir: Right there actually.
Boromir: Well forget it...don't do it. I'll tell him it's covered.
Faramir: I don't think he'll believe you.
*Denethor walks up*
Denethor: And there's my great son, the one who makes me proud. OH, and there's the family rat...shouldn't you be washing something???
Faramir: Yes, sir. I'll get right to it.
*Boromir grabs Faramir by the sleeve*
Boromir: Father, I have the public cleaning covered. No need to worry about it. He's here to celebrate.
Denethor: I think that's part of the problem.
Faramir: Oh Yeah!?!? Well, next time I have to wash things...I won't forget your face!!
Denethor: Well now that you've spat on it...you may clean it.
*Boromir and Faramir look at each other, stick out their tongues and "blow cherries" at Denethor*
*Denethor walks away muttering to himself*
Faramir: That felt good.
Boromir: It sure did...now, for some ale.

[Stormcrow]

Guys, these are absolutely hilarious! You're very clever! I'm almost rolling on the floor laughing! I loved the feature film one, CM! And Elf, those ones you came up with are absolutely awesome! lol

Dare I try and create one after all this time? :o

Sam: "I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise! Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee! And I don't mean to... I don't mean to."
Frodo: "Well, if you're going to be a sook about it all... It never ends with you, does it?"

One more... ;)

Sam: "It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were... Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand... There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for."
Frodo: "How long have you been working on that one?"

[Arwen~Undómiel]

LMAO:lmao:
I can imagine Frodo saying that...lol

[Fingolfin]

lol Good ones!!! LOVED'EM ALL!! HAHAHAHA!!!

[Frodo's Pearl]

At Isengard..
Pippin: *Senses Merry doing something* What are you doing?
Merry: Err... I salute you, Cap'n Pip!

[Fingolfin]

In Moria.....

Boromir: What is this new devilry?

Gandalf: A Big ball of burn gas! A Ball of Gas from the ancient world! This foul stench is beyond any of you! HOLD YOUR NOSE AND RUN!!!!

Merry: Are you sure it just wasn't Gimli?

Pipen: HAHAHAHHA!

Gimli: No.. It wasn't me... Check the elf! HAHAHAHA!

[Stormcrow]

Haha. I like it, Fin! :thumbs:


Also, in Moria...

[Gandalf tweaks arrow in Dwarf skeleton and sets off a loud chain-reaction of noise]
Gandalf: "... My bad?"
Pippin: "Fool of an Istar! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your senility!"

[Fingolfin]

HAHAHAHA!!! Good one Storm! HAHAHA!!!

[Stormcrow]

Thanks, Fin! Glad you like! :grin:

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Crow, oh how I have missed you sense of humour. LMAO!!!! haha

Aragorn: Gentlemen...we do not stop til night.
Pippin: But I'M HUNGRY!!!
Sam: You're always hungry.
Pippin: We haven't had second breakfast.
Aragorn: You had one...how many do you really need??
Merry: Usually we have about 2, then brunch, then lunch, then afternoon tea, dinner, supper and lastly an evening snack or two.
Aragorn: No wonder you guys look like balloons.
Sam: HEY!!! I take an offense to that!!
Aragorn: Keep walking gentlemen.
Pippin: What are you going to do if we don't??
Aragorn: Pick each and every one of you up...and throw you.
Merry: That would hurt....
Aragorn: I'll keep throwing you if you just lay there by the time I get to you too.
Sam: He sure is a beast.
Pippin: *whispers* Ready guys??? AIM!!! FIRE!!!
*all the hobbits throw random apples at Aragorn that showed up out of nowhere*

[Stormcrow]

Hahahaha, yes CM, but my sense of humour pales in comparison to yours! lol You've got the randomness to boot! :grin:

[In Moria]
Frodo: "I wish the ring had never come to me... I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: "It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices."
Frodo: "Umm... that's from Harry Potter."
Gandalf: "It is... ?"
Frodo: "Uhh, yeah... Dumbledore says it to Harry."
Gandalf: "Damn that Dumbledore, he's beaten me to it!!"

[Arwen~Undómiel]

LMAO!! Stormy, yours are just amazing!!

[Stormcrow]

Thank you, dearest Arwen! :p :cuddles:

[After the Fellowship sets off from Rivendell]
Gandalf: "Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride. Nobody's gonna hold me down! Oh, no! I've got to keep on moooooooooviiiiiiiiing!"
[Group casually joins in and Gimli starts breakdancing]

Trying to imagine Gimli breakdancing... lol

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Gimli should try breakdancing on a horse. :lmao:
And you're too kind, but I think my sense of humour is in more of the shadows of yours.

~Council of Elrond~
Elrond: May I have your attention please???
Aragorn: Yes.
Gimli: My what???
Gandalf: A-Ten-shun!!!
Gimli: How do you spell that??
Legolas: I-D-I-O-T.
Gimli: Thanks.
Elrond: GENTLEMEN!!! Please. I have a serious matter to discuss.
Gandalf: What are your 3 wishes???
Boromir: I wish that I had purple hair!!!!
Gandalf: Granted!!
Aragorn: Purple hair?? Of all the things you could wish for...purple hair??
Boromir: Why not?? It's so the fad in Gondor right now.
Aragorn: You guys so need a responsible leader.
Gimli: I wish for a new axe!!
Gandalf: GRANTED!!!
Elrond: I don't think you guys are listening. I WISH FOR SILENCE AND YOU'RE UNDEVIDED ATTENTION!!
Gandalf: Granted!!!
*Everyone shuts up and stares at Elrond, the crickets start to sing*
Elrond: Okay, now that's creepy.
Gandalf: Didn't anyone ever tell you to be careful what you wish for???
*Everyone is still staring at Elrond, while the crickets keep singing*
Elrond: Please make the crickets stop.
Gandalf: Sorry all 3 wishes have been used up.
Elrond: You suck, jerk.
*Gandalf smiles a cheesy wide smile*

[Fingolfin]

Legolas: I love Dwarves.... I wanna hug'em, and squeeze'em and name'em George.....

LOL lol :grin:

[Arwen~Undómiel]

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Umm....No! Do you?

[BelovedCaptain]

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Umm....No! Do you?

Uh oh... Aragorn's in trouuuublllleee... :squinchy:

:lmao: You guys are awesome!