101 things a LotR character would never say

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Yuhuu!

Saruman's ****ed off: "Well are'nt we sweet this morning, guess we must have gotten up on the wrong side.
Orc: All you ever think about is your stupid wars, you're never at home. I'm nothing to you, nothing! You used to bring me breakfast in bed, but nowadays you expect me to do all the work and get nothing in return! You don't love me anymore! WOAAAH!mecry

[Merry Monaghan]

Merry: Moo.
Sam: Why did--?
Pippin: Don't ask. Just don't.

(Saurman the Pink flutters his hand around the palantir mumbling nonsense until an eye with pink eye shadow and over-loaded with mascara pops up)
Saruman: What the--?
Sauron: (in a "menacing" feminine voice) The elf...
Saruman: Come again?
Sauron: The elf!
Saruman: What?
Sauron: THE LEF, FOOL! THE ELF!
Saruman: The... ooooooooh... the one in the Fellowship? Legolas Greenleaf?
Sauron: (giggles) Yes...
Saruman: What about him?
Sauron: Bring him to me.
Saruman: Uuuuuuuh... okaaaaay... why?
Sauron: Saruman... there has been a major change in my life.
Saruman: No kidding.
Sauron: I am no longer Sauron.
Saruman: I'm not hearing this...
Sauron: I am...
Saruman: I think I shall hurl...
Sauron: SALLY LOTSAHAIR!
(THUMP Saruman faints into a twitching ball in the corner)

Pippin: I'm cute aren't I?
Merry: (gives him a strange look) Uh... right... keep telling yourself that.
Pippin: But all the girls think I'm cute.
Merry: So?
Pippin: So I'm cute!
Merry: Is there a point to this?
Pippin: Yeah.
Merry: Well what?
Pippin: I am cute.
Merry: Okaaaaaaay... I'm gonna go walk with Strider...

Gimli: If we cannot go over the mountain, let us go uner it! Let's go through the mines of Moria.
Gandalf: Let's not and say we did.

Sam: Is osmosis a word?
Frodo: Is Sam a retard?

[Tar-Ancalimë]

is sam a retard... roflmao...

lotsahair... where did that come from... lol

cuiel: breakfast in bed?? id like to see that... roflmao

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Ha ha, lotsahair...your'e hiarious!

Breakfast in bed..you'd better believe it's covered in satin sheets, and he probably wears a pink negligé and a lacy garterbelt...;)

[Little Devil]

Cute! :)

[Gatsby]

Frodo: I will take the ring to mordor
Boromir: I'll take bad ideas for 1000 alex...
out
gatsby

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Eomor: "What business does an Elf, a man and a dwarf have in the riddermark? Speak quickly!"
Aragorn: "We track a band of uruk-hias. *Waves hand in front of face, pulling up comp. screen.* "westward across the plains." *Points to moving dot.* "They have taken two of our friends" *Closes window, pulls up an info screen on Merry and Pippin.* "Agents 004 and 003, AKA Merry and Pippin. They were kidnapped about two days a go.”
Eomor: “um… what?”
Legolas: “What agents?”
Aragorn: “You dolt! Don’t you know anything? Elrond sent them out for more than one reason! They are Chaos and Mischief, the best due ever to walk the face of Middle-Earth! The top of the line professionals at causing trouble, no ones better!” *pauses.* “Well, ok. Frodo and Sam can be pretty bad too.


I'll post more later.

[Merry Monaghan]

:roflmao:
I think I started something... :grin:

(Pippin and Merry are sitting in a tiled-floor room in little chairs and they get bored)
Pippin: (taps Merry) Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: I found something out about this chair.
Merry: (raises an eyebrow)
Pippin: *giggle* It... (pushes off of Merry w/ his legs, sliding across the room) SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDES!!!!

(Gandalf hangs helplessly on the edge of the bridge after the balrog whips him)
Gandalf: (small, squeaky voice) Help!
(Pippin grins and trots over to Gandalf and starts tp pry his fingers from the bridge)
Pippin: This little piggy went to market...
Gandalf: Peregrin?
Pippin: *giggle* This little piggy stayed home...
Gandalf: (slides off a bit more) Eeep! What are you doing?
Pippin: (evil cackle) This little piggy had roast beef...
(Merry: (in the background) I'm hungry.)
Gandalf: *whimper* I'm s-sorry for calling you a fool?
Pippin: This little piggy had none...
Gandalf: PER-E-GRIN!!!
Pippin: This little piggy went... (Gandalf falls)
Gandalf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh hhhh!!!!!!!
Pippin: (insane laughter) ALL the way home!!!

Treebeard: (to Merry and Pippin) And what might your names be?
Merry: (a single eyebrow raisd) The name's Chaos...... Captain Chaos.
Treebeard: Uh... huh...
Pippin: And I'm Mishief...... Master Mischief.

(By the by, I might be going to Disneyland this weekend with me best friend, Pippin! Mwahaha!!! I guess you know what that means! *runs around the room* MORE FOOLISH CAPERS!!! BAH HAA HAA HAA!!!)

[Beleglotiel]

(Pippin turns the arrow in the skeleton of the dwarf that sat on the edge of the well. Then the skeleton falls into the well making a loud noise.)
Pippin: Oops I did it again!

[Menelwe]

Eru: Gee this is boring, why, why did I make the elves?
Egad! It's not supposed to sound like that!
Hey! Who's drawn all these extra dots in my Happy Traum Chord
Book?

Aragorn: Arwen Ireally would prefer marrying Eowyn, she could kick your butt on any given day.

Yavanna: Don't you think this silver tree would make great fire wood?

Melkor: I was framed!

Sauron: Who da lord of evil? I da lord of evil!


Note: These are not mine originally, they were takin from other people on a different site.

[Smaug the Smog]

Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: *socks Pippin* "Throw him over the horse and keep going.
Sam: (mutters) It's a pony.

[Beleglotiel]

lol, cute Smaug very cute.

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Well, come to think of it... nope, not at all.
;)

[Lord Raistlin]

lol so cute!!!!! :D

[Eowyn]

I would like to warn all aragorn and Haldir fans. :o

Aranel and I did get bored and decided to take it out on them. :wicked:

See Aranel's posts when she puts them up. also the ones in the pants games :grin:

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Frodo: "I will take the ring to Mordor." *Stunned silence. Frodo begins slowly and dramaticly.* "Though... I will have to use evil tactics to get it there."

[Eowyn]

Legolas and his early career as a rock star. :naughty:

Legolas: "They have been aware of us for a long while. They heard my voice across the Nimrodel.... They have asked me to join their band!"

scary mind what made me think that.

[Aranel]

Erond: We must send the Ring to the fire. Or at least back to the shop for a refund.

[Aranel]

Aragorn: "Hmm, my hair looks a bit grubby. Maybe I should wash it."

Aragorn:"Hmm. I look a bit stubbly. Maybe I should shave."

[Aranel]

Aragorn: "King? I don't want to be King! I won't do it and you can't make me!"
*storms off to room in a huff*
*slams door*

[Aranel]

whoops! missed L out of Elrond. Stupid keyboard...

[Beleglotiel]

Arwen gives her necklace to Aragorn.
Aragorn: You cannot give me this.
Arwen: Well, fine! If you feel that way! I heard Legolas was available so maybe I'll just let him court me!"
Arwen storms off and Aragorn stands there dumbfounded.

[Estel]

Gimli: This beard is a real nuisance. I think I'll shave it off.

:elfqueen:

[Tar-Ancalimë]

Originally posted by Aranel
whoops! missed L out of Elrond. Stupid keyboard... use the "edit" button, right under your post, next to quote ;) you can only edit posts for 15 min after you post, but you were well within that time limit when you posted this :)...

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: Let's hunt some orc!
Gimli: Awwww, do we have to!? *truges on poutingly*

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Aragorn: "Aww, you never want to do what I want! Let's hear your suggestion, then, mister know-it-all!"
Gimli: "Well, I could do with a break after all those noisy orcs. How about we take a time out and swop some stickers? I know Leggy has some great Pokemon's I would love to have in my stickerbook!"

[Elrenia]

In Moria mines:

Sam: Why do dwarves build such high ceilings
Gimly: Because the Hi-Ho song sounds better with echo

Frodo: Someone didn't think of the lightbulb changing, that's for sure!

(got that one on Fraud of the Rings)lol

[Beleglotiel]

Legolas: A lament for Gandalf.
Merry: What do they say about him?
Legolas: What do to care?! Mind your own business!

[Eowyn]

ooooooooohhh grumpy legolas! lol

[Beleglotiel]

Yeah, but i kinda messed it up...
'what do YOU care' not to, my mistake.

Pippin sniffs the air: Ew! What's that smell?!
All the fellowship looks at Sam standing next to Bill the pony.
Sam: Hey, don't look at me! It was the horse! HONEST!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Bill: Hhhiiiiiiarrrrr!
(Steps on Sams foot)
Sam: Ouch! What did you do that for?!!!

[Beleglotiel]

lol

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "I think I'll get a Mowhawk.":)

[Tar-Ancalimë]

roflmao!!! that has gotta be one of the better ones, tj25. i love it!!!!

lol perhaps i should explain that i hate his mohawk :p

[Adunauriel]

I think I read that somewhere.... try this one...

Legolas: "I hate trudging through the snow, I wish I could just walk on top of it.":)

[Estel]

Galadriel looking in her mirror: Oh no, is that a grey hair I see? And a wrinkles????:o

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Hehe.

[Eowyn]

on the way to the grey havens
Galadriel: are we there yet?

[Beleglotiel]

Saruman: Man, why do I have to wear this stupid robe?! It does absolutly nothing for my figure!

[Tar-Ancalimë]

Saruman: ... or this nose!?

[Beleglotiel]

haha! lol, very funny

[Adunauriel]

Aragorn: "You know I'm getting tired of getting these Hobbits out of trouble.":)

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Estel
Galadriel looking in her mirror: Oh no, is that a grey hair I see? And a wrinkles????:o

Galadriel: Thank god noone saw that! Where did I put that bottle of hydrogen pheroxide...?

[Beleglotiel]

Saruman: Ganfalf, you know of what I speak.
Gandalf: The Eye of Saruon.
Saruman: I'm sorry, your answer must be in the form of a question, but thank you for playing!

[Tar-Ancalimë]

lol! thats good... i watch that show all the time ;) im not very good tho :huh:

[Adunauriel]

Originally posted by Beleglotiel
Saruman: Ganfalf, you know of what I speak.
Gandalf: The Eye of Saruon.
Saruman: I'm sorry, your answer must be in the form of a question, but thank you for playing!
roflmao Think I'm gonna die...... just too funny...lol

[Estel]

Merry & Pippin: Mushrooms? No thanks! We HATE mushrooms!

Frodo (trying on the mithril shirt): Does this make me look fat?

[Beleglotiel]

HAHA, very cute.
Gandalf: Let the ringbearer decide.
Frodo: We will go through the mines.
Gandalf: You ARE the weakest link! GOODBYE!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Elrond healing Frodo after he was stabbed by the wrait:

"Lasto beth nin, tolo dan ngn..gn..ngan...buggars, come back to the light you little ..."

[Tar-Ancalimë]

roflmao!!!! that is halarious guys... hehheh "you little" lol!

[Aerandir]

Pippen: Merry
Merry: Yes Pippen
Pippen: I have a question
Merry: Yeah
Pippen: Are you gay?
Merry: why?
Pippen: You said that I was cute
Merry: No I didn't
Pippen: YEs you did
Merry: that was you
Pippen: No it wasn't, I'm not gay
Merry: I never said you were...are you gay?
Pippen: ****!
Merry: Ummmm....bye
Pippen: NO! I'm NOT GAY! HONEST!
Merry: Oh, ok
Pippen: But Legolas is hot
Merry: Bye!
Pippen [Yelling]: AND SO ARE ORCS!

~Aerandir

[Adunauriel]

Galadriel: "I know what it is that you saw.... And you've got a dirty mind...";)

[Beleglotiel]

Okay, that was weird. I never want to see that! lol

Legolas: Crebain from Dunland! No, wait, wait. *squints his eyes* Awwwwwww it's a unicorn riding on a cloud!

[Smaug the Smog]

Same as before.

[Smaug the Smog]

Gandalf: Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!
Pippin: *sniff*
* fellowship turns around *
Pippin: *starts to cry softly*
Aragorn: Gandalf, apologize.
Gandalf: Why? Why would I wanna' apol-
Pippin: *screams* *wails*
Legolas: Oh no, make him stop.
* Boromir runs to door *
Boromir: Gandalf please, they have a cave troll.
Legols: Look Pipin, my knife is glowing. Look, want to hold it. *sings* It has elven runes. It is 2 feet long. Please stop crying. They're gonna' find us. And we're gonna' get in trouble. We're gonna' get killed if you don't stop crying*
* Pippin laughs and grabs knife *
Legolas: Ahh! I've been touched by a hobbit! I have hobbit germs! Get hot water, get disinfectant, get iodine!
* Pippin starts screaming again *
*Boromir bumps into Legolas, who knocks Gimli into the well*
Gimli: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
* Pippin giggles and laughs *
* Balrog roars *
Legolas: What was that?
Aragorn: I have no Idea, but it would be really good, if it didn't happen again.

[Tar-Ancalimë]

roflmao!!! that is halarious!!!!!

[Smaug the Smog]

OK, it's time to move on to 101 more things a LotR character would never say. I have started the thread.

[Tar-Ancalimë]

this thread is doing fine... why'd you do that? its already over 101, there's no point to it really...

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: You shall not pass!!!
BALROG: Hah! Do you know who you're talking to? You're in no posistion to give orders!

[Tar-Ancalimë]

personally i think one thread is just fine for this topic.

[Smaug the Smog]

don't get upset, please.

the other topic is still open, so you can still post there.

[Tar-Ancalimë]

lol im not upset, i promise. ;) i just think we don't need two threads. it is very confusing... esp to me lol

[Eowyn]

ok this is going to get confusing! I'll stick to this thread I think! :huh:

[Eowyn]

Theoden: I would not risk open war
Aragorn: oh yes you will
Gimli: he’s behind you!
*everyone turns to stare at Gimli*
Gimli: oh sorry this isn’t a pantomime

I think we've got about 300 so far! :whoohoo:

[Aerandir]

Frodo: Where are you taking us?
Aragorn: Where do you think I'm taking you too?
Frodo: The wild?
Aragorn: Ummm....NO! More of to the reallly hot elf! Gosh...

~Aerandir

[Beleglotiel]

Smaug, that was soooo funny!

No, I do wanna leave this thread, I like it here.
*sits on the ground and pouts*

Elrond: The ring must be destroyed (whispers, Frodo)
It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the firey chasm from whence it came (whispers, Frodo)
One of you must do this (whispers, Frodo)
Frodo: OKAY, OKAY, I get the hint, I will take the ring to Mordor! JEEZ!

[Smaug the Smog]

2.

Elrond: Bring forthe the Ring, Frodo.
Frodo: * pales* Um..I left it on my table by me bed.
Elrond: Well go get it.
Frodo: It's not that easy.
Elrond: I don't understand.
Frodo: Will you just listen to m-
Elrond: JUST GO UP TO YOUR ROOM AND GET THE THING!
Frodo: I can't.
Elrond: Why not?
Frodo: It's on my table by my bed...................................in Bag End!
Elrond: * thud *

[Smaug the Smog]

Elrond: Bring forthe the Ring, Frodo.
Frodo: * pales* Um..I left it on my table by me bed.
Elrond: Well go get it.
Frodo: It's not that easy.
Elrond: I don't understand.
Frodo: Will you just listen to m-
Elrond: JUST GO UP TO YOUR ROOM AND GET THE THING!
Frodo: I can't.
Elrond: Why not?
Frodo: It's on my table by my bed...................................in Bag End!
Elrond: * thud *

[Adunauriel]

Frodo: "I wish this task had never come to me."
Gandalf: "Well your going to finish it, now that you've gotten the rest of us involved."
Everyone Else: "YEA!!!!"

[Little Devil]

I love all this! roflmao roflmao

[Brindlescruff]

Aragorn: Say, Boromir, you wanna hold onto this ring for a while?

Bilbo: Have you guys seen my baseball?

Gollum: my darling! My daaaaaaaarling!


Bilbo: I want to see panties, again, Gandalf, PANTIES!!!!
Gandalf:..........what?

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "You know living in the forest is murder on my alergies.":sneezy:

[Beleglotiel]

lol You guys are too much!

Gimli stares at himself in the mirror: "Hmmmm"
He runs down the hall to his mother's room grabs 2 things out of her closet and runs back to the mirror. He slips on his mother's high-heels and looks back in the mirror. Gimli looks 2 inches taller.
Gimil: Now that's more like it!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Adunauriel
Legolas: "You know living in the forest is murder on my alergies.":sneezy:

Celeborn: Oh for the love of...will you stop whimpering about your snotty nose! Here, take a zyrtec, I've just been to the farmacist.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Thanks man, I haven't been able to get to the Pharmacist since starting this whole Fellowship thing."

[Beleglotiel]

Gandalf sits on top of Shadowfax.
Gandalf: Come on you stupid horse! Get going! Fly!
Shadowfax: whrrrirr!
Gandalf: Fine, I'll see what I can do about a sculpture built in your name, ALRIGHT!
Shadowfax: Naaaa!
and he speeds off and Gandalf almost loses his hat.

[Beleglotiel]

Hey, where'd everybody go?

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: Sam, I'm glad you're hear with me.
Sam breaks into the LoTR song 'In Dreams'
Sam: When the cold of winter comes.
Frodo: Sam.
Sam: Starless night will cover day.
Frodo: Sam! (plugs his ears)
Sam: In the veiling of the sun.
Frodo: SAM
Sam: We will walk in bitter rain.
Frodo: SAM!!!!
Sam continues to sing.
Frodo: AH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
Frodo pushes Sam off the cliff. Sam falls through the air...still singing.

[Adunauriel]

roflmao lol

[Adunauriel]

sorry.... Let me think.....:mmmm:

Celeborn: "You guys let Gandalf die, and you call yourselves a Fellowship."

[Catz]

Tars right......ive merged these two threads...the original was already well over 101 anyway, and it WAS confusing....
:catz:

[Adunauriel]

Thanks Catz, it was cornfusing (yes I spelled it that way on purpose). I can't think of anything else at the moment, so I'll bounce.:thumbs:

[Lintefaniel]

Gandalf : Bilbo Baggins! Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks, I've never paid for it in my life!:whoohoo:

[Aranel]

How about -
Gandalf: do not take me for a conjuror of cheap tricks - I deliver only high quality tricks at extortionately expensive prices

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Does this Bow make me look fat?"

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Gimli: No, but it makes you back look quite crooked...kinda sideways, if you know what I mean?!

[Gowpon]

Legolas: Ohh shut up you dwarf!pfbbt pfbbt

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Well, you were the one who asked! Maybe if you twisted it a little over to the back, you would at least only look like the humpback of Notre Dame..!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "If you don't quiet down little man, I'm gonna use it to beat you."verymad

[Lintefaniel]

Sam pipes up from nearby: We don't call them little men, they're called dwarves!roflmao

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Sam, I'll give you just the same..."verymad

[Aranel]

Sam: I don't care - as long as you don't hurt Mr Frodo!

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: Down, Fido! I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself, thank you!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Don't worry Sam, I wont hurt the Ring Bearer. We still need him."

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: I bet you do. You'll probably just wait for the right moment when you get a chance to steal the Ring from me!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "I would never do that, I am an Elf of the Highest Honor and Dedication to this escapade..."

[Beleglotiel]

Gimli: (whispers to Frodo) That's what they all say.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "I herd that Dwarf, You don't want me to give you that back of my hand, do you..."

[Beleglotiel]

Gimli: I'd like to see you try, 'Girly-man'.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: " That's just what you want me to do... Well I'm not going to give you the satisfaction..."pfbbt

[Lintefaniel]

Boromir: Will you girls just pipe down? I can't hear the voices in my head!!!lol :p ;)

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Gimli: Thats not our voices, its Galadriel!

[Beleglotiel]

Gimli: AHHH! THE ELF WITCH IS IN HIS HEAD!!!! (Gimli tackles Boromir, and holds out a cross necklace) DEOMONS BE GONE!!!!!!

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Pippin: Behold I am... PEREGRIN THE PATHETIC!!! (considers what he just said) Wait... I used that to make "This!"
*Fellowship strides up hill, one by one reaching the top.*
Gandalf: *First.* "Behold, I am Gandalf the Gray!"
Frodo: *Second.* "I am Frodo the Firm!"
Sam: "I'm Samwise the strong!"
Merry: "I'm Meriadoc the Magnificent!"
Pippin: "I'm Peregrin the Proud!"
Legolas: "I am Leoglas the Loyal!"
Gimli: "I'm Gimli the Great!"
Aragorn: "I am Strider the Stealth!"
Boromir: *Final.* "I'm Boromir the Brainless!"
*Company stares sidelong at Boromir, who considers his statment.*
Boromir: "Wait........"
Frodo: "You disgrace the name of the Company." *Swaggers off.*

[Aerandir]

LOL!

~Aera

[Little Devil]

Ok how bout this version.
Gandalf: I'm Gandlaf the Gay!
Frdo: I'm Frodo the Freak!!
Sam: I'm Sam the Stupid!
Merry: I'm Merry the Moran!
Pippen: I'm Pippen the Puff!
Legolas: I'm Legolas the Loser!
Gimli: I'm Gimli the Geek!
Aragon: I'm Aragon the Annoying!
And last but not least
Boromir: I'm Boromir the Brainless.

[Ithielnor]

lollollollollollol

Just found this thread this afternoon! 24 pages of hysteria.

Keep up the good work:thumbs:

[Adunauriel]

roflmao roflmao roflmao Laughed so much I almost peed my pants.........lol

[Beleglotiel]

Please...don't

[Little Devil]

Yes.....please dont. Though it would be hystrically funny.....lol

[Adunauriel]

Don't worry I cought myself just in time.....lol

[Estel]

Yes, please don't. One "****y legs" is more than enough!

(reference to the actor commentary on the extended DVD, for those who are wondering)

[Lintefaniel]

Oh Estel, don't ruin it for me!! I still haven't seen it!! But don't worry, your right on the peeing part....can get messy. Not to mention stinkiepfbbt

[Eowyn]

I don't think I heard much of the new stuff when we watched it. too busy quoting these and generally laughing at everything. :huh: oh well guess I'll have to watch it again. :grin:

[Estel]

Make sure you also watch it with the actor commentary turned on. Priceless!!!!!

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: Man, I think I really need to shave.

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

*At counsil of Elrond.*
Legolas: "An heir to the throne of Gondor."
Aragorn: "Legolas, shut-up!!" *Slight pause. turns to Boromir.*
"You!"
Boromir: "Ah!!!"
Aragorn: "Are you going to sit down?"
Boromir: "Umm, no-"
Aragorn: "Why aren't you going to sit down!?!?!"
Boromir: "I mean, I mean yes."
Aragorn: "Ah, excellent. Now we can move on with-"
Legolas: "Uh, wait, wait-"
Aragorn: *Thunders.* "Shut-Up!!!" *Long pause as Legolas passes out cold on courtyard floor.* "You may continue, Elrond."

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "You know that Gandalf is just so bossy. I'm thinking about putting an arrow ringht in his behind."

[Beleglotiel]

lol you guys are hilarious!

[Adunauriel]

Thank you....;)

[Beleglotiel]

Legolas: Hey Gimli! I love that colone you're wearing, is it new?
Gimli: Yeah, it's called Wild Man. Drives the girls nuts. And Legolas, your hair looks remarkably well today.
Legolas: Really? Maybe it's because I brushed it 2,000 times instead of the usual thousand. *shrugs*

[Lintefaniel]

Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood, what's the password? or
You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood, did you bring the dip?
lol lol lol roflmao lol lol lol

[Bright Shadow]

Sam: good luck Frodo!
Frodo: you sure you dont want to come?
Sam: do I look stupid to you?.. *pauses* DONT ANSWER THAT!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Lintefaniel
Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood, what's the password? or
You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood, did you bring the dip?
lol lol lol roflmao lol lol lol

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao THE DIP I'm dying!!!!

[Adunauriel]

Haldir: You have entered the realm of The Lady of the Wood. That'll be $5.

Legolas: All I've got is a $20, can you break that?

[Aranel]

Haldir: No, but I can throw in a new bow and some lembas

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Never mind then... You guys got some cash?"

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: Do you take checks?

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Haldir: No, no checks.
Legolas;whispers to Aragorn: My Visa has expired. Do you suppose he's online?
Aragorn;whispers back: Out here? Not in a million years, go for it!

[Ithielnor]

Legolas: Here's my visa?
Haldir: Sorry, we don't accept visa!
Gimli: Darn it! just give'im the 20!

[Smaug the Smog]

Originally posted by Beleglotiel
Aragorn: Do you take checks?

Halidir: Yes, but there is a 10-day wait to make sure it doesn't bounce.

[Aerandir]

Halidar: I need to see some I.D.
Aragorn: Hold that thought....

~Aera

[Adunauriel]

Frodo: "If you guys would listen to us hobbits. We've been trying to tell you that we've got the $5."

Pippin: "Here you go Haldir." *hands him the money.

Haldir: "Thanks little fellow. Now you may pass through the realm of the Lady of the Wood."

Gimli: "There isn't a toll on the way out is there?"

Haldir: "No"

[Aerandir]

lol roflmao lol roflmao

~Aera

[Beleglotiel]

lol very funny lol

[Lintefaniel]

roflmao!!
Haldir singing to himself: I Talk to the Trees.......(paint your wagon reference there)

[Beleglotiel]

Gimli looks at the mithril Frodo is wearing
Gimli: If you want to get me something for Christmas, get me one of those! oooooo! Shiny!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Frodo: Well if you loose some weight, I might consider giving you mine when this whole thing is over...I suppose I could put it in my will or something.

Gimli: Is there a lawyer in the forrest?!!! And preferably a gym with a dietexpert!

[Beleglotiel]

lol

[Lady Melody]

Legolas staring at one of the elfmaidens who runs around in the woods of Lorien.
"Look Gimli, that one actually got mud on her face. I have never seen an elfmaiden with mud on her face before!"

Pretty lame, I know... but what the heck... =)

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Gimli: Actually I don't think its mud, it looks more like a nasty birthmark!

[Beleglotiel]

Legolas: Yeah, well, what do you know.

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Gimli: Considering which rase you and I belong to, I should think my knowledge about discoloured skin is bigger than yours. Or perhaps we're all mislead, and ya'll go through a thorough make-up job before you show your faces in the morning?

[Ithielnor]

lol gimli better duck! lol

[Adunauriel]

Legolas looks astonished "Shhhh Gimli, don't tell anyone. It's been a well kept secret of the elves for centuries.":shhh:

[Moraneah]

Aragorn...................."It's good to be the King"

[Adunauriel]

Arwen: "It's better to be the queen."

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Adunauriel
Legolas looks astonished "Shhhh Gimli, don't tell anyone. It's been a well kept secret of the elves for centuries.":shhh:

Gimli: Only if you promise to keep your mouth shut about that tube of Loreal antiwrinklecream you found in my backpack when you were searching for the matches!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Ok, Gimli. I'll keep your secret, if you'll keep mine." ;)

[Lady Melody]

Hahahahahhaa....

Eowyn : I love to do embroidery, that tapestry in the great Hall of Gondor is my greatest pride and joy! *holding two wooden knitting pins with balls of colourful yarns on her lap*

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Aragorn: Thats my kind of woman! Listen, I could sure use a new pair of woolen socks, my old ones are all holes. That'll be something to keep you occupied with while I'm at the Casin...I mean while I'm out hunting orch!

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Arwen: *Throws neddles down in a fit.* "I hate knitting! Much more I hate embroidery and sewing! Why can't I do something Daring like Luthien, after all we were related, weren't we?" *Storms off.*
(Actually, truth be told, I really do love to knit. The first one is a mish-mash.)

Saruman: "We must join with him, Gandalf, and together we can destroy the Sith!"
Gandalf: "Tell me, Friend, when did Dooku the Wise abandon reason for madness!" *Both yell and power on Lightsabers. After a crazy battle based off the original in LOTR only with lightsabers, Saruman uses the force to spin Gandalf around in circles.*
Saruman: "I gave you the chance to aid me willingly, but you.. have elected the way of..... PAIN!" *Uses Force to send Gandalf up on top of Orthanc.*

(Thanks to the very funny posters [and a few modifications] I came up with this.)

*Denethor chewing out Faramir.*
Denethor: "So what do you have to say to that, Faramir?!?!?"
*Silence. Out of the blue...*
Pippin: *Trying to get poor Faramir out of trouble.* "I'm cute.”
*All look at Pippin in shock.*
Denethor: “What?”
Pippin: “I’m cute.”
Denethor: “So?”
Pippin: “I’m cute.”
Gandalf: “Uh…right….keep telling yourself that.”
Pippin: “But everyone says I’m cute.”
Gandalf: “So?”
Pippin: *On the verge of a girlish giggle.* “So I’m cute.”
Denethor: *Gets impatient.* “Is there a point to all this.”
*Faramir tries not to burst out laughing.*
Pippin: “Yeah.”
Denethor: “Well what?”
Pippin: “I’m cute.” *Bounces off with Kitten at his heels looking the very picture of innocence and cuteness.*
Gandalf: “I never noticed it but he is kinda cute…”
Denethor: “Don’t even go down that road. Now where was I…”

*At Amun Hen. Aragorn thinks of something.*
Aragorn: *Gasps. Running words together.* “Frodofrodofrodofrodofrodofrodofrodofrodofrodofrod ofrodo.”
Frodo: “What?”
Aragorn: *Long pause.* “Oh, never mind. I had Sam do it earlier.”
Frodo: *To Legolas,* “Should we check his sanity?”

Gandalf: “This is the one ring, forged by the dark Lord Saron.”
Frodo: *Sits thinking hard.* “Oh! You mean Sally Lotsahair?”
Gandalf: “Oh, my word, Huston we have a problem.”
Frodo: “What? Did I forget to put in my blue contacts?”
Gandalf: “Is that why your eyes aren’t so blue today?”
Frodo: “Shh. Don’t tell.”

[Lintefaniel]

*Stands still staring blankly in Arwen's direction, only thought flowing through her mind is, huh?* I utterly enjoyed that, but still I must go with last thought, huh? But none the less, BRAVO!!!

Pippin: I don't want to die, I've never even been kissed! I've waited my whole life to be kissed.
Aragorn to Pip: I promise to kiss you before you die. (Little Women reference)

[Lady Melody]

Arwen: Do you know how annoying it is to keep your hair long? It needs constant maintainance! There's this shampoo that forever seems to be finished early, hair oils, herbs..."
Aragorn: *whispering* That's where most of the treasury goes to actually.

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Arwen: Don't think I didn't hear, that! And don't forget, I'm worth it! At least that's what the ad says...

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Believe me buddy, she's worth it."

[Ithielnor]

Aragorn: It's not my money, it's her dad's!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Dude, she's still worth it."

[Frodo's Love]

Gimli (to Legolas): "I want to be tossed by you" ;)

[Moraneah]

Galadriel: So, like are we going to see the movie or what...omg!

:thumbs:

[Ithielnor]

Haldir: *walks up to Legolas, looks around and says* Dude! the chiks must dig me, don't they?

[Aerandir]

Aragorn: We will not let Merry and Pippen torment and death
Legolas and Gimli: Yeah we will
Aragorn: Oh ok

~Aera

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Originally posted by Arwen, Elven Princes
[B...Huston we have a problem..[/B]

Whoops, that should have read "Houston we have a problem."

[Moraneah]

Legolas to Aragorn: How do we get out of this chicken "bleep" outfit?:archer:

[Beleglotiel]

Legolas: Man, what's with this bow and arrows!? And what's more, these tackie daggers! To heck with that! I want a light-lasber!

[Lady Melody]

Gandalf : Believe me you don't wanna know what's under my robes.

[Lintefaniel]

*Gandalf walks over to Frodo and stares coyly into his eyes. Growing terribly unsettled (yet strangely aroused), Frodo begins to back away. With each step backwards, Gandalf advances on him until Frodo is stopped against a tree. Leaning into the frightened, fidgeting, and blushing hobbit Gandalf smiles wickedly and whispers..................."I'm not wearing any pants" *

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Frodo takes a relieved breath and smiles at Gandalf.
Frodo: "Oh I didn't know you were Scottish?!

[Lady Melody]

Hahahahahaha.... hope the scotsmen won't take any offence in that!

Aragorn: One still wonders of your journey when you fell in the mines of Moria.
Gandalf: *in disgust* Orcs are disgusting and ugly enough being, but have you ever landed in a pool of what goes out from their rear end?? Even Thorondor tried to stop breathing when near me!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Ah, so that's the not so delicate aroma I smelled coming off you.":elfeek:

[Moraneah]

Aragorn to Eowin: "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, whats up doc!"

lol roflmao roflmao lol

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Hahahahahahahah, very funny, though I not so sure it fits thoughs two people very well...

[Moraneah]

It must be the delivery. Ok how about this one.....

Gallum after biting off Frodo's finger: "Ummmmmmmmmm, tastes like candy!!"

lol lol roflmao

[Lady Melody]

I don't think so... it's pretty sad on Frodo's part.

Aragorn: *describing a maiden in his youth* Her beauty was unlike any other I have seen before in my mortal life, as I kissed her with my closed eyes, my soul began to shatter. When I opened my eyes, it was heaven..She was an orc.

[Cuiel Rilwen]

How about this then:

Gollum, after biting off Frodos finger:

"Mmmm, ssstill needsss a little sssomething, maybe a quick sssoy- marinade"

or

"Yikesss where'ss my Colgate toothpassste?"

[Lintefaniel]

It's a chocolate covered finger of a man named Clark!

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: Nevermore

Gandalf: May the force be with you.

Legolas, Haldir and the sons of Elrond: All for one! And one for all!

Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo: Cawabunga!!! or..... Turtle Power!!!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: Nice guys Finish Last, but Hot Elves get First Prize......;)

[Moraneah]

Gandolf to Aragorn: does this robe make my butt look big??

[Adunauriel]

Aragorn in reply: "Trust me old friend it's not the robe."

[Lady Melody]

lol lol lol

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Adunauriel
Aragorn in reply: "Trust me old friend it's not the robe."
lol lol roflmao roflmao roflmao

[Frodo's Love]

Originally posted by Beleglotiel

Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo: Cawabunga!!! or..... Turtle Power!!!

[/B]

roflmao roflmao roflmao
Turtles forever!

[Beleglotiel]

Gollum: I do say, old chap, we have missed your persence at the Mens Club lately. Where hast thou been?

[Adunauriel]

Good one Bele......... lol roflmao lol

[Beleglotiel]

Thank you old girl. (uh, knicks on the old)

[Moraneah]

Erowyn to boromir: And just who was that girl I saw you with last night?????

[Adunauriel]

Originally posted by Beleglotiel
Thank you old girl. (uh, knicks on the old) Well being that your 13, I'll forgive. But, sadly I'll be twice your age in less then 3 months. That is as long as your birthday isn't between now & February 22. ;)

[Beleglotiel]

yeah it is between and actually it is before Feb 22. My B-day is Feb. 8th.

[Moraneah]

Ok, I'll admit this much, My B.day is December 10:snooze: and I'm really, really old too.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOpsy, wrong thread....

Galadriel: Maybe a nice push-up bra will help me....:elfqueen:

[Adunauriel]

Celeborn: I thought you allready wore one....

And Bele, I'll make sure to say Happy B-day......;)

[Moraneah]

Frodo: That stupid ring turned my finger green, what a fake.

Gandolf: Yes, ha ha ha, I decided to keep the real one for myself.pfbbt pfbbt :flamer:

[Lintefaniel]

My this thread can be deceiving!!

What gift would a dwarf ask of the Lady of Lorien (sorry for the misquote don't have my book!!):
Gimli: I want a puppy!!!

[Lady Melody]

Legolas: I wish for an axe!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Frodo: I would wish for some liquid brass- polishing!

[Adunauriel]

Sam: I wish for a good Diet Plan.....;)

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: I wish for a playboy magazine!

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Adunauriel
Sam: I wish for a good Diet Plan.....;)

roflmao roflmao roflmao :grin: :grin:

Elrond: I wish for a show boat to China.

[Lady Melody]

Gandalf: I'm having a draft here!

[Lintefaniel]

ON with the pants thing again? Or lack there of I should say....
Bilbo: No, thank you! I don't want anymore Avon, Amway, or 8 lb Vacuum Cleaners.....
Gandalf: What about very old Cookies?

[Moraneah]

Aragorn to Frodo: So, what's a short guy like you doing in a place like this.;)

Frodo to Aragorn: Search me, I was just enjoying the party and poof!!, here I am.....:huh:

[Lintefaniel]

hmmmm? Sounds kinda kinky?

Boromir: What new devilry is this?
Gandalf: shhhh! this is my favorite part....POPCORN!!!:p

[Adunauriel]

From the SEE-DVD Legolas to Gimli: "Why doesn't that surprise me...." lol roflmao lol ........ Sorry couldn't be helped, that was some funny stuff.......lol lol

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: AH! THE ALIENS ARE COMING! THE ALIENS ARE COMING! (a little spoof on Elijah's role in The Faculty)

[Aerandir]

LoL, pretty funny.

Gimli: Legolas, you ever kill anyone before?
Legolas: No si...no Gimli, I've just got a bunch of arrows that I never use! Please.

~Aera

[Moraneah]

Gandolf: I get some much garbage stuck in this darn beard......hey, a sandwich.

Gimli: Got any cheese or apples in there, I'm hungry....

lol lol roflmao roflmao roflmao lol

[Beleglotiel]

lol

[TrueSwordsman]

Orc: (at the battle of Helms Deep) - "I just can't bring myself to harm a golden hair on that pretty little elf's head." (referring to Legolas of course)

[Adunauriel]

Legolas back to the orc: "It's too bad I don't feel the same way...."

[Moraneah]

Merry: What the heck is this!!

Pippen: How should I know, its from your ear....:fanboy:

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Originally posted by Adunauriel
Legolas back to the orc: "It's too bad I don't feel the same way...."

Gimli: Oh come on, the orch shouldn't be punished when he's developing a consiense, thats not very pedagogical. Encourrage his efforts, and eventualy you'll see we can keep him as a pet when he's become housebroken!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas to Gimli: "How about I just get you a nice dog..."

[Lintefaniel]

Gimli to Orc: Can you fetch?
Orc in reply : Can you take a bath?roflmao roflmao roflmao

[Beleglotiel]

lol
Gimli to Orc: Can you run like mad because there is a demented dwarf after you?
Orc to Gimli: Maybe.
Gimli to Orc: Wanna try?
Orc to Gimli: Okay.......AHHHHHH! *starts to run like mad*
Gimli to Orc: Hey, you're pertty good that this.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "All right you two, don't make me have to get all parental.....":nono:

[Moraneah]

oooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo, guess she is the boss now. Yucko. ptooie.

Gimli: Who you calling short, you big bullymecry

Legolas: quiet pipsqueeck :angry:

[Little Devil]

roflmao lol

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: POOF!
Pippin: Wha? What'd you do that for?
Frodo: I am invisible! You can't see me!
Pippin: Yeah, suuure.
Frodo *moves from side to side*: You can't see me if I do this because I am INVISIBLE!
Pippin: Dude, are you feeling okay?
Frodo: Never better......'cuase I'm invisible!!! And you can't see me if I do this! *smacks Pippin on the butt*
Pippin: DUDE! You are so asking for it!
Frodo: Or this! *kicks Pippin in the shin*
Pippin: ALRIGHT! That's it!! *punches Frodo in the face*
Frodo *lays on the ground almost unconcious*: Okay so maybe you could see me. *passes out*

[Adunauriel]

Sam: "Get up Mr. Frodo.... I don't know why I've liked you all these years, you are cracked..."

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: I have no idea either, but I think that lembas has really taken a toll on me. I we sure they don't make them 'special' if you know what I mean.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "That always has been the 'special' ingredient....";)

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: I didn't even know they grew the 'special' ingredient around here. ;)

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Well it's a very well guarded Elf secret.....":shhh: ;)

[Beleglotiel]

Frodo: Oh I see ;)

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Yep, it's our secret...";) "Well ours, and all the other Elves that know...."lol

[Beleglotiel]

lol

[Lady Melody]

Aragorn: *watching a beautiful elf* Is that truely what I see? A maiden as beautiful as Luthien.
Elrohir: That's my sister you moron, in case you've forgotten, you're married to her.

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Aragorn: Oh buggars, I forgot I'm looking through my rosy pink spectacles!

[Elbereth]

have to stop laughing - need 2 breath roflmao lol roflmao

my attempt
sorry it's not that funny. People tell me I have a wierd sense of humour

Frodo: well I'm not taking the ****** ring, I don't have a map
Gandalf: yeah - and I lost the atlas
Legolas: I'd go but I have an appointment at the hair salon
Gimli: and I need to get that axe mended
Aragorn: I am getting married...
Pippin, Sam and Merry: *scilence*
Frodo: the others didn't come - they weren't invited

Boromir: Hey - why don't I take the ring
*mixed cries of 'sure', 'take it' and 'well we don't want it'*
Elrond: !£"&^*$^*^$*

[Adunauriel]

Elrohir: " Well take them off, and smell the coffee. Or, whatever will get you out of that daze your in.....";)

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Aragorn: No can do, they're progressive...mmmm...Nescafé Gold...wonder if that wonderful maid has any cookies to dip...where did she go?

[Eoliah]

Originally posted by Elbereth
have to stop laughing - need 2 breath roflmao lol roflmao

my attempt
sorry it's not that funny. People tell me I have a wierd sense of humour

Frodo: well I'm not taking the ****** ring, I don't have a map
Gandalf: yeah - and I lost the atlas
Legolas: I'd go but I have an appointment at the hair salon
Gimli: and I need to get that axe mended
Aragorn: I am getting married...
Pippin, Sam and Merry: *scilence*
Frodo: the others didn't come - they weren't invited

Boromir: Hey - why don't I take the ring
*mixed cries of 'sure', 'take it' and 'well we don't want it'*
Elrond: !£"&^*$^*^$*

lol lol lol lol
I'm really crying with laugh

You sense of humour is quite genius : I imagine really the scene with Boromir and the others "yes, take it ! we don't want it".
To be true, Jackson SHOULD HAVE DONE this scene as a spoof and put it in the extended version.

Ebereth, it is really FUN. I had a very bad day at the office and your posting made me laugh and laugh... ah it was real good...

thanx a lot

[Beleglotiel]

Must you people keep cracking on Legolas and his hair?!!!! Jeez!!

Aragorn: Let's go hunt some orc!
Gimli: Uh....
Legolas: Ummmm....
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: Well, I'm a pacifist and I don't do the hunting thing.
Legolas: Yeah man. Peace, not war. Ya dig?
Gimli: Did you know my ancestors were Quakers?
Legolas: Right on, man!
Aragorn: Oh brother!

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "Aragorn, would you kill me if I told you that I think Arwen's totally Hot.?......."

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: YOU WHAT?!!!!!! *lunges with hands outstretched towards Legolas' throat*

[Adunauriel]

lol Legolas:"Hey man, I was just kidding... She's ugly, can't stand her.....";)

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: WHAT?!!!!!! *lunges again with hands outstretched towards Legolas' throat*

[Lady Melody]

lol lol lol lol lol
Now THATS hilarious!

Glorfindel: *referring to the FOTR movie in an interview* Yeah, sure, lemme do all the hard work and give the babe the glory. Gave me enough time to take my girl out to a beach party.

[Elbereth]

Thanks Eoliah :blush:
You just made my day a whole lot better - just when I thought nothing could save it!

[Lady Melody]

Boromir: *in Dwarrodelf beside Gandalf in Khazad-dum* What devilry do we face now?
Gandalf: *referring to the Balrog* Oh, just a little friend of mine, it is getting chilly you know.

[Beleglotiel]

hahaha! very cute.

Legolas: Here wargy, wargy, wargy.

[Archer of Lorien]

(For those who've seen TTT trailers)

Eowyn: Who is she ? The woman who gave you that jewel ?

Aragorn: She was once an elf. Great princess of elves. Then Sauron the deceiver gave to her a great ring of power. Blinded by her greed, she took it without question...

[Adunauriel]

lol good one Archer... ;)

Legolas from TTT: "You know I've had enough of this Battle thing. Why can't me just dance and be happy?"

[Beleglotiel]

I am going to watch a making of TTT tonight so I shall see some of it! Yay!
I got my 'wargy' thing from a book I looked at.

[Adunauriel]

I'm so watching TTT special, and recording it.....;)

[Beleglotiel]

I can't record it but you betcha I'm gonna watch it!

[Lady Melody]

*sighs* Not yet in Malaysia...

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Why are'nt they EVER showing something like that on norwegian TV!verymad pfbbt pfbbt

[Lady Melody]

Continuation of the original topic:

Smeagol: We must not hurt nice one...nice hobbitssssss.....
Gollumn: Yesss....preciousss......we mustn't shall we?
Smeagol: We mustn't... he gave us hot dogssssss.... tastes better than fishessss....

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Gollum: Yess, preciouss...but it he forgot the picklesss!

[Adunauriel]

Sam: "Stinkers don't deserve pickles..."