101 things a LotR character would never say

[Gary Gamgee]

Frodo- I'm going to Mordor alone Sam
Sam- Bye.

Gandalf- oh just give him the bloody thing.

Galadriel- Insteed of a Husband I have a queen.

can you think of anymore hee hee

Gandalf to the Balrog- after you

*ps I stole that last one*

[Sindarin]

FRODO: If you think I'm taking this ring to Mordor, you can forget it.

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: Bilbo Baggins! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks, I'm not trying to rob you! (pause) Well, actually I am trying to rob you. Give me the ring! It's mine!

[PrinceImrahil]

Aragorn (to Arwen): **** Me

[A! Elbereth]

Elrond: Isildur! Curse it into the Fire! Or I will curse you AND the ring into the fire myself!

[Lady Arien]

Orcs:

"Hey....let's have a beach party!"

Uruk-hai:

"Can't we all just get along?"

[Orc]

OK guys, if we're going to do a 101 Things.... we need to count them...

10. LEGOLAS: Damn that orc is hot!

11. URUK-HAI: (sung in a fund raising concert for the rebuilding of Gondor) - "We are the world"....

12. Gimli hugs a tree

[PrinceImrahil]

13. BOROMIR: Ok Aragorn, you can be King.

[Orc]

14. LEGOLAS: No, it's OK, I don't mind being dirty

[Illuvatar]

15. Lurtz: Does anybody have a eye liner to go with this white foundation?

[Sindarin]

ARWEN: Do you remember when we first met?

ARAGORN: I thought I had strayed into a nightmare--I mean dream! Dream!

[Sindarin]

ELROND: The ring cannot be destroyed by any weapons we possess, Gimli, you daft eget!

[Sindarin]

BOROMIR: They have a cave troll!

ARAGORN: Aw, bollocks!

[Sindarin]

ORC: (at Helm's Deep) Little man, little man, let us in!

ARAGORN: Not by the hair of my chinny-chin- chin!

[Finrod Felagund]

Think Blazing Saddles:

In Lorien
Legolas holding Gimli : "Say Boys, Look what I got heeah"
Gimli: "Where'rall the elfmaidens at?"

[Orc]

21. GIMLI: I'm tired of killing orcs, let's go home

[Illuvatar]

22. Bilbo to Frodo:
You think that Mintril shirt's nice? You should see the panty and garter set that came with it!

23. NO...You CAN'T have the garter!!! It's mine I tell you!! It's my precioussssss!!!

[A! Elbereth]

Sindarin yours are damn funny!!! lol lol lol lol

[Mirkgirl]

24. Aragorn "I'm for democracy"

25. Boromir "Gondor needs a queen, here I am"

26. Legolas "I want a dwarven women! At least one of us will be masculine"

[The Mystic]

27 ) -=Gil-Galad and the Last Great Alliance of Elves and Men just about to face Sauron's army=- Look at all them ****ing Orcs!!!

[Lúthien Tinúviel]

28)

Strider~ "Are you frightened?"

Frodo~ "Yes!"

Strider~ "Thank God i'm not the only one!"

[Lúthien Tinúviel]

29)

Merry~ "No, no the big one, big one!"

Pippin *looking down*~ "Yes i am rather large, aren't i?!"

[Finrod Felagund]

Saruman to Gandalf in Orthanc:
"What we have heeah, is a faliure to communicate, This is what happens when a man's mind aint right"

[A! Elbereth]

Legolas: "I hear a foul voice on the air.... wait a minute... MOMMY!"

Gimli: "I've got the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!... Not to mention the butt of an Ape!"

[Orc]

33.) Boramir: HOLY F****** S*** they've got a HUGE CAVE TROLL!

34.) Lurtz: Would you like some crumpets with your tea?

[The Mystic]

35) -=Boromir explaining to the rest of the Fellowship=- I think the Urak-hai are just... misunderstood...

36) -=Gandalf asking to the rest of the Fellowship=- Does anyone else want to start a chours of "Hi ho! Hi Ho! It's off to...."

37) -=one orc to another=- Does anyone else have an unhealthy infatuation and shrine of Legolas or is it just me? Oh wait! There he is! Quick, how is my hair?

38) -=Gandalf speaking to Bilbo overlooking the Shire and sharing a smoke=- This is some kick *** s***! I'm all like... yeah man... I'm a wizard... and you're like, only three feet tall... Dude... I'm a wizard!

[Pil]

OH...MY...GOD!!!! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

39) Aragorn at the barbers - off! off! shave it allll off! stubble included!

[Lúthien Tinúviel]

40) *Aragorn enters shop and walks up to the shop assistant*
~ Where in this establishment would i find the fabled Head and Shoulders?

[Orc]

41.) Gimli: "I'm a little tea pot, short and stout......"

42.) Any Hobbit: "Lunch? No thanks, I ate about an hour ago."

43.) Legolas to hairdresser: "Dude, lets go radical with the hair. Gimmie a buz cut and dye it purple with a pink stripe down the middle."

[Lúthien Tinúviel]

44) Gandalf leaps from the tower of Orthanc, the plan was to land on Gwaihir's back... he missed ~ F*** missed, stupid bloody eagle!
Saruman~ So you have chosen death...

[Lúthien Tinúviel]

45) Frodo~ you are not yourself! *backs away*
Boromir~ Give it to me! *breaks into song* *Give it to me baby! Aha aha!...

[Pil]

46) Sauron - PAAAAAAARTAY!!! (IN JOKE, SOZ!) lol lol lol lol

[The Mystic]

47) -=Legolas overhearing Gimili's remarks about the woods of Lothlorien=- Yeah, and were you not the one that said, "Hey! I have a great idea! Lets go through the Moria Mines!"

[Bonos-Girl]

pi-il i don't get it...please explain.....

[Sindarin]

BOROMIR: You cannot just walk into Mordor...The waiting list to get a reservation is booked six months in advance!

[Illuvatar]

49. Sam to Merry and Pippin: I got the weed, did you guys get the shrooms?

50. Frodo to Sam, Merry, and Pippin: You guys got the stash? KEGGER AT BAG END!!!!!

[Sindarin]

BILBO: Why, I feel thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like Kate Moss or Christy Turlington.

[Orc]

52. Balrog to Gandalf: You make me SO mad! You never write, or send my flowers any more! And you just trapse through my home, without even bothering to knoce bringing those dirty little urchans with you!

[Bonos-Girl]

pippin: [anything remotely intelligent!!!]

[Sindarin]

GIMLI: Does this armor make me look fat?

[Bonos-Girl]

why are you so good at this sindarin?????

[Pil]

Cos he's the most amazing....writer....around! :thumbs:

V. funny, hun! roflmao

55. ELROND - I'm...just...so...emotional... mecry

[Illuvatar]

57. Isildur sneaks up behind Sauron......

Reaches through the waist portion of his armour.....

Grabs hold....

Yanks hard...........

and yells ....................WEDGIE!!

[Finrod Felagund]

Gandalf at the Bridge of Khazad Dum:
"Hey Y'all, Watch this!"

[Sindarin]

FRODO: What shall we look for and what shall we see?

GALADRIEL: Many things I can command the Mirror to reveal, and to some I can show what they desire to see.

SAM: Hey, I can see something...We're swimming in a lake with Eowyn...and she's naked!!!

FRODO: Sweet!

[Pil]

Very interesting things can happen around lakes! :naughty:

[Bonos-Girl]

ummm......yeah....whatever

[Gary Gamgee]

Gandalf- 'Elanor I was in my youth'

[Finrod Felagund]

Legolas, at Helm's Deep:
Oh drat those beastly Orcs, I've chipped a nail...

[Orc]

lol. that's GREAT Sindarin!

[Pil]

Well..... he IS fabulous at telling jokes! lol

[The Mystic]

62) -=after the long journey with very little rest Gimil speaks to himself concerning Legolas=- I swear, if this f****** Elf sings just one more damn song in that little pre-teenage girly voice of his I am going to heave him off the top of a big ledge wtih jagged rocks at the bottom!

[Bonos-Girl]

ha ha ha ha

[Pil]

roflmao :thumbs: the mystic!

[Bonos-Girl]

oooookkkkk!!!!! whatever (said in a *really* cheesy accent!!!!)

[Pil]

63) Gimli: Everyone tosses dwarves!

[Lady Arien]

64) Saruman: "Who drilled these holes in my palantir? I don't care what it LOOKS like....IT IS NOT A BOWLING BALL !!!

[Gil-Galad]

65) SAURON look guys, im really sorry aboot all the bad things i did, lets be freinds.

66)ARAGORN Arwen, your really ugly.

67) WHICH-KING So Eowyn, what are ya doing friday night

EOYNW im all free big guy...

[Nessa]

68) Sam- "No Mr. Frodo, I'd rather not make you breakfast this morning, get up and do it yourself."

[Illuvatar]

69) Legolas to Gimli (During the head lopping competition at Helm's deep) Picks up an Uruk-Hai head and says

"Oh my!! Look at this one!! Do you think we can do something with this hair? Mine is getting soooo ragged..."

70). Gimli to Legolas in response:

Can it... you fairy tart of an Elf!! Now get back to work!!

[Pil]

Can it!....lol rofl FABULOUS! :thumbs:

71) Gandalf - Yes bilbo...i AM a CAULDRON of cheap tricks...

[Aragorn Isildur]

72) Saruman: Lurtz, book me in for my manicure.

73) Legolas (at council of Elrond): This is Aragorn, pervy hobbit fancier...

74) Gollum: Duuuudddeeee, wheres my ring?

75) Denethor: Has anyone got a lighter?

76) Gimli: Puff, Puff, Pass Legolas...

77) Boromir: Give it me!
Frodo: Yes, Boromir! Make love to me like a man should!

Sorry 'bout that last one ;)

Aragorn:king:

[A! Elbereth]

OMG! ARAGRON YOU NAUGHTY NAUGHTY PERSON :o :o :naughty: :naughty: :nono: :nono:

*Looks at Aragorn with a disgusted face and looks away towards the fire*

Frodo would never! But maybe Legolas would give it a try! :naughty: HAHAHA! lol lol ........sorry.......

[Pil]

STOP IT! THE PAIR OF YOU! :nono: :angry:

But thank you for brightening up my morning! lol

[Dunedan of Dunedin]

16. Aragorn- Frodo give me the ring! Give it to me now! it's mine!
(cakle) hahaha,
17. Boromir-Aragorn stop this at once wat do u think you're doing?

[Catz]

come now Aragorn.....you know Sam'd kill him if he tried anything....:naughty: lol roflmao roflmao lol :elfeek:
:catz:

[Pil]

More diaries fans...i feel a thread coming on... lol

18. Treebeard to Denethor - 'Why don't you light a big fire in Fangorn.

19. Denethor answering - 'No' :flamer: lol

[Illuvatar]

Now how in the world did you guys go from 77 to 16? roflmao roflmao

[Nessa]

Pil! Thats classic, lol lol roflmao

[Kimbo Baggins]

[any hobbit]: "no thanks, im not hungry"

[A! Elbereth]

We now have 82 things an LOTR character would never say!
Make sure to number them ok?

83.) Frodo smoking weed: Uh oh! Here comes the guards! Hide the dope! Hide the dope quick! (to Pippin)

[Pil]

*gasps* roflmao lol lol veryhappy

[Sindarin]

84. FRODO: What's a guy gotta do to get a pedicure around here?

[Sindarin]

85: FRODO & SAM (singing as they triumphantly leave Mordor)

We are the champions! We are the champions! No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions...of the world!!!

[Catz]

86:Boromir facing down Lurtz........OUCH!!!

[Sindarin]

87. SARUMAN: (to his Uruk-Hai) You do not know pain! You do not know fear! You will taste man-flesh! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

[Aragorn Isildur]

Saruman when breeding the Uruk-Hai to orc: Can you tell what it is yet?

[Nessa]

89: Eowyn: "You big strong men go ahead off to battle! I've got so much housework to do! I'll be sure to have dinner ready when you get back!"

[Aragorn Isildur]

90) Legolas: Does this make my bum look big?

[Aragorn Isildur]

Oh wait, this is 101 things they'd never say :) ;)

Aragorn:king:

[legolaslover]

(Before Frodo leaves)

Frodo:Will you destroy it? Would you take the ring to mordor?

Aragorn: I would of gone with you till the end but, I must stay near the HOT elf (Legolas)

[Kwijibo]

92. Just after the Ring goes into Mt. Doom and Mordor is falling apart -

Frodo: I am glad you are here with me. Here at the and of all things, Sam.

Sam: Oh, stop being so f***ing melodramatic!

[Nessa]

93. Sam: "Eeeeek! A spider! Kill it, Frodo! Kill it, kill it, kill it!!!" :elfeek:

[Illuvatar]

94. Gollum: Rings.....Rings for sale!! Get your rings here.....

95. Gollum to Bilbo: You'd betta getch yo hand outa dat pocket, and give me wats mine, befo I pull up wonna these fishes outa this lake beat choo bout the head and shoulders wid it!

[Kwijibo]

In Lorien:
96. Legolas - TREES?!?! That is SO last season and just think of all those bugs *shudder*

97. Sam (to Galadriel) - Listen, Elf Lady, Mr. Frodo already knows he's gorgeous, he doesn't need your mirror to tell him!

BTW, about the Frodo being gorgeous bit, I don't agree personally :p

[Illuvatar]

98. Lurtz:
Damn!! I got a snag in my fishnets!! Hey Ronin! You got an extra pair?

[Catz]

lol roflmao roflmao roflmao lol *gasp*....*choke*....*wheeeeze*...lol roflmao roflmao lol
:catz:

[A! Elbereth]

93. Sam: "Eeeeek! A spider! Kill it, Frodo! Kill it, kill it, kill it!!!"

Hahahahahahaha very nice Nessa! lol roflmao

[Dunedan of Dunedin]

k, this is my one:)

Arwen and Aragorn are making out on the bridge in Rivendel,
as arwen says- id give up living and seeing all the ages for one life time of love with - be Legolas goes dashing past in the woods near by and she says- on second thought, Legolas is mighty HOT andhes an elf youre a ewl:elfeek:
seeya.
aragorn- bbbbut, mummymecry
sorry aragorn and arwen, no offence to my fav characters

[Arkenstone]

Gandalf: Orcs aren't bad...with a little ketchup!

[Illuvatar]

Okay well that will make this officially 101 then!! :whoohoo:

101. Sam to Merry:

Cabbage? Cabbage? We don't need no stinking CABBAGE!!


There!! it's done!! :thumbs: Hat's off to all who made this thread a success!! :cool:

Now let's celebrate for just a little bit, then I will close THIS thread and start a new one, if you guys want, appropriatly titled
"101 More things a LoTR character would never say"

Until then....

Huzah!!entdraught :hooray: entdraught :hooray: entdraught :hooray: entdraught :hooray: entdraught :hooray:

[Kwijibo]

:hooray: :whoohoo: :hooray: entdraught :hooray: entdraught :hooray: :whoohoo: :hooray:

Wait a mo, I shouldn't celebrate, I just came up with a good one!

pfbbt just kidding ;)

[Rosie Gamgee]

In Rivendell:

Legolas: Then you have my bow.

Gimli: And you would have my axe, but I just smashed it on the Ring.


:archer:

[A! Elbereth]

haha but Gimli really picked up the axe of the dwarf sitting next to him, and smashed his instead of his own....

[Pippins-Girlo]

lol I didn't notice that!!! lol Greedy B*****ed! J/P!!! lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol Sorry, that's enough from me now.

[Little Devil]

O, plz plz plz plz can u guys do sum more? cos i'm jus roflmaolol

[Little Devil]

GANDALF: ***** Baggins....i mean Bilbo bilbo....

[Magickcello]

BOROMIR:My father was a show girl once.........

[Magickcello]

LEGOLAS:Bendddd and SNAP!

[Daughter of Finarfin]

Gimli: No, it's okay, pull the beard. I like it.
Gimli: Oh, will someone please toss me! Please!

[Magickcello]

LEGOLAS:(dreamily)dwarves must be the most gorgeous creatures in middle earth......

[Sindarin]

lol

FRODO: Will you take the ring?
GALADRIEL: My god! Really?! Thank you so much! Wow! This is amazing!

[Tinwë]

*In Moria after Aragorn tosses a hobbit to the other part of the stairs*


Gimli-Oohh! That looks like fun! ME NEXT! ME NEXT!! lol

[Magickcello]

lol
ARWEN: Do you remember when we first met?
ARAGORN: No-wait yes! It is all coming back to me........you were on the beach, wearing that small bikini......oh no!!! that was my dream!!!

[Sindarin]

roflmao

[Daughter of Finarfin]

Gimli: You know it is really Gimli DAUGHTER of Gloin. I know it is hard to tell!

[Magickcello]

roflmao
GALADRIEL: This is the star of Earendil, our most beloved star...
*light of galadriel is dropped by frodo and shatters into a million peices*
GALADRIEL: you @#$%^$#@ !!!@!!

[Orc]

Gandalf to Elrond: Shut up you pompus git. YOU had the chance to destroy the ring, but you were to much of a wussy boy to do it. Now I have to clean up your mess....

[Mirkgirl]

Galadriel to Boromir - "I accidentaly understood your plans about the ring. Need an ally?"

[Magickcello]

Isiludor-yes

[Pil]

lol Clever :thumbs:

[Undomiel]

Ringwraith to Frodo on Weathertop- look i'm sure we can sort this out rationally. O oops will you look at that i stabbed you-im so sorry.

[Lurtz]

this is fun!....i like the ***** baggins...but, i have another, but someone yelled at me for being offensive...ok i'll give a hint...u can call bilbo ***** and then for the last name, what rhymes with baggins and starts with an f? lol ha ha ha ok i need to think of one....hmmm.....in the begining of the movie FRODO: "bilbo! look out! a dragon!" BILBO: "o really? i want to ride him! where is he?!"

[Sindarin]

THEODEN: I am going to war, Master Meriadoc.
MERRY: Oooh, bring me back something nice!

[Sindarin]

Meanwhile on Mount Doom...

FRODO: How far is there to go?
SAM: I don't know, because I don't know where we're going.
FRODO: Then check the map, you git!

[Pil]

:thumbs: FAAAAABLUS! lol

[Little Devil]

roflmao roflmao
Aragon( when Boromir dies): Whoo-hoo now I can be King.(gets up and starts dancing)

[Daughter of Finarfin]

lol roflmao roflmao lol

[Tinwë]

lol

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Council of Elrond
Elrond: "Friends of old, well, not exactly... But any way. Oh! and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.*Fingure pointing at Boromir.* Um yes well, you have been sumined here to answer that treat of Gondor, NO! I mean Mordor! Mordor!No offence Estle or Boromir..."

[Sindarin]

roflmao

[Black Rider]

Legolas (to Aragorn) : man, you've got yourself a nice piece of elf there! i'd like some of that @$$! How did you do it?
Aragorn: eh, you know. :: puts on girly voice :: ooh Arwen, when i first saw you i thought i had strayed into a dream. :: reg. voice :: elf chics love that kind of stuff. right Gandalf?
Gandalf: Word. I feel you playa.

[Sindarin]

MERRY: Won't somebody give us a bit of a song, while the sun is high?

FRODO: What?! I've just been stabbed by a Morgoth blade! If I don't get help soon I'm going to turn into a Wraith, and you want someone to sing a song?!

[Little Devil]

lol lol
Legolas (to Aragon): Dude, I'm totally serious just bleach your hair and stick on some pointy ears, the girls will be all over you trust me on this one.
Aragon(sigh): I thought women LIKED the rugged outdoorsy type!

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: Let the Ring Bearer decide.
FRODO: What?! Let me decide?! No! That is way too much pressure!!!

[Eowyn]

these are so funny! well done to all who wrote them. I'm so pathetic at this!

*Gandalf riding on shadowfax in his white costume*
ARAGORN behold the white rider....... erm.... well he was...

GANDALF I know, I know, I spilt my lunch down the front.

I tryed!

[Gowpon]

Frodo: Oh my, I'm soooo hungry, I can eat a horse!!
Sam: ......NO! Mr. Frodo! You can't eat Bill!
Pippin: Bill's a pony, you idiot.


lol lol

[Little Devil]

lol lol u guys are good at this!

[TheRingBearer]

Sam to Frodo - I hate you

:trout: :trout: *dustball rolls through the forums* lol

[Black Rider]

::In Bree::

random guy at bar: Give us a song, Mr. Underhill!
Frodo: All right ::jumps on table::
I like big butts and i cannot lie,
You other brother's can't deny...
::starts grinding imaginary hobbit-lass::

[Little Devil]

and when a girl walks in with a ineey-beeny waist.....

[Orc]

Cave Troll: Good evening gentlemen. I've come to sack, pillage and eat you. Now if you would be so kind as to gently dispose of your weapons we can all handle this in a nice civilized manner....

[TheRingBearer]

In Moria
Two Orcs are following the Balrog but a lick of flame from the balrog's behind lands on an orcs back
Orc 1: Ooo there's a spark on your back
Orc 2: Arrrrggghhhh get it off get it off get it off
Orc 1: Oh you are such a wuss... Ahhh it's on my finger!!

[Princess Greenleaf]

*Balrog (or Sauron) to Gandalf*

Gandalf...come to the fire side...

Nooo...must...resist...

I am your father....

*dum dum dum!*

[Nessa]

Originally posted by Black Rider
::In Bree::

random guy at bar: Give us a song, Mr. Underhill!
Frodo: All right ::jumps on table::
I like big butts and i cannot lie,
You other brother's can't deny...
::starts grinding imaginary hobbit-lass::

:o :o :o

Thank you kindly for that image Black Rider. That particular chapter shall never be the same. lol lol lol

I'm torn between :o and lol

erm, carry on.... I'm too flustered to think of anything....

[Catz]

lol lol roflmao roflmao roflmao lol lol i know you shouldnt post just smilie posts but im laughing too hard to type!!!!!lol lol roflmao lol
:catz:

[Black Rider]

Saruman (into Palantir): The power of Isengard is at your command, Sauron, lord of the earth.
:: picture of eye with pink sparkly mascara, blue contacts, and fake lashes appears in palantir ::
Sauron: oh stahp! you flatter me, really! now i'm going on a trip to San Francisco to get some pumps and for a rendevouz with Elton John, but when i get back i expect there to be a huge army of those sexy orcs, do you hear me? and from now on call me Sally,none of that lord of the earth jazz. i'm not Hitler you know.

[Little Devil]

Gandalf: 'I am a servent of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass.' (There's more but cant be bothered to type.)
Balrog: Gandalf......I am your father.
Gandalf: *gasp, gasp* then faints.
(someone else has done sumthing silmilar but o well.

[Eowyn]

Legolas singing by the nimrodel:

An Elven-maid there was of old,
A shining star by day:
Her mantle white was hemmed with gold,
Her shoes of silver-grey.

A star was bound upon her brows,
A light was on her hair
As sun upon the golden boughs
in erm.. that place er.... damn I've forgotten the words!

[Smaug the Smog]

Made up by my sister:

Gandalf: They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing Stones. We do not know who else may be watching.

Sauron: GAK! *eye falshes*

Sauraman: Oh, yeah. You get used to that after a while.

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

lol lol lol lol lol OK I got some:
Galadriel: "But the power of the ring could not be undone."
*Saron come on and swings weapon.*
Sound effects:*DDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.*
*Booom*
*Smoke clears. Saron and Elendil lying dead.*
Isildure:*Piglet's voice.*" Oh Dear! Oh de-de-de-de-de-dear, dear, dear, dear, dear! *Picks up ring.* what shall I... who shall I... Oh, maybe the Ring isn't so great after all.*Chucks Ring into Mount Doom.

Arwen: "What's this? A ranger caught of his guard?"
Aragorn:"What took you so long?!"
Arwen:"Oh, you know, I couldn't decide how to fix my hair and what lip-stick, eye-shadow and mascara I was doing to wear."

*Riders of Rohan charging at orcs surrounding white city.*
Theoden:"Charge!!!!!!!!!!"
*Plays William Tell overture.*

Gimli: "Malt Deer, ripe meat of the bone..."
Legolas:"I'm a vegetarian."
Gimli:"Hmm, tree-huger."
Legolas:"What?!'
Gimli:"Vegan"
Legolas:"You Carnivore!'
Gimli:"Herbafor."
Legolas:*Gasp*"Gandalf, did you hear what he called me!?"
Pippin:*Tattle-tail voice* "Gandalf, did you hear what he called me? You two-faced apples!"
Gandalf:"Yeah, legolas and I also heard what you called him."

[Gowpon]

*Frodo puts on the ring and disappears*

Pip: Where did Frodo go?
Merry: Dunno.
Sam: Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo! Where are you? The Nazguls are gone!!

Frodo: Damn! I ate too much this morning! The Ring got stuck on my finger!!

:naughty: :naughty:

[Black Rider]

Gandalf (to Elrond) : is there something wrong, Elrond? you look a little... erm... inanimate?
Elrond: yeah, well you try raising a daughter who's immortal. she was a hormonal teenager for 750 years! ack!

[Eowyn]

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

[Pil]

FRODO TO GANDALF: You've been officially labelled a well liked person!

[Princess Greenleaf]

Have you guys heard the '30 second theater' promotion put out by Hollywood Video about the LOTR?

It's hilarious, I'll get you the link or send it to fatty for him to upload.

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

*At the last Alliance. Saron walks in with AT-4 and sites up on Isildure.*

Isildur:"No, wait, this the fourteen hundreds. h-h-he-help!!!!!
*Saron fires and completly misses.*
Isildure:"Ha. Missed!"

I had one i wanted to post and when I got here it totally left me and i forgot.:blush:

[Little Devil]

Don't you hate it when that happens? :)

[Little Devil]

To carry on from yours Arwen.
Sauron: %&$£(@"&£%^$
(language that I would be kicked out for if I typed it :blush: )

[Princess Greenleaf]

*This refers to the movies and it's actors*

*Aragorn looks at Boromir*

"Aren't you 006?"

*Boromir looks at Frodo*

"Aren't you the one who found that aesteroid?"

*Frodo looks at Sam*

"Weren't you in that football movie...Rudy?"

hehee....

[Kwijibo]

Ok, here's two. Sorry if they've already been done, couldn't be asked to read the whole thread.

Legolas: Something draws near, I can feel.
(glances down and sees a small spider climbing up his arm)
Legolas: Aah! A bug! (running about like a headless chicken) Get it off! Aragorn, help! Get it off!

Boromir: The Ring! Gimme gimme gimme!
Frodo: Ok.
Aragorn: D'oh!

[Eowyn]

these are so funny!

[Princess Greenleaf]

Those are great! Wish I could come up with something that goofy...

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Those ARE funny!roflmao Here!! *Stuffes in face.*
*At Bilbo's party.*
Bilbo: "And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
*Silence.*
Bilbo: "I..I have things to do..."
Pippin: "Yeah, like pay off you credit card for this huge party! Dare I even ask how much it was."
*All gasp.*

[Smaugger]

Aragorn: I do know what strenghth is in my blood, and I swear to you, I will not waste it on the White City.

Boromir: :flamer:

[Pil]

*pil claps aloud...regardless of the crowded computer room* Fabulous Smaugger! :thumbs: entdraught :)

[Smaugger]

*Blushes* Thanks......:blush: :blush: :blush:

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Legolas: "Aragorn, did you bring any Tylenol?"

Arwen: "Dad, you have to remove that morgul knife now or he'll become a wraith!"
Elrond: "I can't. I'm allergic to Halflings."

[Tar-Ancalimë]

Faramir: Tidings of death have many wings. Night oft brings news to kindred, 'tis said. Boromir was my brother.

Frodo: gosh I'm so sorry.

Faramir: nah. now he's not around to play dad's favorite or hog gondor from me. i'll never give this country up now. It's mine! My own... my precioussss!

[Elf angel]

lol lol lol roflmao

[Little Devil]

Gimli: Hey everyone I'm a hairy git!

[Tar-Ancalimë]

Legolas: Hey everyone Gimli's a hairy git!


(sorry little devil couldnt resist!)

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Tar-Ancalimë,
roflmao roflmao
Oh, that's sooo Funny!!!!!!!
Also,
I LOVE the pink mascara and sally thing it was so funny i was on the floor, Black Rider. Americans get the hitler this thing very easily.

[Tar-Ancalimë]

thx!

[Gowpon]

Arwen: Hey everyone Aragorn is a hairy git! And guess why I'm the only one that knows!

(Gowpon is giggling lol :naughty: )

[Tar-Ancalimë]

ouch! dirty mind there. they arent supposed to do that until after the marriage... (roflmao)

[Little Devil]

Really????? :o :elfeek: tut tut

[Merry Monaghan]

Hee hee!!! I LOVE picking on the Fellowship. They're just asking for it! (Don't get me wrong, I love those guys! I wish I was out there fighting with them!)

~~~

Merry: Pippin... guess what?
Pippin: I couldn't possi--
Merry: (rips open coat to reviel a yellow vest) LELLOW!!!!!!!!!!

Legolas: Hey everyone! Ssh!
(Fellowship gives their undivided attention)
Legolas: I'm... (rips off shirt) too sexy for my shirt...
Pippin: (squinting) TOO BRIGHT!!!

(Gandalf gives Pippin his hat and staff before picking up the book in Moria)
Merry: Don't give him those, he'll eat them!

(Pippin walks into a room in Rivendell only to find Merry running around with Gandalf's hat on, Strider's cloak, blowing Boromir's horn, and chasing a kitty with a flyswatter)
Pippin: WHAT in all Middle-earth are you DOING?!

Pippin: I think.... starting tomorrow... I shall start my diet.
Frodo: But isn't that what you said last wee--
Pippin: SSH! I am DETERMINED know.
Legolas: But didn't you say that--
Pippin: All RIGHT just call off the whole thing! (stomps off)

Frodo: (sees the Eye of Sauron) Back, back!!! I have... (whips out a envalope opener) A POINTY-OBJECT!!!!!!!!!

Aragorn: (high on caffiene, walks up to Gandalf and brushes his shoulder grinning stupidly) You have a flyyyyy on yooooooou. Heehee...

Heehee... don't wanna take up too much room, but I hope you enjoyed those!

[Little Devil]

roflmao roflmao Love the Legolas one *starts going hyper and sings I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my skirt!*

[Eowyn]

lol don't worry merry monaghan take up as much room as you like! on this thread. just felt that needed to be added! :blush:
*hits self over head*
naughty head stop it right now.

[Smaugger]

Saruman: The power of isengaurd is at your command. Saruon Lord of the Earth.
Saroun: Cook me a dinner wourthie of mordor!
Orc #1: "What orders for mordor my lord? What does The Eye command?"
Saruman: We have work to do! First we need to cook in the kitchen.
:grin: :)

[TheRingBearer]

lol

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Oh, my word!!!!!!!!!!!(Pippin walks into a room in Rivendell only to find Merry running around with Gandalf's hat on, Strider's cloak, blowing Boromir's horn, and chasing a kitty with a flyswatter) That is sooooooo funny!!! I can see Boromir right now:
*Pippin tells Boromir about Merry.*
Boromir: "Merry has WHAT?!????????!??????!?!?!?!?! What's dad going to say!?"verymad verymad verymad
And Aragorn high on Caffine. that woun't be so good for the uruks, as if Aragorn wasn't swift enough without it.

[Merry Monaghan]

(Aragorn picks up an arrow with a teddy bear in it in a shishkabob fashion and glances at Legolas)
Aragorn: Legolas...?
Legolas: But it threatened me!

(Merry is standing atop a hill, overlooking Buckland, his cape flourishing behind him, a colander upon his head, and a broom stick in his hand, trying to look heroic as possible)
Merry: Behold I am... MERIADOC the MAGNIFICENT!!!
(Pippin tries a similar tactic to look important)
Pippin: Behold I am... PEREGRIN THE PATHETIC!!! (considers what he just said) Wait...
Merry: (in utter disgust) You disgrace me...

(Pippin has had enough of Gandalf's insults and has somehow stolen Shadowfax, and is now charging Gandalf at full speed)
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
Pippin: (trying to act triumphant) OH but I SHALL!!!
(Tramples Gandalf)

Do you want more? Just say the word!!!

[Ghâsh]

Hahaahhaha! YES!!!

[Tar-Ancalimë]

Originally posted by Merry Monaghan
(Aragorn picks up an arrow with a teddy bear in it in a shishkabob fashion and glances at Legolas)
Aragorn: Legolas...?
Legolas: But it threatened me!



OMG that has to be the funniest one yet. *dies for lack of breath through laughing too hard*

oh lord now see what youve done to me?

[Ghâsh]

That one was the best! XD

[Nessa]

Originally posted by Merry Monaghan

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
Pippin: (trying to act triumphant) OH but I SHALL!!!


roflmao roflmao roflmao

Merry, thats great! More please! :grin:

[Little Devil]

Your great at this!!!! keep up the good work! :grin:

Hobbits: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rest of the Fellowship : What, what is it?
Sam: burst into tear and says :We're out of mushrooms!

[Merry Monaghan]

Oooooooooo!!!! I feel so loved!!! I think I shall write... SOME MORE!!!!

~~
(my cousin came up with this...)

(While out collecting wood, Boromir check his surroundings... spontainiously drops the wood and begins to dance)
Boromir: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie...

(Imagine this:
Pippin and Merry race down the snowy hill on Boromir's shield................. Boromir runs after them screaming things not appropriate for children 12 years and younger)

Aragorn: Hey! (points at Legolas) Those are MINE!!!
Legolas: Well, you can't have ALL the Teddy Gramcrackers!

Saruman: (about to announce a very important... announcement to Gandalf) Behold... I am... Saruman the Pink!!!

(me and my cousin came up with this on a reeeeally long drive one day)
Aragorn: (dozing off, abruptly shoots up, eyes wide open and pointing) A WAL MART TRUCK!!! (satisfied smile) My day is complete.

Heehee! I'm not to sure about those, but oh well! Tell me if ya want more! Thank yees!

[Catz]

Behold... I am... Saruman the Pink!!!
heheheheheheheheheheheheheh.......notworthy notworthy
ahhhh thats gooooood....
:catz:

[Eowyn]

merry monaghan how do you do it?
notworthy

[Gatsby]

okay here are some
elrond: welcome to rivendell... Mr. Anderson

Arwen and Aragorn are kising on the bridge when leggy comes up behind hind Aragorn and ***** slaps him
legolas - you two timing man ****!!

Frodo - oops
aragorn - what
frodo - promise you won't get upset
aragorn - ...yes...
frodo - i dropped the ring in the river
aragorn - you stupid )&$(^#(&$)&#%$&^%$#^#(#&^$^#$&$&)@^&(^$(^%*%#)(^%)B )&$)&%)#&%_*$^)&*^%$#$^#%#&$RHIC$*$*(*!@(^#@*#)$"::>{>::#(*@(#*^$(^#@*$&(@#$^(^@%&^#*$($^$**$*$*%(%)#&^@&*#($&@^#($&@(#&^%$*%&#)(# of all the $)(&$&@)_&$)*@!_($)@(*&$)($(*^@_(@(^*#^@&$*@^$&*$.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In moria
leggy - orcs!!
gimli - No kidding sherlock
aragorn - let's give an award to captian obvious

i know those are stupid but i think they're funny

[Tar-Ancalimë]

lol...

so do I :)

[Gatsby]

Galadriel - i am the ruler of lothlorien, celeborn is merely my puppet

[Merry Monaghan]

:king: HAHA!!! BOW to me, oh little Middle-earthians!!! BOW!!!!! I am ALMIGHTY!!!
Just kidding...;) I'm just your average Master of Buckland... or should I say Mistress of Buckland.
(Considers Eowyn's question) Hmmmmm..... **lightbulb** (opens mouth... then closes it) I really don't know... but I'm glad you like them! I think my sense of humor was first-- how do I put it-- released(?) when we were stuck in an elevator... very sad, I know. But I think you shall like these...

~~

(Merry watches Pippin slide down the stairs in Moria after tripping again)
Pippin: (passes Merry and voice grows fader) Ow.. oh... eeesh... ouch... ooo! Meeee eeerrrrrrryyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! *splat* Ow.

Frodo: (to Sam) Watch this...
(He snatches Boromir's shield when he's not looking and flings it into the river for the pure amusement of watching him swim after it)

(Legolas is frolicing around a field, daisy chain decorates his golden hair, and he starts to sing to the tune of "The Candy Man" from Willy Wonka)
Legolas:(singing) Who can take a daisy? Sprinkle it with dew? The PANSY MAN CAN!
(Saruman the Pink flitters across the screen)
Saruman: The Pansy Man can!
(Don't get me wrong on this one, I love Legolas! He's my good friend! He's just asking for it, that's all)
:grin:

Legolas: (taps Aragorn) Guess what?
Aragorn: What?
Legolas: Yuo have to gueeeess!
Aragorn: Just tell me...
Legolas: (shaking his head) Nope, hafta guess.
Aragorn: Grrr...
Legolas: Come on. You hafta--
Aragorn: JUST BLOODY TELL ME!!!
Legolas: Okay, FINE... Mr. Poopypants...
Aragorn: Well?
Legolas: *grins* I like stuff.

Okay, that's all I can do for now. See ya!

[Lady of Rohan]

:) those are very funny merry

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Hahahahaahahahaahah!!!!!!!!! Merry Monaghan
what did we do without you all that time!?!?!!? those are Sooooooooo funny!!! *Collases out from stomick musel pain and lack of air.*

[Smaugger]

In Moria:

Legolas: *Gets arrow ready starts pointing at door*

Gimli: Ah! Let them come theres still one dwarf yet that still
draws breath!

Legolas: Gee gimli ya all done crying?

Gimli: Yeah ya all done acton like you'er scared?

Legolas: No!

[Lady of Rohan]

lol

smaugger I like your sig. I always thought it was weird too how Aragorn says, "Leave stuff here!" and then picks something up...

[Eowyn]

I've tried but there not half as good as merry's

*As gandalf and elrond watch the water rise to engulf the black riders at the ford of Bruinen*
Elrond: opps!
Gandalf: I think that was a bit OTT.
Elrond: well I didn’t expect frodo to be that close to the water!
Gandalf: I suppose you’d better send some people to fetch him.

In Moria…
Frodo: hey Sam have you got a metal detector?
Sam: huh? no, why?
Frodo: I dropped the ring. Please don’t tell Aragorn.
Sam: ARAGORN…

At mount doom
Sam: frodo you must throw the ring into the mountain
Frodo: no! It’s my prrrecciousss
Sam: fine!
*steps forward and pushes frodo into mount doom*

Just before merry parts from Eowyn and Eomer and embraces them
Eowyn: can we keep him faramir? Please…..

[Merry Monaghan]

(sneers at Ewoyn and Faramir and backs away) No... you can't have me...... you can't, I tell you... YOU CAN'T!!! (runs around Gondor screaming and raving about how he's an independent Super Hero who needs no one to fetch his needs)

:p Juuuuuuust kidding! You know that, right? Merry ALWAYS nice!!!!
Pippin's voice: Heh! Riiiiiiight...
(scrunches nose in general direction of the Took and continue the narrative with a cheesy smile) Okay... back to business... I'm afraid I can only put one or two since my mum is going to eat me if I don't get off in five minutes.

~~

(Merry and Pippin arrive in the Councal after Sam has refused to leave Frodo, dressed in a Batman and Robin fashion, trying to look as buff and inportant as possible)
Elrond: What the devil...?
Merry: Behold... the Masters of Disguse!
Pippin: The Strength of the World!!
Merry: The Thunder from the Heavens!!!
Pippin: The Havoc from He--
Merry: THE (glares at Pippin) Raging Wind from--
Elrond: Is there a point to this?
Merry: *ahem* Right... we are (hands on hips) CHAOS and...
Pippin: (salutes) MISCHIEF!!!
(They simontaneiously yell war-like screams and runs around the Council waving plastic swords and such in the faces of those not entirely amused and they continue to do so until Gandalf chases them out of Rivendell)


I'm afraind that's all I have time for now. I really must dash.

[Illuvatar]

*wipes tears from eyes* roflmao

I haven't read this one in a bit!

Thanks ever so much for the pain in may side! lol

Huzah! To our comedians! entdraught

(Saruman the Pink flitters across the screen)
Saruman: The Pansy Man can!

That is just too hysterical!!

The bad part is I can picture it!:o :o lol lol lol

[Orc]

LOL

Captian Chaos and Mr. Mishcief!

Those are great!

[Gatsby]

these are my bro's and mine:
P.S sorry for the abundance of asterics

after gandalf finds out that bilbo gave him the wrong ring
bilbo: oh the evil ring, don't i feel like an *** :thumbs:

after aragorn reveals himself to to sauron:
Aragorn to Sauron: oh just **** off

At the council of elrond
pipin, merry, and sam: we'll go too!!!
gandalf: you can't come
elrond: now gandalf....
gandalf: c'mon elrond, do they have to come,
elrond: yes
gandalf: but at home you said it was my journey an i get to choose who comes
elrond: you have to let them go
gandalf: i hate you! *he runs blubbering to his room*


still at the council
elrond: what say you aragorn
aragorn: we're ****ed, have you seen that guy?!?!

frodo, thinking he should take the ring:
frodo: maybe i should take the ring
boromir: maybe you should shut up!

boromir:mmmmmmmmmm, ring of darkness, mmmmmmmm

aragorn to the wood elves when delivering gollum:
aragorn: ok, here he is
wood elves: we don't want that
aragorn: taaaaaaaake it

legolas when he looses gollum:
legolas: elrond
elrond: yes
legolas: something happened
elrond: what did you guys find an evil ring or something?
legolas:no......*twisting toe in the dirt with his head down*i lost something
elrond: whaaaaaaaaat, we have an evil ring to deal with, i don't need this legolas....
legolas:ummmmmm, gollum
elrond: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH........how did you loose that green bastard
legolas: he climbed a tree
elrond: so, and then what he got on the back of an eagle or something right?
legolas: well, he got really high up
elrond: and then...
legolas: that's it
elrond: legolas you ignorent sllutt. your wood elves you do relize that right? your job is to climb really tall trees and look at things from said tree, that is why you live!
legolas: we got ambushed in our own forests, our scouts missed those dirty bastards
elrond takes out big heavy thing: you see this you blind bastard?!?! leave before it bloodies up your face
legolas: well if you want to get mad about it.....
elrond hits him with heavy thing:SHUT *slight pause* UP!!
takes moment to compose self: you were saying gandalf

thats all i got... for now MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
no elves were hurt in the typing of this post
out
gatsby and Decheran (brother of gatsby)

[Gatsby]

sauron walks out on the battlefeild totally naked:
sauron: in my new cloths i shall smite all who dare to stand in my way
witch king: sir!! if you don't mind me saying, your not wearing any clothes
sauron: yes i am
witch kind: no sir, your not
sauron: no, gollum made these for me, i let him go in exchange for them, he said only the most evil can see them, and if you arent evil enough you can't see them
witch king: i am the most evil in the middle earth besides you m'lord, and i can't see anything
sauron: im not wearing any clothes....right
a nazgul wispers in sauron's ear: pssssst....your balls are showing
legolas from across the battle feild: look at that ***.....
out
gatsby' and Decheran

[Merry Monaghan]

~~

(After Gandalf falls into the abyss, the Fellowship stand at the end of the cliff and start to clap in a rhythmic fashion and soon start a chorus)
Fellowship: Nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah! Hey, hey, hey... Good bye!
(They all wave and run off)

Gandalf: What *twitch* problems? I don't *twitch* have any *twitch* *twitch* problems. What are you *twitch* talking *twitch* about? *twitch*

(As they paddle their way out of Lothlorien, Frodo looks over at Galadriel. She raises her hand and forms an "L" with her thumb and finger therefore making the "Loser" sign on her fore head. Frodo burts into tears)

(Passing the Argornath)
Pippin: *giggle* TOENAILS!!!

(While driving down a mountain in his brand new yellow bug, Merry decides to take advantage of the trip down hill and opens the top window, sticks his head out, hair flying in all directions, tongue sticking out like a dog)
Merry: Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! !

Pippin: (almost in tears, looking at his plate) I had cake... it was here a minute ago... (starts to lick the crumbs off the plate)

(Legolas walks into yet another room in Rivendell taken over by chaos only to see Aragorn chasing Pippin with a vacuum cleaner)
Legolas: *blink* *blink*

(Boromir peeps into another room in Rivendell, seeing Legolas trying to shove Gandalf up a chimney)
Legolas: Now you hafta get back up the chimney so you can go home and make toys for aaaaaaaaall the kids.
Gandalf: (struggling) You confounded elf, I'm not-- oof!
Legolas: (calls up the chimney) And don't forget I want a Malibu Barbie!

(Elrond is walking through his gardens and watchs Merry pass by him trailing toliet paper, shouting...)
Merry: CHAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOSS!!!!!!!!!
(Pippin follows spraying silly string in every direction)
Pippin: MIIIIIIISCHIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(He starts to spray it in Elrond's face. The Elf Lord justs stands there with no change of expression until Pippin decides he's done. The young Took grins up at Elrond)
Elrond: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Pippin scampers off, Elrond hot on his furry heels)

[Ghâsh]

Bwahaahaha! Cant!....breathe!....

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

*Boromir comes into clearing just before taking the Ring.*
Boromir: *Sings.* "Oh, baby I love your way!"

*Pippin gets bored of the council and decideds to have some fun.*
Elrond: "One of you, must do this." *Silence*
*Music suddenly starts.* * Pippin comes into council yard in a pink tu-tu, losly tied point shoes, plastic wand, and hair done up in a bun, atemting to dance to 'the dance of the sugur plum fairy'.*
*All stare in horror.*
Elrond: *Frozen in horror* "Isn't that Arwen's costume for the up coming performence!? That thing cost me a fortune!!" *Song ends. Pippin bows runs off.*
Gandalf: "Oh, help! What in all Middle-earth was that!?!?!?"
Legolas: *Shudders* "Some on must have taken some serious drugs!"
*At a distence.*
Arwen: "Pippiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Little Devil]

Hehe lol roflmao roflmao

[Eowyn]

*Frodo stirs in his dreams*
Frodo: oh look a frozen guy! Tweak! Hee hee! Tweak!
*Sam looks at Frodo*
Sam: what the…..?
*frodo’s legs thrash wildly as though trying to run*
Frodo: eep meteor! …. Run fast
Sam: I think the black riders are chasing him in his sleep Aragorn!
*Frodo wakes up*
Sam: it’s OK Mr. Frodo there are no black riders.
Frodo: what? Oh no…..I just keep having this dream….I think it’s a dream..
Aragorn: Frodo are you taking that ring to Mordor or not?
Frodo: I’m not Frodo I’m Nat, Erm… Casey no….
*the whole fellowship looks at him*
Frodo: who am I again…. Oohh yes I’m Frodo.

if you don't understand the 'tweak' thing then watch the faculty - its so funny! (I think it was supposed to be scary - opps! :huh: )

Sam: I’ve thought of another poem I could sing
Pippin (whispers to merry): quick think of an excuse!
Merry (whispers to Frodo): we need an excuse. Collapse or something.
*Frodo pretends to collapse to the floor*

legolas: Ai! Ai! A Balrog
pippin: did he just say bog roll?
*legolas clips pippin round the head*
pippin: ouch! You big girl!
**Pippin pulls leggys hair**
Legolas: OH! *****
Merry: oohhh….. CAT FIGHT!
Frodo: JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!

Sam (to local hobbit): Mr. Bilbo always used to say its dangerous stepping out your door!
Local hobbit: no it isn’t.
*steps out of door only to be decapitated by a black rider*
Sam: see I told ya so!

Boromir: seek for the sword that was broken……
Gimli: why on earth do you want a broken sword?

Elrond: bring out the ring, Frodo. The time has come. Hold it up, and then Boromir will understand the remainder of his riddle.
*Frodo places the ring in the centre of the stand*
Boromir: nope, I still don’t get it.

Since everybody else was asking their brothers and sisters I asked my sister. hence the tweak thing it cheers us up.

[Gatsby]

it's a family affair here at the war of the ring!
out
gatsby

[Elrenia]

Originally posted by Merry Monaghan

Merry: *ahem* Right... we are (hands on hips) CHAOS and...
Pippin: (salutes) MISCHIEF!!!



roflmao roflmao roflmao I want more like that one... notworthy


You are really funny Merry :jester:

[Eowyn]

sorry elrenia it isn't like the one you want but it does help explain the "tweak" thing for those who haven't seen the faculty. (his character was on drugs - tweaking :huh: if that helps.)

Frodo: tweak, hee hee! Tweak!
Sam: ok who let frodo eat the magic mushrooms?
*looks at merry and pippin*
Merry and pippin: why do we always get the blame?
*Legolas walks in with some magic mushrooms in his hands*
legolas: Tweak!

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

*Frodo rushes up to Aragorn at Amon hen.*
Frodo: *out of breath.* "Aragorn! I have to tell you something!"
Aragorn: "What!"
Frodo: "Galadriel is dating!!!!"
Aragorn: "w-what!?"
Frodo: "with Celeborn of course!" *Bounces off giggling.*
Boromir: "Huh?"

[Elrenia]

Originally posted by Eowyn
Frodo: tweak, hee hee! Tweak!
Sam: ok who let frodo eat the magic mushrooms?
*looks at merry and pippin*
Merry and pippin: why do we always get the blame?
*Legolas walks in with some magic mushrooms in his hands*
legolas: Tweak!

Aaah, now it makes sense...

xlol roflmao lol roflmao

I like this one...I wish I could write some like yours but since English is not my first language, it would be like bungee jumping without the cord...:elfeek: :blush:

lol

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

*Pippin to Denethor.*
Pippin: "oh, by the way, the Rohirrim aren't coming."
Denethor: "w-w-what?"
Pippin: "Just kidding! " *Bounces off.*

ps. Elrenia, I red your profile, what kind of dancing is that? I must know.

[Elrenia]

Originally posted by Arwen, Elven Princes
*Pippin to Denethor.*
Pippin: "oh, by the way, the Rohirrim aren't coming."
Denethor: "w-w-what?"
Pippin: "Just kidding! " *Bounces off.*

ps. Elrenia, I red your profile, what kind of dancing is that? I must know.

lol lol roflmao good one

Arwen,
it is classical ballet (from age 3 to 18), though I like all type of dance like salsa, flamingo, modern, etc., etc. etc.
:grin: :grin: :grin:

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Really!?!?! that is sooooo cool!!!
And your sig. don't worry, you probalby have the grace of an elf! (maybe even pass off as one)

[Eowyn]

one of my friends has a really elvish look to her. she has the hair! so jealous! :p

[Eowyn]

when Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli see Gandalf again
Legolas: mithrandir
Aragorn: It cannot be!
Gimli: yes it can look he’s standing right there!

Eowyn: do what you will; but I will hinder it if I may.
Witch king: hinder me? Thou fool…….
merry: ooooooh look at that
*points behind the witch king*
witch king: what?
*turns to look*
merry: gotcha! Ha ha!

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

Pippin: “Ok guys I got a plan: “Using mainly Pentium 1’s and 2’s we build a network to hack into the Mordor network to get all their information and it will run on Windows 95!!!”

Aragorn: “’95.’”
Pippin: “That’s it." *Throws paper away.* "I’m out of ideas.”

ps. I got that from a movie and spiced it up.

[Ephel Duath]

Aragorn to Legolas:-Er,dude?Your roots are showin'
Legolas:Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!mecry I left my bleach in Mirkwood!

[Smaugger]

In Rohan:

*phone rings*

Aragorn: *Looks at callers ID and mutters* Elrond. *picks up phone* (loudly) *static* Hello? *static* is this on? *static* closer *static* CLOSER! *static* Turn the phone over *static* MORON! *static* *singing* Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow *slams down phone*

Elrond: Who did I just call?!? :elfeek: :elfeek:

[Eowyn]

Originally posted by Ephel Duath
Aragorn to Legolas:-Er,dude?Your roots are showin'
Legolas:Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!mecry I left my bleach in Mirkwood!


lol lol lol
nnooooo not the roots!
lol roflmao

[Gatsby]

Aragorn to Legolas:-Er,dude?Your roots are showin'
haha! how humorous
out
gatsby

[Smaugger]

Aragorn:Dude, were did you get your arrows?
Legolas: Acadamy....why?
Aragorn: They look cool! :cool:

[Merry Monaghan]

roflmao
You guys are great!! Those are HiLaRiOuS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!roflmao roflmao roflmao

Okay, I believe I have a few...

~~

(Merry prances around Rivendell with an overly large Captain Hook hat tht has a feather as big as him, on his head. Pippin follows wearing Gandalf's hat. They wave streamers around and throw confetti in people's faces)
Merry: Yo ho! YO HO! A pirates life for meeeeeeeeee!
Pippin: We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot!
Merry: (takes a swig of his mug) *hic* Drink UP me hearties, yo ho! *hic*
(They mount a table and chug down seveal pints in seconds, no longer sober)
Pippin: We *hic* kidnap and ravage and *hic* don't give a hoot!
Merry & Pippin: (both drunk) DRINK *hic* UP ME HEARTIES *hic* YO HO!!! (fall over)

(After Pippin asks Aragorn to describe the Paths of the Dead, Aragorn blows out all candes except one and puts his face close to it so he looks spooky and starts to sing)
Aragon: When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake, spooks come out for a swinging wake. Happy haunts materialize and begin to vocalize. Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialiiiiiiiiiiiiiize!
(Eomer comes in, a white sheet covering his head and he starts to freak out Pippin singing as well)
Eomer: Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide, for a silly spook may sit by your side. Shrouded in a daft disguse, they pretend to terrorize. Grim, grinning ghosts come out to socialiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiize!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
(Pippin runs of screaming)

(Legolas decides to cheer up Gimli one day and starts to laugh)
Gimli: What the--?
Legolas: Hee hee hee hee ho ho ho! Boy are we in luck! We're visiting our laughing place.
Gimli: We are?
Leegolas: Huck huck huck huck huck huck huck huck!
Gimli: Whoa elf boy, what are you on?
Legolas: Everbody's got a laughing place, a laughing place to go-ho-ho! Take a smile, wear it for a while and you'll find yours we know-ho-ho!
(Gimli leaves, frightened out of his wits)
Gimli: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaragoooooooooooorn...
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: Leggers is frigtning...
Aragorn: Did he sing you the laughing song?
Gimli: Yes...
Aragorn: *shudders* I lost half my lunc fom that horrifying experiance.
Legolas' voice: BOROMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR! C'mere! I wanna tell sing ya something.
(Aragorn and Gimli's eyes pop open)
Aragorn: BOROMIR IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY, which I doubt exsists, STAY AWAY FROM THE ELF!!!

(As you can tell, I have recently visited Disneyland)

(Boromir examines a thrashed and beaten Furby with its voice box torn out)
Boromir: Merry, what is this?
Merry: recoils) Keep it AWAY!!!!!!!!!!! The rat's possessed! POSSESSED! POSSESSED I TELL YOU!!! DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT I AM SAYING?!
Boromir: Uuuuuuuuuuh...
Merry: FOOL!!! That THING stares at you and tls you to feed it'll want your finger for food! IT'S POSSESSED I TELL YOU!!!

(Gimli pokes a dead guy who was dressed up s the Easter Bunny)
Gimli: Pippin?
Pippin: It was threatening my cuteness status...

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

What does Disnyeland have to do with Leggy's metal problem? please tell us...
But those are very funnly. (sheez, didn't know eomor and aragorn were capable of such horrible things!):elfeek:
roflmao lol

[Belaqua]

Gimli: Nobody tosses a dwarf!
Legolas: Thats not the impression i got last night hon

[Little Devil]

Belaqua, your naughty! :nono: :naughty: but funny

[Pil]

Originally posted by Merry Monaghan

(Boromir examines a thrashed and beaten Furby with its voice box torn out)
Boromir: Merry, what is this?
Merry: recoils) Keep it AWAY!!!!!!!!!!! The rat's possessed! POSSESSED! POSSESSED I TELL YOU!!! DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT I AM SAYING?!
Boromir: Uuuuuuuuuuh...
Merry: FOOL!!! That THING stares at you and tls you to feed it'll want your finger for food! IT'S POSSESSED I TELL YOU!!!

lollollollollol

Originally posted by Merry Monaghan
(Gimli pokes a dead guy who was dressed up s the Easter Bunny)
Gimli: Pippin?
Pippin: It was threatening my cuteness status...

lollollollollol

OMG! YOU'RE A GENIUS! roflmao notworthy lol

[Arwen, Elven Princes]

This one has been in my head and has been boiling for quite some time, my brothers both love it, so here it is!!!

*Saruman examining Lurtz.*
Saruman: *Siniterly. Thoughtfully.* "Hmm, what shall I name him?"
Lurtz: *Low growls, trying to look cool and deadly as possble, expecting something exotic.*
Saruman: *Suddenly. Face lights up with excitment.* "Tommy!! We'll call him Tommy!" *Delicatly pats 'Tommy's' shouler.*
Lurtz: *Eyes widen with horror as Saruman pulles out a pink party dress with a white bow, white hoes, matching pink shoes and a wig identical to Shirley Tempel's hair, along with purple eye shadow, glittery mascara, fushia lipstick and fake long eye lashes.*

[Elrenia]

OMG....You guys are so hilarious !!!!

lol lol lol lol lol lol

You know I very look unsane here at work...laughing alone when everybody think I am working :elfeek: :elfeek: OOOPPPSS

lol lol lol lol lol

[Little Devil]

Naughty, get back to work! Nah Lotr is much more important then work IMO. :p

[Gowpon]

lol lol lol

AEP you are SOOO FUNNY!!!

[Aerandir]

On the way to Mordor Frodo starts singing (Pssst! This in the tune of the Star Wars Gangsta Rap)

A hobbit's gotta do what a hobbit's gotta do, so Sauron, I'm coming for you.

~Aerandir

[Mathew6]

lol ya i downloaded that

um lets see in the mines of moria gimli starts crying at balins grave and then legolas asks him what is wrong and gimi says"he still hasnt paid me back my 20 bucks" boohooo

[Aerandir]

At he council of Elrond

'The ring can not be destroyed by any weapon we here posses, Gimli daughter..son, son of Gloin'


~Aerandir

[Smaugger]

roflmao lol lol lol lol
OK I got one!

When Saruman is make his speech to the Urk-hai:

Wormtough: 507, 508, 509,511...er!!! :angry: :p 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.……..

Saruman: *Turns to Wormtough* There are 1296 of them. :o

Wormtough: *sigh*:mmmm:

[Smaugger]

Originally posted by Arwen, Elven Princes
This one has been in my head and has been boiling for quite some time, my brothers both love it, so here it is!!!

*Saruman examining Lurtz.*
Saruman: *Siniterly. Thoughtfully.* "Hmm, what shall I name him?"
Lurtz: *Low growls, trying to look cool and deadly as possble, expecting something exotic.*
Saruman: *Suddenly. Face lights up with excitment.* "Tommy!! We'll call him Tommy!" *Delicatly pats 'Tommy's' shouler.*
Lurtz: *Eyes widen with horror as Saruman pulles out a pink party dress with a white bow, white hoes, matching pink shoes and a wig identical to Shirley Tempel's hair, along with purple eye shadow, glittery mascara, fushia lipstick and fake long eye lashes.*


roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

[Aerandir]

Frodo

Ok, screw the mission! I want to go to Baggings Burgers!

~Aeranidr

[Gatsby]

haha. you people...
out
gatsby

[Smaugger]

In Moria:

Sam: Frodo!

Frodo: *pulles Sting out*

Sam: Dude! It glows in the dark!!!!;)

[Gowpon]

HAHAHA!!!lol lol

--An orc came up riding a warg--

Frodo: Oh no! Run for your life!!

Sam: But Mr. Frodo, why is it riding a pig?

[Aerandir]

Hrmm...

I'll be dead before I see the ring in the hands of a Dwarve! No, wait I mean Elf!

~Aerandir

[Aerandir]

Here's one.

(On Carhadras after Frodo loses the ring)

Frodo: Dude where's my ring?
Aragorn: Where's your ring dude?
F: Dude where's my ring?
A: Where's your ring dude?
F: Dude where's my ring?
A: Where's your ring dude?
And on and on and on for 5 minutes

lol roflmao lol roflmao lol roflmao lol roflmao

~Aerandir

[Gowpon]

After the five minutes had passed...

Frodo: Dude, where is my ring?

Boromir: Here is your ring DUDE!!!! AND IT'S MINE NOW!!


:naughty: :naughty: :naughty:

[Estel]

Pippin: Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing.

Gandalf: You're absolute right, Master Peregin. You and Merry MUST come along!

[Little Devil]

That's a good one! lol roflmao

[Estel]

Hobbits: No thanks! We'll skip breakfast today. We're not really hungry.

(this one was suggested by my mother, of all people)

[Aerandir]

Originally posted by Gowpon
After the five minutes had passed...

Frodo: Dude, where is my ring?

Boromir: Here is your ring DUDE!!!! AND IT'S MINE NOW!!


:naughty: :naughty: :naughty:


Lol, funny Gowpon


~Aerandir

[Beleglotiel]

Aragorn: Go ahead, make my day!

[Aerandir]

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: I thought I had strayed into a dream
Arwen: You were

~nobody

[Beleglotiel]

Legolas: We should leave now.
Aragorn: No, Teletubies patrol the eastern shore.
Legolas: Okay, now I'm a little worried about the eastern shore.

[Aerandir]

Lol

Sam: Frodo? Mister Frodo!!
Frodo: What's the matter Sam?
Sam: I thought I lost you, I can't sack you if I lose you

[Cuiel Rilwen]

Hirr, hirr..Cuiel crawling up on the chair again after falling in cramps, trying to get her breath back..ok here goes:

Uruk Hai orc after being born from the mud:
What do you meen, we have to go to battle at once? I haven't even done my hair yet, and what about those croisants you promised me?! I'm telling you, I'm not doing any slaughtering 'till I get my first cup of coffe! Now who's borrowed my pink slippers...

[Gowpon]

Orckey: I SAID PINK! NOT THE BLUE ONES!!!! ARRRRGH

Hope Lurtz won't mind...lol :naughty: :cool: :grin: :p

[Eowyn]

lol oh I can't wait to see the response to that! lol

[Aerandir]

lol roflmao lol roflmao lol roflmao lol roflmao lol roflmao !!!!!

~Aerandir