Goldberry, River-Daughter!

[Elfdaughter]

First time EVER in trying to write Quenya. Any help given would be much appreciated!

Goldberry, River-Daughter!

In a dream she walks,
Hair radiant as the sun,
Her melody plays on river-bed rocks,
Her clothes from gold are spun.
As day turns into night,
Upon the fragrant water,
The lilies float,
The river sings,
For Goldberry, River-Daughter!


Laurëpiucca, Sírë-Yendë!
(translation in quenya)

Mi olórë vantas,
Fassë alcarinqua ve Anar,
Linderya tyalin sírë-caima ondonnar,
Collarya laurello nar carna.
Ve aurë ahya minna lómë,
Venya nénanna,
Nénu lutu,
Sírë lirin,
Laurëpiucca, Sírë-Yenden!


Any help much appreciated!
:)

[Tar-Ancalimë]

hmm well i dont know enough quenya to say. it sounds pretty tho, and im very impressed with any one who can write poetry in another language :)

judging by the english translation, its a very nice poem :grin:

[Elfdaughter]

Thanks! Took me AGES to translate it into Quenya!

[Nessa the Dancer]

I like that, especially the 'river-bed rocks' bit.
It's the little things I notice and like.

Very good!