Patricia
February 17th,2003, 11:14 PM
I read the Silmarillion a few months ago, and even though I didn't really like it (please don't kill me, o Silmarillion fans) as far as the actual story, but I really liked the tone of it, and how it was written. I started a fanfiction of my own, and named it Londė, which means land-locked heaven (why I named it that will be apparent in the end :) ) So far I have five chapters, and they can be found here (http://patricia.stormentic.net/writing.html). Anyway, here is the first half of the first chapter.
Please tell me if it's any good. Tell me if it's any "bad" also. :)
Chapter 1
There was Elūndar, the king of all western Silvan elves. Tall and fair he was and some said he was the last heir of Eöl, though he himself was of a different judgment. A wise ruler he was and countless enemies kneeled before him in defeat. He had no spouse, though he was born little after the beginning of the fourth age and it has been many years since the third age and the destruction of the One Ring of Power. All seemed content in his kingdom, though not before recently has he gotten word of the whispers that have been perceived by his counselors. They told Elūndar of Silmarils, the jewels crafted long in the second age. They told him, that someone has discovered a way to resurrect them, for they were not mere stones, but spirits of free will and the fire that burnt in their midst was to burn until they passed away. Elūndar hearkened and did not speak otherwise. He was a wise ruler, but deep inside his blood was the impending for lust.
'Who was it that discovered the means to recreate these precious gems? Bring him before me, be it man, elf or dwarf.' Elūndar said to his counselors, and they hurried off. Days became months and Elūndar grew impatient. He sent yet more riders to seek the unknown one; he gave them stronger horses and better armor and maps of better precision. Time passed, but no one hearkened of any hearsay of any that were sent away. Winter delayed spring, and blossoming summer flowers that fell to the ground and became part of earth were soon followed by the falling autumn leaves. With the arrival of the second spring Deluwiel came into the great hall of Elūndar and spoke.
'It has all been in vain, my lord. Three riders came back only today, none of them brought back the unknown one.' Deluwiel was niece to Elūndar. Elķskareth, Elūndar's brother passed into the shadow from grief, leaving his solitary daughter to his care. Deluwiel was half woman, and though her elven roots granted her unnaturally long life, she was doomed for death, not unlike her mother.
'I desire to have these celebrated crystals, and I care nothing for the troubles I must go through to obtain the recipe of their creation,' said Elūndar as he stood up from his throne in resentment.
'But the riders that came back were the only ones, uncle. Let us hope for the best and await the arrival of the others. Perhaps they would bring back better news.'
Please tell me if it's any good. Tell me if it's any "bad" also. :)
Chapter 1
There was Elūndar, the king of all western Silvan elves. Tall and fair he was and some said he was the last heir of Eöl, though he himself was of a different judgment. A wise ruler he was and countless enemies kneeled before him in defeat. He had no spouse, though he was born little after the beginning of the fourth age and it has been many years since the third age and the destruction of the One Ring of Power. All seemed content in his kingdom, though not before recently has he gotten word of the whispers that have been perceived by his counselors. They told Elūndar of Silmarils, the jewels crafted long in the second age. They told him, that someone has discovered a way to resurrect them, for they were not mere stones, but spirits of free will and the fire that burnt in their midst was to burn until they passed away. Elūndar hearkened and did not speak otherwise. He was a wise ruler, but deep inside his blood was the impending for lust.
'Who was it that discovered the means to recreate these precious gems? Bring him before me, be it man, elf or dwarf.' Elūndar said to his counselors, and they hurried off. Days became months and Elūndar grew impatient. He sent yet more riders to seek the unknown one; he gave them stronger horses and better armor and maps of better precision. Time passed, but no one hearkened of any hearsay of any that were sent away. Winter delayed spring, and blossoming summer flowers that fell to the ground and became part of earth were soon followed by the falling autumn leaves. With the arrival of the second spring Deluwiel came into the great hall of Elūndar and spoke.
'It has all been in vain, my lord. Three riders came back only today, none of them brought back the unknown one.' Deluwiel was niece to Elūndar. Elķskareth, Elūndar's brother passed into the shadow from grief, leaving his solitary daughter to his care. Deluwiel was half woman, and though her elven roots granted her unnaturally long life, she was doomed for death, not unlike her mother.
'I desire to have these celebrated crystals, and I care nothing for the troubles I must go through to obtain the recipe of their creation,' said Elūndar as he stood up from his throne in resentment.
'But the riders that came back were the only ones, uncle. Let us hope for the best and await the arrival of the others. Perhaps they would bring back better news.'