Thoughts of the week

[Melian the Maia]

The bathtub was invented in 1850. The telephone was invented in 1875.This might not seem like much,but if you had lived back then,you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without being bothered by the phone.


Hard work never killed anyone,but why risk it?


Time is a great teacher,but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.


Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking


A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

[TheRingBearer]

Nice, yes very interesting. I like the time one ;)
Here's one of mine:

Practice makes perfect but no ones perfect so why practice.

:grin:

[Rumil]

The early bird is welcome to the bloody worm

[Daisy Gamgee]

Things which matter most must not be at the mercy of things which matter least.

And one for the girls
Don't cry for the man who just left you, the next one may fall for your smile. :grin:

[Sindarin]

Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere.

[Illuvatar]

When your looking for something you've lost, you will always find it in the last place you look. :p

[Rumil]

lol deep illuvatar, very deep

[Bonos-Girl]

but oh so true! lol

hmmm.....i hjave some of these.....like:
the more i study the more i know,
the more i know the more i forget,
the more i forget the less i know
So why should i study!?

lol....i love that one...and it makes perfect sense!

[Ralenquil]

"Through sheer random chance, my employer may someday agree with something I say."

"There are not many problems that cannot be solved by the suitable application of high explosives."

"To fulfil all of your daily nutritional requirements you would need to drink a glass of orange juice, two glasses of milk, and 47 pints of Guinness."

"1911A1-- The Ultimate "Point & Click" User interface."

"Destroyed in 30 minutes, or your next one is free."
- U.S. Marines
"When it absolutely, positively, has to be destroyed overnight."
- U.S. Air Force

"The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better".
So I installed Linux..."

"If you drop a cartridge on your foot and it doesn't hurt, your gun ain't big enough."

"I am Dyslexic of Borg, Your *** will be Laminated."

"Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before."

"Cooking is great - it's a socially acceptable excuse to play with knives and fire."

"Windows is not a virus. A virus actually does something, and generally gets better technical support."

"Military Intelligence is a highly refined organisation of overwhelming generalities based on vague assumptions and debatable figures drawn from undisclosed activities pursued by persons of diverse motivation and questionable mentality in the midst of unimaginable confusion."

"They didn't call him Erik Bloodaxe because he was good with children."

[Catz]

if things appear to be going well, and you seem to be totally in control............you obviously dont understand the situation

engage brain before opening mouth

51% sweetheart, 49% *****........dont push it

from Murphys Laws for Grunts:
if the advance is going smoothly........its an ambush

how to get a man to do an ab crunch?
stick the remote between his toes ;) (sorry......sexist i know)

without light, there are no shadows

and my favourite
you love because you love, not because youre loved (and yes, i heard that one long before Adaptation lol )

:catz:

[SindarinGirl]

MARINE: Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Non-Essential
* I really do support all our Armed Forces, but that's too funny not to pass along. :grin:

"Help, I'm becoming the man I wanted to marry!"

It's not the person who has too little, it's the person who always craves more, that is poor.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

You all laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.
*This is not directed at anyone here! It's a postcard I have taped to my printer at work.

[Tári Celebrindal]

"Nobody is perfect.
I am a nobody.
Therefore I am perfect." lol

"Early to rise and early to bed
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead"

The early worm gets eaten.

[Bonos-Girl]

i love the first one tari! lol

[TheRingBearer]

lol these are great. I had a few more but I can't remember them.

[Bonos-Girl]

i have loadsa cool things like that..i always read them and try and rememerb and then forget!

there are some cool U2 lyrics though....some examples:

'so we are told this is the golden age,
and gold is the reason for the wars we wage'
..particularly fitting at the moment i think

'in my dream i was drowning my sorrows,
then my sorrows, they learned to swim'

and loads loads more! lol...i sonud like an advert!

[Rumil]

If at first you don't succeed do something easier

[Illuvatar]

Love hurts........lonliness hurts worse.

[Nessa the Dancer]

'If grandmother would have had a beard, she would have been a grandfather'

Hmmmm that's one to ponder lol

[Melian the Maia]

*laughs at Nessa's post*


Oh my,I don't think I want to visualize that :rolleyes:

[Melian the Maia]

'Not only does my mind wander,sometimes it leaves completely'

[SindarinGirl]

Originally posted by Nessa the Dancer
'If grandmother would have had a beard, she would have been a grandfather'

Hmmmm that's one to ponder lol

You're talking about Dwarf women again, aren't you? lol

Shoot for the moon - if you miss, you'll end up amongst the stars!

[Catz]

one courtesy of Ogden Nash

i think that i shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree
in fact unless the billboards fall
ill never see the trees at all

and short and sweet:
work is a 4 letter word

:catz:

[Sindarin]

A job isn't truly "a job" until you hate it.

[Aubrey]

This is my "depressed stance." When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this. -Charlie Brown

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think: Hey, maybe I wrote that.

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

I merely observe that all living things are manipulated. As long as there is a will, it is bent and twisted constantly. Only the dead are allowed the luxury of freedom, and then only because they want nothing, and therefore can't be thwarted.

When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them, they show us the state of our decay.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.

No man treats a motor car as foolishly as he treats another human being. When the car will not go, he does not attribute its annoying behavior to sin, he does not say, "You are a wicked motorcar, and I shall not give you any more petrol until you go." He attempts to find out what is wrong and set it right.

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

Sorry if that's too long.. :blush:

[Lady Arien]

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

LIfe is too short to dance with ugly men.

[Arkenstone]

Well, after reading a post elsewhere from Lady Arien, I was
reminded of High School and this one I got from a book she
was reading...

"The passage of time is tricky when deep sedation blankets
the mind."

Ohwa......Tajer......Kiam (the stuntman's chant)

Plants aren't food...plants are food's food!
(yes, I still eat my veggies!)

Whan your date gets out of the car, and a minute later you
hear a scrape on the roof, start the car and get out of there!
Don't go look!!!

[Mirkgirl]

hmmm I have a nice collection of few hundrets of quotes.... there are some of my favourites:

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. /Garrison Keillor/
The reverse side also has a reverse side. /Japanese Proverb/
I am not young enough to know everything. /Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)/
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. /Noel Coward/
There are more fools in the world than there are people. /Heinrich Heine/
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. /Elbert Hubbard/
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. /Lily Tomlin/
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. /Tom Lehrer/
To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation. /Georg Christoph Lichtenberg/
Television is for appearing on - not for looking at. /Noel Coward/
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. /Henny Youngman/
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. /Paul Beatty/
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. /Mark Twain/
Silence is the virtue of fools. /Sir Francis Bacon/
'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. /Abraham Lincoln/
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right./Isaac Asimov/
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. /Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)/
Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability. /Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 AD - 43 AD)/
The great aim of education is not knowledge but action. /Herbert Spencer/
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. /Lucille Ball/
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. /Russell Baker/
You're never too old to become younger. /Mae West (1892 - 1980)/
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. /Michael Pritchard/
In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation. /Roger Allen/

Well now that was long.......

My personal thoughts -
"If something in your head says jump, jump, that's the best advice you'd ever get"
"What you did was the best of the situation, but if you know better decision you can make it the next time"

[Little Devil]

'I have nothing to declare, but that I'm a genius' I think that was Oscar Wilde. ;)

[Nessa the Dancer]

'An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing'

'Defeat is not the worst failure. Not to have tried is the true failure'

[Tári Celebrindal]

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever is left however improbable, must be the truth.

If at first you succeed...try to hide your astonishment.

[Bonos-Girl]

'to be absolutely suer about something you have to know either nothing or everything about the subject'

(from my head so probably not quite the right wording as was originally said...)


there are no good guns,
there are no bad guns,
a gun in teh hands of a bad man is a bad thing,
a gunin the hands of any good man is no threat to anyone except bad people

kinda true...but also kinda not....guns can be used in the wrong way by good peopel too....

[Melian the Maia]

You people know a lot of good sayings and quotes ;)

[Bonos-Girl]

like a lot of my knowledge they seem to beuseless unless on a forum unfortunately!

[Melian the Maia]

Awww,don't say that :)

[TheRingBearer]

I don't know if these have been posted but here's some Simpson ideology lol

'If something is hard to do then its not worth doing' - Homer Simpson.

'Can't win, don't try' - Bart Simpson

'You tried you best and failed miserably. The lesson is...never try' - Homer Simpson.

lol

[Nessa the Dancer]

'The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do'

'The fearless are merley fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truely brave'

'Use what talent you posses, the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang the best'

'A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant, may see further than the giant himself'.

Now I'm back to dwarves again...so I will shut up now for a bit lol

[SindarinGirl]

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

[Rumil]

The brave are often those who are too stupid to be afraid at the right time

[Nessa the Dancer]

'The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem'
~Theodore Rubin~

'Challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful’
~Joshua J Martine~

‘Every exit is an entry somewhere’
~/Tom Stoppard~

‘The Pure and Simple truth is rarely pure and never simple’
~Oscar Wild~

[Rumil]

Every silver lining has a cloud

[Melian the Maia]

Originally posted by SindarinGirl
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.



I totally agree with that one *LOL*
Well said SindarinGirl ;)

[Nessa the Dancer]

~Kima's Rules~
Never judge a day by the weather
The best things in life aren't things
Always tell the truth, there's less to remember
Goals are deceptive - the unaimed arrow never misses.

Kind hearts are like gardens:
kind thoughts are the roots,
kind words are the blossoms
kind deeds are the fruits
~Kirpal Singh

'A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice'
~Edgar Watson Howe

'Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better' ~Samual Becket~

[Bonos-Girl]

the woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle one i was about say....people alwayw get there first! lol...its in a U2 song.....hehe

[Little Devil]

Originally posted by TheRingBearer
I don't know if these have been posted but here's some Simpson ideology lol

'If something is hard to do then its not worth doing' - Homer Simpson.

'Can't win, don't try' - Bart Simpson

'You tried you best and failed miserably. The lesson is...never try' - Homer Simpson.

lol

I love Homer's quote saying if something is hard, then it' not worth doing. Now why don't people take notice of that? lol ;)

[Rumil]

Homer (Simpson I mean - not that dead Greek dude) is one of the great under rated philosophers of the century. I aspire to his incompetence lol

[SindarinGirl]

Who can argue with "mmmm, beer"? :beer:

lol

It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.

"The important thing is to never stop questioning. Curiosity has it's own reason for existing." A. Einstein

[Nessa the Dancer]

‘I know of a no more disagreeable situation than to be left feeling generally angry, without anybody in particular to be angry at’

‘The difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking oneself seriously: The first is imperative, the second is disastrous’
~Margrate Fontayne~

‘Think the unthinkable because the answer is often behind you’
~Unthinkable Solutions – radio comedy~

‘When everyone is Somebody then no-one is Anybody’
~Colin Dexter~

‘Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis’
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

[Bonos-Girl]

dubya's philosophy:
they must have hidden the weapons cos we can't find any

homer's philosophy:
mmm....beer

which makes more sense?! hehe says a lot about the wordl...cartoon characters making more sense than major world leaders....

[Ludibunda]

Pastor to son (who is nagging for attn): Shut up kid! You're bothering me! I'm trying to write a sermon on love!

[TheRingBearer]

lol Great ;)

[Nessa the Dancer]

lol yea, I like that!

'Speak softly and carry a big stick, you'll go far'
~T Roosevelt~

'If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room'
I can vouch for that one!

'Don't let life discourage you, everyone who got where he is, had to begin where he was'
~Richard L Evans~

'I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I intended to be'
~Douglas Adams~

[Bonos-Girl]

i like loadsa douglas adams ones from hitchhikers guide....like:

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.


In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move.

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. (my personla fave)

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.


This planet (Earth) has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.


The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.



"Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again." -- Marvin the paranoid android


"The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'
'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed at the next pedestrian crossing."

[SindarinGirl]

If they can put one man on the moon, why not all of them?

[Nessa the Dancer]

Originally posted by Bonos-Girl

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.


lol I love that quote.

'One good thing about repeating a mistake, is that you know when to cringe'
~Doug Larson~

'Remember the kettle. Though always in hot water, it whistles and sings'

'An Archaeologist is the best husbad a woman can have: the older she gets, the more intrested he his in her'
~Agatha Chiristie~

'The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about'
~Oscar Wild~

[TheRingBearer]

How do you know you're paranoid if you're forever looking backwards

lol

[Illuvatar]

If the black box used in an ariplane is indestructable, why don't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

[Bonos-Girl]

i love oscar wilde quotes so here's another one:

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris.

[Elbereth]

Life would be so boring without insanity

[Little Devil]

Very true. ;) :thumbs:

[TheRingBearer]

"Happiness is like wetting yourself. Everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth" lol lol ;)

Sorry I just had to bring that one up :rolleyes:

[Bonos-Girl]

lol...thats a brillianr thought of the week!!

[TheRingBearer]

:grin: thanx

[Little Devil]

lol lol lol, that is brilliant. :hooray: lol roflmao omg that slayed me.

[Galadriel]

Oh these are really great you guys.
When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us

Sometimes there are no next times, no time outs, no second chances, sometimes it's now or never

You never know what_is going to happen next, so make the best of today, smile at yesterday, and look onto tomorrow with an open mind and a strong_heart

"Life is a mixture of Sunshine and rain, Teardrops and laughter,_Pleasure and pain"

Life is like Fresh fall snow, be careful where you walk, for every step will show.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar

[Enelya]

these are great quotes guys:thumbs:


do not follow where the path may lead-go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

the art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook

forget yourself for othrs and others will not forget you

its the little things in life that determine the big things

the heart is happiest when it beats for others

love sees through a telescope not a microscope

silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute

the best antique is an old friend

whether you think you can think or think you cant, youre right

be like a postage stamp-stick to one thing till you get there

the only way to have a friend is to be one

[Eáránë]

Here's a Q and A:

Q: Who's the band that played in Not Another Teen Movie???
(answer @ the bottom)

Here's something to think about

Age is a mind over matter... You don't mind... It don't matter

A to Q: It's GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!!!

[Enelya]

got this one from my history teacher

*a counciler is talking to a group of mentally insane people*
"why are you all here?"
a man answers"because we're not all there" (*points to head*)

[Bonos-Girl]

lol...i oove these quotes!!

[Galadriel]

How about this:
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It's means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you've imagined

Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play and we live unrehearsed

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

[Enelya]

just got this funny quote :grin:

its easy to identify people who cant count to ten. theyre in front of you in the supermarket express lane

[YayBoromir!]

How about this one? We have it hanging up in our bathroom for some reason :rolleyes:

There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

[Galadhrim]

roflmao I love these last two! roflmao

[Little Devil]

These are really good, some thoughtful one's with true meanings of life,and the humerous one's , I love them both. :thumbs:

[Cuthalion]

"I would give up everything I own for just a little bit more"
"I'm so ugly, that's OK cause so are you.." Kurt Cobain
" Don't drink alcohol... there's little left and we're too many"
"Women and dolphins are alike cause evrybody knows they have a language but no one understands it" (sorry, girls)
"Truth is a virus" Hard Harry
"Never underestimate the power of denial" (from "American beauty")

[Eáránë]

haha.. i remember that 1 enelya (the we're not all there 1)...... heres another 1 from our history teacher.... "i am a post modern american.. it is not my fault, i am not responsible, i am an innocent victim".. ugh... i hope he doesn't do that on our next test...

[Undomiel]

Ah Kurt Cobain the master of mysterious lyrics, but i think this line is great:

"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you"

Some others:

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything"
"Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped"
"In war, whichever side may call itself the victor, there are no winners, but all are losers"
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend"
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted"
"DON'T PANIC" (hitch hikers guide to the galaxy)

[YayBoromir!]

I love that first one, Undomiel, it's great lol I should tell that to my friend who is totally paranoid...LOL

[Undomiel]

lol yeah tis good. I've always loved that line. :grin:

[Cuthalion]

"Richards" are called "Rich" or "Dick", therefore if you're Rich you are a....

[Eáránë]

here's one...
If pro is the opposite of con
Than is progress the opposite of congress?

[Elleth]

I like that last one Earane!roflmao

[Enelya]

yah good one!lol

[Ludibunda]

You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

[Ludibunda]

Worry is the misuse of imagination.

[Bonos-Girl]

you could've posted them in the same post..or edited your previous post.

[Little Devil]

I really like that one Ludibunda, very good. :thumbs:

[Nessa the Dancer]

I haven't been to this thread for ages....all these are brilliant!

'Laugh at yourself before others do, and they'll have no need'

'How heavy the empty heart, how light the heart that is full'

A few from Groucho Marx:

'Although I think it is generally well known, I think it is about to announce that I was born at a very early age'.

'The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made'.

'A black cat crossing your path, signifies that the animal is going somewhere'.

And a couple from Bernard Shaw:

'There are two tragadies in life:
One is not to get your heart's desire,
The other is to get it'

'Even the youngest of us can be wrong sometimes'

[Rumil]

How about:

Banish your feelings of unimportance by becoming President of the United States

Find out who you are by going up to someone who knows you and saying 'Hello, who am I?'

[Tári Celebrindal]

"Don’t be so humble - you are not that great." - Golda Meir to a visiting diplomat lol

"I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it." - Steven Wright

"I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying." - Woody Allen

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before." - Mae West (I like this one...lol :wicked: )

"The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you." - Kin Hubbard