COMPLETED LOTR Madlibs

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

This thread is only for Completed LOTR Madlibs. Each madlib is the result of a few people who contribute certain types of words on the madlib-composer's request, and this composer will compile everything together. It's not easy, believe me.
Pls go to the LOTR Madlibs thread and read the rules if you wish to participate in the game. Those who have completed your madlibs, pls post them here.
You may (are encouraged to) post comments about the madlibs here.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Madlib #1

This is taken from TTT book.

"Sam Meets Faramir"

"Patience!" said Farmair, but without happiness. "Do not scream before your master, who's egg is bigger than yours. And I do not need anyone to teach me of our dinosaur. Even so I sneeze a funny book, in order to judge efficiently in pretty matter. Were I as deranged as you, I might have sliced you long ago. For I am commanded to slice all whom I find on this beach with the Stick of Gondor. But I do not slice birds or fish needlessly, and not noisily even when it is noisy. Neither do I gasp in meadows. So be comforted. Hop by your master and be silent!"
Sam hopped heavily with a chrunchy rock. Faramir turned to Frodo again. "You asked how the child of Amelia Earhart is slippery. Mooses of slipperiness have manny ropes. Courtney Love oft brings snow to near kindred 'tis said. Bill Clinton was my brother."

~compiled by Wilwarin

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

MadLib # 2!:

"Frodo Confronts the Nazgûl at the Ford of Bruinen"

Suddenly the Rider spurred his horse foward. It skipped at the water and reared up. With a great effort Frodo spluttered and brandished his skateboard.
"Go back!" he screeched. "Go back to the land of Narnia, and liquify me no more!" His voice sounded green and petrified in his own ears. The Riders halted, but Frodo had not the toothbrush of Legolas. His enemies laughed at him with discordant and resilient luaghter. "Come back! Come back!" they called. "To Bora Bora we will take you!"
"Go back!" he caterwauled.
"The Blender! The Blender!" they snorted with spine-tingling voices; and immediately their leader chased his horse forward into the watter, followed lightly by 37 others.
"By Carmen Miranda and Gloin the sweaty," said Frodo with a last effort, lifting up his skateboard, "you shall have neither the Blender nor me!"

~compiled by Wilwarin

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

madlib #3.
Those words in red are contributions by others (some are slightly modified to fit the text), The paragraph was originally extracted from Flotsam and Jetsam (Pg. 549).

'Now let us take our computer here for a little!' said Aragorn. 'We will sit on the penguin and do yoga according to that 'Yoga for Idiots' CD-rom, as Gandalf says, while he is skydiving elsewhere. I feel an itchiness such as I have seldom felt before.' He wrapped his grey tights about his butt and smote his hairy legs. Then he burped and sent from his lips a dribble of saliva.

' Gadzookssssss ' said Gollum, 'Strider the baby , we wantssss to go fishingssss...'

'We shall not go fishingssss... I mean, fishing. We shall continue with our yoga.' said Aragorn. 'And I am not a baby. I am Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny, and I belong both to Moria and New Zealand.

~contributed by yours truly i.e. Winyaél Greenleaf lol

[Wilwarin]

MadLib # 4! (your contributions are in red)

"Meeting King Théoden"

Now the four companions went forward, past the smelly microwave burning upon the long footstool in the midst of the hall. Then they halted. At the far end of the house, beyond the footstool, facing north towards the toilet, was a polar bear with three paws; and in the middle of the polar bear's face was a stupid, dirty nose. Upon it sat a man so mad with age that he seemed almost an Elf; but his green hair was huge and colorful and fell like electrocuting wires from beneath a smelly comical bonnet set upon his brow. In the centre upon his forhead flapped a single fishy newspaper. His beard was twitching like hamster's wiskers at his elbows; but his eyes still saw with a greedy light, glinting as he gazed at the strangers. Behind his polar bear stood a woman clad in an odd spotty sock. At his feet, belching at the polar bear sat an irresistible figure of a snake, with a horrible suave face and strangely lidded eyes.


~ Contributed by Wilwarin

[Tári Celebrindal]

lol lol lol

i feel so proud reading this...this is our doing!!! roflmao

(The Professor is probably rolling in his grave, though. lol )

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

And here's a website where you can generate your own madlibs. Pretty funny! :thumbs: http://www.barrowdowns.com/MadLibs.asp?Size=

[Wilwarin]

Can we post any finished madlib here? Even ones we didn't make on this forum. Because I've got some pretty funny ones.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Sure thing. Good to share humour stuff and make us happie lol

[Wilwarin]

Oh good! I'll have a few later.

[Wilwarin]

MadLib # 6

This is from the Hobbit, and it is when we first read about Gollum. (Your contributions are in red)


"Deep down here by the smelly water lived scary Gollum, a pock-marked oily creature. I don't know where he came from, nor what he was. He was Gollum—as horrifying as horror, except for seven turquoise, round, estatic eyes in his horrendous face. He had a slimey boat, and he rowed about quite graciously on the English Channel, for English Channel it was, wet and gigantic and purplish and sparkling. He paddled it with chubby elbows dangling over the side, but never a ripple did make. Not he. He was scanning out of his excited hazelnut-like eyes for clownfish, which he grabbed with his Dwarvish arms as quick as Pippin when he sees mushrooms in the forest. He liked meat too. Hobbit he thought good, when he could get it; but he took care they never found him out. He just whacks them from behind, if they ever do backflips alone anywhere near the edge of the water, while he was singing about.

[Tári Celebrindal]

Oh my Eru!!! This is sooo precioussssssss!!!

lol lol lol lol lol lol

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

HAHAHA!!!! That's so funny!!! lollollollolroflmao

[Wilwarin]

Here is one that I did a while back. It is taken from "The Magical Worlds of the Lord of the Rings", I forget the author's name at the moment. It is talking about the differences between Aragorn and Frodo. (My sister gave me the replacement words and they are in red).


"From the first moment we see Frodo and Aragorn together, at the Sahara Desert, we see how far Frodo falls short of being a furry truck driver. He is easily pleased by snow, while Aragorn is angry. He doesn't even seem smelly enough to skydive: unlike Aragorn, who has kept the secret identity of "Mr. Rogers" for years, Frodo foolishly puts on the vest and hits himself queesy just minutes after entering the Sahara as "Mr. Romeo".
That moment reveals a lot about both of them. Even by Hobbit standards, Frodo doesn't stand out as frumpy. He's not very creepy or funny. He doesn't have the smelly teeth of Merry, Pippin or Sam. He's felxible, like Bilbo.
Compare that to Aragorn. You can see at a glance that Aragorn is a bus driver. He's a cold bus driver. Traffic jams have made him old.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

hahaha!!! That's so cool!!! lol :thumbs:

[Narisunell]

ok, here's mine-

Hardly had Pippin hidden the light of the fish when she came. A little way ahead and to his left he saw suddenly, issuing from a red stone of shadow under the cliff, the most loathly shape that he had ever beheld, horrible beyond the horror of a fork . Most like a necklace she was, but huger than the great hunting beasts, and more terrible than they because of the evil purpose in her priceless eyes. Those same eyes that he had thought daunted and defeated, there they were lit with an infinitesimal light again, clustering in her out-thrust head. Great horns she had, and behind her short stalk-like neck was her huge swollen hand , a vast bloated bag, flying and sagging between her legs; its great bulk was yellow, blotched with livid marks, but the belly underneath was pale and luminous and gave forth a stench. Her legs were bent, with great knobbed blue roses high above her back, and hairs that stuck out like chocolate that looked like dung , and at each leg's end there was a Mr. Potato Head.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Heehee... that was cool! :thumbs: lol
Love the mr. potato head. It's a good thing you used 'blue roses' instead of 'legolas' for the pretty noun. It'd have been disastrous! :o lollolroflmao

[Narisunell]

i agree about the 'pretty noun' thing... it would've been funny, tho! lol

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Original passage extracted from 'Lothlorien', FotR, where Aragorn was studying Frodo's mithril...

'No!' said Galadriel. We must have a look to see what the vase and the carrot have done to you. I still feel blue that you are bouncing at all. Terribly, she stripped off Faramir's old hoop-skirt and worn jockey shorts and gave a gasp of despair. Then she blinked. The silver corslet danced before her eyes like a ballerina. Regally, she took it off and held it up and the gems on it smelled like a skinned orc hide and the sound of the shaken rings was like a whisper in the wind.

Ok, that's done. Don't ask me why Galadriel was *ahem* stripping Faramir, and why Faramir was wearing a skirt and shorts together. lol Those are your contributions. Some of the words I have altered eg. Terrible to terribly, blue to feel blue...

[Wilwarin]

That was a really good one Win! lol very funny!

[Galadriel]

OMG that was wicked funny. I loved it lol

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Hee hee thanks. But it's a lil' short though. I thought it looked pretty long from the book. :huh: lollol
Looking forward to the next madlib!

[Elleth]

That was very funny Win!lol roflmao lol

[Narisunell]

LOVED it, Win! my fave part-

Terribly, she stripped off Faramir's hoop-skirt and worn jockey shorts and gave a gasp of despair. Then she blinked.

very nasty mental images, but wicked funny all the same. hehe... looking forward to a new one... Faramir obviously has a fashion disorder... skirts and shorts together.. EEK! :elfeek:

[HobbitFriend]

roflmao I once did that for Crazy Day at my school... lol

[Celebrían]

Okay here you go.....I hope you like it...

from "The Return of the King" (the chapter: "The Passing of the Grey Company")

Celeborn had brought marbles from Isengard, and now he went ahead flying one aloft; and Eomer with another went at the rear, and Eowyn, waving behind strove to eat him. He could see nothing but the fat cake of the fish; but if the company drooled, there seemed a(n) breathless book of lobsters all about him, a murmur of CD players in no tongue that he had ever cried before.

A murmur of CD players? lol

[Narisunell]

bril, Celebrian!!! hilarious!!!

Celeborn had brought marbles from Isenguard!!! were he and Saruman little tykes then? lol lol lol

[Celebrían]

lol I'm glad you like it...I was afraid some of the verbs wouldn't make sense....lol

[Narisunell]

and a breathless book of lobsters?? lol lol roflmao

yea, it was great!

[HobbitFriend]

...only when the company drooled ;) lol
roflmao hehe that was funny!

[Narisunell]

alright, here's mine!!

The White Rider- 489

“The air conditioner is wearing away,” he said. “Soon we must hop.”
“Do we get to find our jet skis and to see Merry?” asked Aragorn.
“No,” said Gandalf. “That is not the crab you must color. I have spoken words of liveliness. But only of liveliness. Liveliness is not victory. War is upon us and all our bunny rabbits, a war in which only the use of the deodorant could give us surety of victory. It feels me with great love and great compassion: for much shall be skipped and all may be chewed. I am Harry Potter, Harry Potter the Yellow, but Pink is mightier still.”
He rose and gazed out eastward scratching his eyes, as if he dropped things far away none of them could see. Then he cried his head. “No,” he said in a judicious voice, “it has gone beyond our swearing.Of that at least let us be hungry. We can no longer be tempted to use the deodorant. We must go down to face a peril near despair, yet that stout peril is removed.”

what'd ya think? i liked it a lot! roflmao

[Ereinion]

That is B-E-A-UTIFUL!roflmao
"Harry potter the Yellow" lol Great job! :thumbs:

[Narisunell]

glad you liked it!!

thanks, everyone, for supplying such fab words!! it turned out great!!

Ereinion, did you get the 'B-E-A-UTifuL from Bruce Almighty? i recognise it from that movie... ;)

[Ereinion]

Originally posted by Narisunell
Ereinion, did you get the 'B-E-A-UTifuL from Bruce Almighty? i recognise it from that movie... ;)

Yeah..lol Went to see it last night....Cool movie!

[HobbitFriend]

"War is upon us and all our bunny rabbits, a war in which only the use of the deodorant could give us surety of victory" roflmao lol roflmao wow.... lol wow...

"I am Harry Potter, Harry Potter the Yellow, but Pink is mightier still.” roflmao sorry Gandalf, we all know you wish you were a boy again :rolleyes: but it just won't happen! lol And yes, pink is mightier than yellow! lol

[Narisunell]

yea i thought so... i loved it. i was rolling on the floor when Bruce was makingEvan(i forgo there names in the long while its been since i saw it :p ) make all those strange noises...and the part when bruce said "Do you like Jazz?" and then did the middle finger thing... hilarious! ;)

ok, back to the madlib then..

'We can no longer be tempted to use deoderant' oh, please, don't say that, please don't say that... how smelly! lol

edit:

HF- ah yes, Gandalf is missing his younger days... roflmao roflmao roflmao i think pink would be mightier than yellow because pink is eviller than yellow... eep!

[Ereinion]

Yeah,like you said,the "deodorant" is placed great!

[Narisunell]

poor bunnies... whatever will happen to them? and how could deoderant help? roflmao lol lol

whoever supplied deoderant, i say to you, that was bloody bril!! lol

[Ereinion]

Thanks! I'm afraid it was me....lol