Battle of the Quotes

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Ok, so here's the deal.

Lalaith and I decided to have a battle of quotes from a number of tv series and films and stuff. We are currently on Blackadder and we agreed that it would be fun to let anyone and everyone get involved if they can. So the rules are simple. The series will be set at various stages of the game and only quotes from that series are allowed until someone calls a truce.

If you know the series in question then add a quote. If not just sit back and have a laugh at some of the quotes people come up with. As I have said, the current series we are quoting is Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson et al) and quotes can be chosen from any of the four series (or indeed the special edition episodes if it takes your fancy). As this is the start of the thread, any of the quotes that Lalaith and I already before this are up for grabs so it all starts again here!

Have fun people and get quoting!

Nonsense! He's as sane as I am! Baaaaaaaaah!

p.s. duplicate quotes will result in the perpetrator being thoroughly pumped by Captain Darling in the debriefing room....

-Not while I still have my strength he won't...

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Good morning Darling.

- That's Captain Darling to you Blackadder!

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

You'll have to go undercover! you'll need some sort of wound, a convincing wound.... (draws pistol and shoots Captain Darling in the foot)
Yes! That looks quite convincing!

[Lalaith]

'Who was that, then?'

Starngely enough, Baldrick, it was Pope Gregory IX aboard his steamyacht, the Saucy Sue, currently wintering in Montego Bay with the England cricket team and the Balinese Goddess of plenty.'

'Really?'

'No, not really.'

[Lalaith]

'Two things must ye know about the wise woman. First she is a woman! Second she is...'

'Wise?'

'Oh, so you do know her then!'

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Red Hot Sex Madrigal in the Middle of My Tights - and many many more...

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

I shall go to London, disguise myself as a boy and seek my fortune!

-Well why go all the way to London when you can make a fortune lying on yer back?

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

It is better to die in poverty than to live in shame and ignomany!

-No it isn't!

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

He is trying to tell you that you appear to be wearing a pair of DEVIL'S DUMPLINGS!

-Oh my god my ear muffs have fallen down!

[Lalaith]

I have a cunning plan to get us out of getting killed.

Oh really? Is it as cunning as a fox who has just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Nobody is speak without my express permission. Is that understood?

.......


I said is that understood?


...............

(sighs) Permission to speak.....

-Yes sir! Absolutely Sir.....

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Smith, have you seen anyone who could be a German spy?

-Nein

Nine??!?!? Well the captain's really got his work cut out!

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

You can't suspect meeee of being a German spy! I know all four verses to god save the queen.....

-Five verses!

Five verses! I have a girlfriend named Doris. I'm as British as Queen Victoria!

-So! Your father's German, you're half German and you married a German!!...

[Lalaith]

"Baldrick, what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?"

"Oh, that's easy. I'd go out and get a nice little turnip of my own."

[Lalaith]

"There's a large orange hedge moving this way."

"No, sir, that's the Scots."


"Last one in gets beaten to death by Rod Stewart's great-great-grandfather!"

[Lalaith]

"You are a girl. And a girl with about as much talent for disguise as a giraffe with dark glasses trying to get into a polar bear-only golf club."

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

So everyone who comes in here has to have their bottom fondled by this drooling pervert (indicates Captain Darling)?

-I'm only doing my job Blackadder

Then how fortunate that your job is also your hobby!

[Lalaith]

"And that's for Ken Branagh's four hour version of Hamlet"

"Who's Ken Branagh?"

"I'll tell him you said that!"

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

lol Great stuff! Sorry Lalaith, i have to head off for the minute, things to do, people to see. Hope your next exam goes ok and I'll see you (and I hope many others) on the thread later or tomorrow.

Toodle-pip! :p

[Lalaith]

This is going to be art's greatest moment since Mona Lisa sat down & told Leonardo da Vinci she was in a slightly odd mood.

[Lalaith]

"If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?"

"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

I wanna wimple!

-well you should have gone before we started!

[Lalaith]

See ya A.L.L!! And think long and hard bout all those great Blackadder moments!

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Oh I shall, I shall!