Glorfindle
July 12th,2002, 05:18 AM
Here is a reply I made to my friend Bill, regarding his serious post on the redeemability of Orcs. It is very satirical:
I agree Bill, the orcs soon became a 'high race' after their dalliance with the editors of the 'Harvard Lampoon'. Once the smoke cleared, the 'Uruk High' found themselves way 'left' of Mordor, and were considering a guest spot on 'Saturday Night Live'.
To the consternation of Sauron, his 'mouth', raised his own funds, (mostly from writing campaign speeches for republicans) and decided to debate the fate of Middle-earth on the 'Capitol Gang'.
Aaron Brown became enraged, not getting the exclusive, and tore his bad toupee off, casting it into the fires of Mt. Doom. This caused a chain reaction, and the members of congress suddenly grew pointed ears. Luckily, these too did not work.
Meanwhile, back at the whitehouse, Grima was selling tickets to the 'Lincoln Bedroom', secretly raising gold for the 'Bring an Orc to work' fund.
Not to be outdone, the Nazgul caught wind of the imminent passing of the campaign fund reform bill, and called a Filabuster. It was confusing at first, but once all nine began speaking at once, the house settled back into its usual contemplative state.
Now, orcs are seen everywhere. They have thier own sit-coms, seats in both the senate and the house, (which is a quite similar thing), they are active in sports and the military (again, very similar), and just last nite, I caught Gorbag on Jay Leno.
So, you see the debate about the Orcs and their ability to evolve into a 'higher, good race' is a moot point. Just ask Doubyaa!
Glor
I agree Bill, the orcs soon became a 'high race' after their dalliance with the editors of the 'Harvard Lampoon'. Once the smoke cleared, the 'Uruk High' found themselves way 'left' of Mordor, and were considering a guest spot on 'Saturday Night Live'.
To the consternation of Sauron, his 'mouth', raised his own funds, (mostly from writing campaign speeches for republicans) and decided to debate the fate of Middle-earth on the 'Capitol Gang'.
Aaron Brown became enraged, not getting the exclusive, and tore his bad toupee off, casting it into the fires of Mt. Doom. This caused a chain reaction, and the members of congress suddenly grew pointed ears. Luckily, these too did not work.
Meanwhile, back at the whitehouse, Grima was selling tickets to the 'Lincoln Bedroom', secretly raising gold for the 'Bring an Orc to work' fund.
Not to be outdone, the Nazgul caught wind of the imminent passing of the campaign fund reform bill, and called a Filabuster. It was confusing at first, but once all nine began speaking at once, the house settled back into its usual contemplative state.
Now, orcs are seen everywhere. They have thier own sit-coms, seats in both the senate and the house, (which is a quite similar thing), they are active in sports and the military (again, very similar), and just last nite, I caught Gorbag on Jay Leno.
So, you see the debate about the Orcs and their ability to evolve into a 'higher, good race' is a moot point. Just ask Doubyaa!
Glor