The Pants Game!

[Kwijibo]

I saw this on another site - it's really fun.
You take a bit from LotR, or anywhere else, replace certain words with 'pants' or something similar.

They can be really simple - Ai! Ai! A pants is come!

Or a bit longer - The hour is getting late. Sauron's knickers are already moving. The nine have left Minas Trousers. They crossed the River Isen on Midjeans Eve, disguised as lingerie salesmen. They will find the pants, and kill the one who carries them.

Have Fun!:wicked: :wicked: :wicked:

[Nessa]

Ah yes, Lord of the Pants. What is a Tolkien site without one of these? :grin:

I think the classic example is actually one from the film:

"Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants." ~ Boromir

[Lady Arien]

Yessssssssssss....my pantssssssssssssssssssssss......we wants themmmmm......

[A! Elbereth]

"My pants - their getting heavier" ~Frodo

[Kwijibo]

That's it! There was only one rule - don't use the very first sentence from the Return of the King ;)

[Illuvatar]

roflmao roflmao roflmao

/me wipes tears from his eyes and pulls himself back up to the keyboard and writes:

Elrond:

And you shall be known as the fellowship of the PANTS!!

[Illuvatar]

Oh wait wait!!.....

Gandalf:

You......shall not.............PANTS!!

lol lol roflmao

[Finrod Felagund]

Speak PANTS and enter...

Pants that have been, Pants that are, and somtimes Pants that have not yet come to pass

[A! Elbereth]

hahahahaha lol roflmao

omg I just realized how weird the word PANTS sounds.... is that really what we call them!? hahahaha roflmao

~The Pants will never heal, he will carry pants for the rest of his life.

[Illuvatar]

I've got a million of em...hehehe

Galdriel to Frodo and Sam:

Look into my pants and tell me what you see!! lol

[A! Elbereth]

Argh! You naughty naughty person! :nono: :naughty: roflmao

[Nessa]

roflmao

"Do not meddle in the pants of wizards, for they are tight and quick to ride up."

[Sindarin]

One pants to rule them all, one pants to find them, one pants to bring them all, and in the darknes bind them.

[Sindarin]

BILBO: I am old, Gandalf. I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my pant of pants.

[Catz]

hokay.......

"will you look into the pants?"
"what will i see there?"

or....

"Give me a row of pants and room to swing and all weariness will fall from me" :o :elfeek:

or...

"pants rose and fell, gleaming with white fire" ...ouch!! lol

or....

"tho now i must grope for spent pants, mine are all gone" guess its true what they say about elves, eh? lol lol

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: Tell me, friend - when did the great Saruman the Wise mistake common sense for pants?

[Sindarin]

ARAGORN: ...Which way would any of us choose in Frodo's pants? I do not know. Now indeed we miss Galdalf most.

LEGOLAS: Grievous is our loss. Yet we must needs make up our minds without his pants.

[Lady Arien]

Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future...

"Behold Isildur's Pants!" said Elrond.


"All shall love my pants and despair!"

[Lady Arien]

"No one tosses a pant!"

Aragon "And you shall have my pants"
Legolas "And my trousers"
Gimli "And MY KNICKERS!"

[Catz]

urrrrrgh...could we swap those last two around Arien......Dwarvish underthings.........scary mecry
the trouble with this is, its a bit like shootin' fish in a barrel 'aint it?
......fun tho;) roflmao lol
:catz:

[Kwijibo]

In a hole in the ground, there lived some pants.

[Miruvor]

Tell Saruman the pants are not for him. I will send for them at once. Do you understand? Say just that!

:flamer:

[Pil]

"Throw pants in the air on a breezy day and let it do its work!"

"...they cost us great pants in our march over rohan, and i would not have such pants all wasted."

"The pants are now short. Either our bras cometh, or all underwear ends."

lol lol lol lol *grapples blindly around for tissues* lol lol lol lol

[Catz]

how about.....
"Did i not counsel you Lord to forbid his pants? "
or
"Pants, pants....would that i looked on you again in happier hour!"
or
"this seems to have been a guard room, made for the watching of the pants"

heheheheheheheh

[Illuvatar]

Tom Bombadil to Frodo and Company:

"Tom will give you good advise.....yada yada Bree yada yada.......There you'll find and old inn that is called The Prancing Pants. Barliman Butterbritches is the worthy keeper."

and..........

Gandalf to Frodo:

"I will give you a travelling name now.

When you go, go as Mr. Underpants!"

[Miruvor]

HA HA HA roflmao HA HA HA ! That's great.


What's that!
Pants.
It comes in Pant's?
I'm getting some!

[Kwijibo]

Are we doing movie quotes now too? Even better! lol
What about pants?
You've already had them?
We've had one pair, yes, what about second pants?
I don't think he knows about second pants, Pip.

[Nessa]

lol lol roflmao lol

Its your thread, Kwijibo, if you want movie quotes, you got 'em!

"You would beg for pants before the end!"~Boromir

"....and I would think it were wisdom but for the warning in my pants...." ~Frodo

"A shadow and a threat are growing in my pants..." ~Legolas

Oh dear, Kwijibo! On the first page you said we couldn't put the first line from Return of the King. I went and found out what the first line was and now I know why! lol lol lol

[A! Elbereth]

warning in his pants!?!?!?! :naughty: :nono: roflmao no comment

"You will taste Man's Pants!" ~Saruman

"The enemy is despised - birds - pants" ~Gandalf

[HobbitFriend]

"Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future" - Galadriel

[HobbitFriend]

Originally posted by Nessa
roflmao

"Do not meddle in the pants of wizards, for they are tight and quick to ride up."
roflmao lol roflmao Nessa, you've got some good ones!
i also liked "Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants" lol

[Lady Arien]

Of course, I can't resist taking it another step further.....some of the chapter titles work well, too....observe

"The Shadow of the Pants"
"In the House of Tom's Pants"
"Trousers on the Barrow-downs"
"A Knicker in the Dark"
"The Pants go South"
"A Journey in the Pants"
"The Bridge of Trouser-dum"

:grin: :grin: :grin:

[Nessa]

lol roflmao lol

oh dear! "In the Pants of Tom Bombadil" oh no!

(I'm breaking the rule Kwijibo :flamer: )

"Pippin looked out from the shelter of Gandalf's pants."

And to continue Lady Arien's hilarious idea:

"The Battle of the Pelennor Pants"
"The Pants of Healing"
"The Black Pants Open" :o

I truly love this thread. :)

[Lady Arien]

I hadn't even looked at the other two books yet...

"The Pants of Saruman"
"The Passage of the Pants"
"The Forbidden Pants"
"The Shorts of Cirith Ungol"
"Shelob's Leggings"
"The Trousers of Master Samwise"

Good grief.....someone stop me!!!!

[Black Rider]

"A long-Expected Pantsing"

[ArwenLiz]

'And nine...nine shorts were given to the race of men who, above all else, desired pants.':(

blasted shorts!

ArwenLiz

[Illuvatar]

Galadriel to Gimli:

"And what would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?"

Gimli in response:

"To gaze upon the pants of Galadrim a second time!"

Or....."To gaze into......." for you cheeky folks!

[Lady Arien]

"There is nothing we can do for Frodo....the quest will claim his pants".....

Alternatively

....."the pants will claim his life......"

[Catz]

what about....
I need your pants, that you now know...blah blah blah....lend me the pants...
or
This night we must all be pantless! Dark hides us now But what the day will show us who can tell? Have your pants close to hand!!
:elfeek: :naughty: lol
or
and i dont remember any pants, new or old in Caras Galadhon: only boxers by night and briefs by day....:p :naughty:
or
Suddenly the great pants of Lorien sang...;)

ok.....ill stop now :rolleyes: ;) lol roflmao lol
:catz:

[Orc]

Legolas: "There is a fell pants in the air"

[Miruvor]

Deep are the pants that are spanned by Durin's bridge, and none have measured them.
Yet they have a bottom, beyond light and knowledge.

:elfeek:

[Arwen]

Gandalf: "Pants shall NOT pass!"

[Beregond]

I would hazard that Isildur's Pants lay between you and was a cause of contention in your company

[Beregond]

The guard hesitated. "Your pants," he said to Gandalf, "Those too must be left at the door."

[Wilwarin]

This thread is so funny! I have to try one of my favorite quotes from
RotK, It's kind of long:

He gathered up all the pants that they had chosen to cast away.
He was not willing to leave them lying open in the wilderness for any eyes to see.
'Stinker picked up those ork pants, seemingly, and he isn't going to add a
sword to it. His hands are bad enough when empty. And he isn't going to mess
with my pants!' With that he carried all the pants away to one of the many gaping
fissures that scored the land and threw them in. The clatter of his precious pants
as they fell down into the dark was like a death-knell to his heart.

[Gowpon]

Haha!!
Sooo funny!!!
But i wonder why is it "pants", not something else?

[Lady Arien]

It is "pants" because Kwijbo started the thread that way....and IMHO, it was a stroke of genius (I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!)

Galadriel:

"It shows pants that were, pants that are, and pants that yet may be."

[Ilmarë]

Legolas....in Lothlorien..... during the Lament for Gandalf......

"I have not the heart to tell you.... for me his pants are still too near"

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao
:elfqueen:

[Ilmarë]

*peals of helpless laughter from the dungeon*

or what about....

Frodo: " I wish the pants had never come to me. I wish none of it had happened"

Gandalf: " So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the pants that are given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find those pants, in which case you were also meant to have them..... and that is an encouraging thought."

lol roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao lol
:elfqueen:

[Catz]

and yet another from the dungeon....
"did i not say to you, if you pass the pants of Moria beware!"
or
"I cannot pass without turning aside for a moment to look at the wonder of the pants"
and......
"This pillar marks the spot where Durin first looked in the pants"
or.....
"here are the pants from which the Silverlode rises....."
*demented giggles echo from the depths of FGC (the dungeon...aka Fan Girl Central)lol roflmao lol *
:catz:

[Kwijibo]

Smeagol: My ... pantss ...

I like the idea with the chapters!
A Short Cut to Pants
At the Sign Of The Prancing Pants
A Journey in the Pants
The Spliting Of The Trousers
The Taming of the Pants
The Passage of the Pants
Mount Pants

Sorry if these were done before!

[Magickcello]

heheheh......

"You would not give pants to a beggar, would you?"
"I would if I had any" said Frodo

"I will bear you before me, under my pants until we are far afield, and this darkness is yet darker. Such good pants should not be denied...."
"Thank you indeed," said Merry "though I do not know your pants."

"Walk no more in the pants!"

[Wilwarin]

I can't stop laughing!!

How about this one:

Gandalf: Samwise Gamgee, Have you been pants dropping!"
Sam: I haven't been dropping no pants, sir, honest!"

Or this one:

Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheep pants!"roflmao roflmao

[Wilwarin]

OK, I can't help it I've got to do a few more. These are kind of
adicting, aren't they?

Pippin: Anyway, you need people with pants on this sort of mission... quest... thing.
Merry: Well that rules you out, Pip.

Or...

The world has changed... I feel it in the water... I feel it in the earth... I smell it in the pants.

And to continue the chapter title theme (some are from the Hobbit):

"Riddles in the Pants"
"The Pants of Denethor"
"The Field of Pants"
"Over pants and Under Pants"
"Out of the Frying-Pan and into the Pants"
"Queer Pants"
"A Thief in the Pants"

[Nessa]

lol roflmao lol roflmao lol *cough, splutter*

Those are great, Wilwarin! And Magickcello!

A few lame ones from the movie:

"It is mine to give to whom I wish...... like my pants." ~ Arwen

"....Do not be troubled.... tonight, you shall sleep in pants." ~ Galadriel

[Wilwarin]

lol Here's some more:

Bilbo: My old pants. I should very much like to hold them again, one last time.

Boromir: Orcs! They have some cave pants!

Gandalf: Bilbo, the pants are still in your pocket.

Or this well known song:

The pants go ever on and on
Down from the door where they began
Now far ahead the pants have gone
And I must follow if I can.

[A! Elbereth]

This may have been posted, but what is said afterwards is hilarious! lol roflmao

"Will you look into the pants?" ~Galdariel
"What will I see?"
*blah blah look look*
"I know what it is you saw. For it has also been growing in my pants":elfeek: lol

ahhhhhhhhh lol roflmao lol roflmao

[Wilwarin]

Gandalf to Wormtongue: Yet in two ways may a man come with evil pants.
He may be a worker of pants; or he may be such as leaves well enough alone,
and comes only to bring pants in time of need.

Wormtongue in response: That is so, but there is a third kind: pickers of pants,
meddlers in other men's pants, carrion-fowl that grow fat on shorts.
What pants have you ever brought, Stormcrow? And what pants do you bring now?...
...Do you bring trousers? Do you pring shorts, boxers, briefs? That I would call aid;
that is our present need.

[Wilwarin]

Or how about some from the Silmarillion ?

"You will now believe this at least: There is indeed a Pants Lord,
and his pants and shorts are among us; for he fears us, and the trousers
we may give to his foes."

Who knows now the pants of Morgoth? Who can measure the reach
of his trousers?

Then Sauron striped them of thier pants, and they stood before him naked and afraid. :naughty:

In the pants of Sauron Beren and Felagund now lay...


I love this thread! lol roflmao lol

[Goldilocks]

Frodo: There's something down there!
Gandalf: It is in my pants.

Sorry, I know, very naughty:elfeek: How bout....

Sam (to Merry & Pip): You've been in Farmer Maggot's pants!

Oh dear, getting naughtier....

Gimli: Aragorn! These pants are perilous! We must turn back!
Haldir: You have entered the panties of the Lady of the Undies. There is no going back.

[A! Elbereth]

hahahahahaha lol roflmao 'Oh dear' is right!

sorry i do not have anything to add. please forive me *ducks from reflex of all the fish slaps*

[Wilwarin]

:nono: Getting naughty, Goldilocks!;)

OK, here's another one:

Hobbit children: Gandalf! Gandalf! Show us your pants, Gandalf! Show us your pants!

[Ilmarë]

*giggles*

From the Prologue of the film.....

"The world is changed
I fell it in the water
I feel it in the Earth
I feel it in my pants..!"

lol roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao lol

:elfqueen:

[Wilwarin]

No wait! A better way to say the last one I did would be like this:

Hobbit Children: Gandalf! Gandalf! Show your underpants, Gandalf! Show your underpants!

More:

Bilbo: No thankyou! We don't want anymore pants, underpants or boxer shorts!
Gandalf: And what about very old briefs? lol

Gandalf to Bilbo: One hunred and eleven pairs of pants, who would believe it!

Bilbo: You will keep pants on Frodo, won't you?
Gandalf: Two pairs, as often as I can spare them.

[Goldilocks]

Okay, thought of 1 more last night while I was lying in bed, desperately trying to fall asleep, only to be struck by fit of giggles when thought of it.

Frodo: We are heading for The Prancing Panties. Our business is our own.



roflmao

[Illuvatar]

LOLlol lol roflmao roflmao lol lol lol

The wife and I did the same late into the night until I sides hurt and we finally fell asleep!!

So here's a couple more....

Gimli "Give me a row of orc neck and room to swing, and all pants would fall from me"

Galadriel "Do you wish to see elf panties?.....come, you shall look and see what you may"

Gandalf "Hahahaha Saruman, Saruman, you missed your pants in life. You should have been the kings pants and earned your bread by mimicing his knickers "

[Wilwarin]

Those were funnylol

Here's some more (I think I like this thread too much!)

The Ring broght to Gollum unnatural long pants...

Pants became capries, capries became shorts; and for two and a half thousand years the pants passed out of all knowlege. Trousers crept back into the forest of the world. Boxers grew like a shadow in the pants...

[Magickcello]

lol lol lol lol
*grabs box of tissues and wipes eyes*
wilwarin now I see your true colors! :naughty:
I have some more:
"Pippin looked out from the shelter of Gandalfs pants" oh dear..... :naughty:
"And here also are your pants, Pippin," Aragorn said. "I have kept them safe, for they are a very precious thing" Queer.... lol
"The great pants slammed to. Boom. The zipper zipped inside. Clang. The pants were shut." Oh that part of the book was so sad......
or how about.....suddedly Legolas gave a cry. :elfeek: "The pants! The pants!" The pants were gone. They had dragged their pickets and disappeared.

[Magickcello]

I cant resist! I have another one! (ok two more)
Elrond: "The pants must be destroyed in the firey chasm in which it came!"
lol now I am gonna have nightmares of evil pants...
Faramir: "Do not scorn pants that is the gift of a gentle heart, Eowyn! But I do not offer you my pants :naughty: blah blah blah blah....songs of slaying...blah blah blah....."Then I will wed the White Pants of Rohan if that be their will."
ok not very good, but to the point!

[Lady Ashley]

I don't know if this one has been done...maybe because it's kinda lame, but I felt like puting it in anywway...

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The pants must be destroyed!" - Legolas

[Wilwarin]

roflmao

OK, I found some more lastnight! These ones are pretty good.

Bilbo: I need a pair of pants... a very long pair of pants. And I don't expect I shall wear them... In fact I mean not to.

Or how about htis one?

Sam drew a deep breath. "A pair of pants it was!" he said. "So there are pants, and I have seen one. What a life. But no one at home will ever believe me."

Now for the lats two, which are the funniest ones IMHO.

The wizard seemed asleep, but with pants not fully closed: there was a glitter of eyes under his long pants.

"I, I took the underwear and looked at it," stammered Pippin; " and I saw things that frightened me. And I wanted to go away but I couldn't..."
"That won't go at all Gandalf said sternly. "What did you see...?" :naughty:

[Nessa the Dancer]

I can't take any more! I've just read through all the posts, I nearly died of laughing.

Okay, this one is a little risky.

Gil-galad was a panting king
Of him the harpers panting sing
The last whose pants were fair and free
Between the mountains and the sea!

[Magickcello]

ok Nessa heres more:
His pants were long, his knickers keen,
his shining belt afar was seen;
the countless snaps of boot cut jeans
were mirrored in his silver rings!
now we are getting off the subject

[Lurtz]

Sam to Gandalf in the movie:"I wasn't droppin no eves sir, honest! that is, i heard a great deal about a pant, a dark spot on underpants, and the end of bellbottoms"

[Magickcello]

The guard hesitated. "Your pants," he said to Gandalf, "those also must be left at the door."
"Foolishness!" said Gandalf. "Prudence is one thing, but discourtesy to onlookers another. I am old!" :naughty:

[Wilwarin]

The Hobbit's pants were brought to them (a little heavier than they had been).

"Slam the doors and wedge them," shouted Aragorn, "and keep your pants on as long as you can."

For a moment the pants of Denethor glowed again as he faced Gandalf.

"I did not know you rode bare-back, Gandalf," Pippin said, "you haven't a pair of pants or underwear."
"I do not ride Elf-fashion, except on Shadowfax," said Gandalf.

[Magickcello]

lol I always knew there was something queer about those elves.....
How bout this one eh?
"Do not speak for your pants, whoose wit is greater then yours! Sit by your pants and be silent!"
or if you were to use the word grapefruit.....
"Do not speak for your grapefruit, whose wit is greater then yours! Sit by your grapefruit and be silent!" hmmmm.....

[Illuvatar]

Okay...I couldn't resist this one...

Boromir to Aragorn in Lorien:

My Father is a noble man, but his pants are failing.

And now, now our people loose pants! He looks to me to make trousers right and I will do it!

I WILL see the pants of Gondor restored!

:p

[Magickcello]

I dont know the elvish word for "pants" so I will have to say it in english....
"This is Isiludors heir?"-boromir
"and heir to the throne of Gondor"-legolas
"pants down, legolas"-aragorn
:elfeek:

[Wilwarin]

Frodo: Before you came along we Bagginses were very well thought of... never had any pants or did anything with shorts.
Gandalf: If you're referring to the incident with the trousers I was barely involved..."


Gandalf: Take it off! Take it off! Fool, take off the pants!

[Ilmarë]

Originally posted by Magickcello
I dont know the elvish word for "pants" so I will have to say it in english....
"This is Isiludors heir?"-boromir
"and heir to the throne of Gondor"-legolas
"pants down, legolas"-aragorn
:elfeek:

Is it getting warm in here or what????

:naughty: :naughty: :naughty:

:elfqueen:

[Queen of Gondor]

Aragorn is getting a little angry with the Hobbits as he says....'Are you pantless? Not nearly pantless enough...

[Magickcello]

oh my.... :naughty:
I may need an ice pack over here pretty soon
Illuvatar posted this first but I er.....changed it a bit :batty:
My father is a noble man, but his pants are falling :elfeek:
what about this?
Gandalf laughed. "Well, Theoden, will you ride with me to find pants?"
or..."if they come to bargian for our pants at Helms Gate, they must pay a high price"

[I Luv Legolas]

"And its a good thing neither half of the pants dont know what bleach could do to them" Sam thought

[Nessa the Dancer]

Oh dear, and thought mine was bad.

One from the movie:

'This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your pants'

Some more chapters:
A Long Expected Pant
The Old Pair of Pants
And, this may have been done before
Pants On Barrow-Downs (whose I wonder).

[Kwijibo]

Galadriel: You are a Pants-wearer, Frodo. Too wear the Pants of Power is to be alone.

Aragorn: I swore to protect you.
Frodo: Can you protect me from your pants?

Gandalf: Pants? It was the pants that stayed Bilbo's hand ... Many that live deserve pants ... Do not be too quick to deal out pants and trousers.

Tom Bombadil:
Old Tom Bombadil was a merry fellow,
Bright blue his trousers are,
And his pants are yellow

I know TB's song's not right, but it's close enough.

[Magickcello]

Heres the classic:
Bilbo-My pants are old, Gandalf. I know they dont look it, but I'm begining to feel it in the seat of my pants...They feel sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread..:elfeek:
maybe hes getting fat....

[Wilwarin]

The pants of men are easily corrupted, and the shorts of power have a will of their own.

From the Hobbit:

Balin: ... and still I expect smokes and steams would come out of the pants: all the halls within must be filled with his foul reek.

[Orc]

Golumn (under dire torture)

Shire...... pants.......

[Pippins-Girlo]

Pippin-Done!
Merry- You're supposed to stick 'em in the ground
Pippin- They are in the ground.
Merry- Outside
Pippin- They're you're Pants!!!
BOOM!! AHH!!!

[Miruvor]

Sam:
'You'll find the pants very dangerous now, and very hard to wear. If it's too hard a job, I could share them with you, maybe?'
'No, no!' cried Frodo, snatching the pant's from Sam's hands. 'No you won't, you thief!'
verymad

(Aww. Poor Sam. He never get's to wear the pants in the family!)
:naughty:
pfbbt

[Nessa the Dancer]

The King turned to Merry 'I am going to war now Master Meriadoc' he said 'in a little while I will take the road. I release you from my service, but not from my pants'.

or
The King turned to Merry 'I am going to war now Master Meriadoc' he said 'in a little while I will take the road. I release you from my service, but not from my service.

'But, but, lord' stammered Merry 'I offered you my pants'

[Lady Ashley]

oh lordy...y'all are too much...LOL what would Master Tolkien think about all this? lol

[Pippins-Girlo]

He'd think we were a bunch of crazy... YOUNG people who are in love with pants and Hobbits and Elves and his own creations.

[Wilwarin]

"Good morning, merry friends!" cried Tom, opening the pants wide. A cool air flowed in; it had a rainy smell.

Bilbo: I'll take a walk, I think, and look at the pants of Elbereth in the garden."

Aragorn: Speak no evil of the lady's pants! You know not what you say. There is in her and in her pants no evil, unless a man bring it hither himself.

[Pippins-Girlo]

lol good ones Wilwarin!

[A! Elbereth]

Originally posted by Wilwarin
Bilbo: I'll take a walk, I think, and look at the pants of Elbereth in the garden."


:elfeek: :elfeek: :elfeek: No YOU WONT!lol lol

[Miruvor]

Movie Arwen:

'What's this...? A Ranger caught with his pants down?'


(I know, bad, bad! :evilcool: )

[I Luv Legolas]

roflmao good one Miruvor!!! :jester:

[Black Rider]

"And as if in answer there came from far away another note. Pants, pants, pants. In dark Mindolluin's sides they dimly echoed. Great pants of the North wildly blowing. Rohan had come at last."

[Daughter of Finarfin]

From the Silm:
"but those that had pants and boxers, perceived swiftly that the Great Rider was no shape out of Darkness; for the light of Aman was in his underwear, and all the noblest of the elves were drawn towards it."

Here are some Silm chapter titles:
"Of Pants"
"Of the Coming of Pants into the West"
"Of the Pants Battle"
"Of the Ruin of Pants"
"Of Pants and Trousers"
"Akallabeth: The Downfall of Pants"
"Of the Noldor in Trousers"

also, from my sig: T"he thought of those merry young folk driven like cattle burns my pants."
or: "The thought of those merry young pants worn like shorts burns my heart."

[Catz]

OMG:elfeek: :elfeek: what have we started????:elfeek: :elfeek:
lol lol roflmao roflmao lol lol
:catz:

[Nessa the Dancer]

I don't know, but it's getting worse.

FRODO: Last night you began to tell me strange things about my pants.

GANDALF: I am going down beyond the southeren boarders to get some pants if I can'. I have been idle, longer than I should.

[Polly Sandybanks]

*laying on the floor laughing and crying* lol roflmao

Bilbo: I don't know half the pants half as well as I should like; and I like less than half the pants half as well as they deserve.

[Polly Sandybanks]

Ok.. here's a long one..

Bilbo: They are mine, aren't they? I found them, and Gollum would have killed me, if I hadn't kept them. I'm not a thief, whatever he said.
Gandalf: blablablaa not trying to rob you blablabla
Bilbo: I am sorry, but I felt so queer. And yet it would be a relief in a way not to be bothered with them any more. They have been so growing on my mind lately. Sometimes I have felt they were like an eye looking at me. And I am always wanting to put them on and disappear, don't you know; or wondering if they are safe, and pulling them out to make sure. I tried locking them up, but I found I couldn't rest without them in my pocket. I don't know why. And I don't seem able to make up my mind.

[Polly Sandybanks]

A last one..

'Ai! ai!' wailed Legolas. 'Pants! Pants is come!'
Gimli stared with wide eyes. 'Durin's pants!' he cried, and letting his pants fall he covered his face.

[Wilwarin]

Oh no!!! I can't stop laughing!

OK, this one isn't that good:

In the land of Trousers, in the fires of Mount Pants, the Dark Lord Sauron, forged in secret, a pair of Master Pants, to control all others. And into these pants he poured his crulety, his malice, and his will to dominate all life.


More to come later after I find some better ones. :grin:

[Miruvor]

Wilwarin roflmao

- Well if the pants fit, wear 'em!

:wicked:

[Nessa the Dancer]

'At the sign of the Prancing Pants'

OR

In the pants of the Prancing Pony

[Eowyn]

lol roflmao ;)

[Aranel]

Eowyn tells me this game used to exist, but we can't seem to find it so I have taken the liberty of starting it back up... hehe!!

Here are the rules:

Take a quote from the LOTR books or films, and exchange one word for the word "pants"

It has to be funny, of course...!

Eg. "I do not wish for any pants," said Frodo

[Eowyn]

OK we thought Aragorn didn't get enough stick so here it comes.....:wicked:

NB. Aragorn fans look away now!

[Aranel]

Proof that Aragorn steals women's underwear:

(Haldir referring to Aragorn)
"...he has the pants of the Lady,"

[Aranel]

Proof that Aragorn worships underwear:

"...and we shall ride with him to honour the pants."

[Aranel]

Proof that Aragorn is a pervy hobbit-fancier who keeps hobbits down his trousers:

"I know what you have come to say, Frodo: you wish to return to your own pants."

[Aranel]

Proof that Aragorn goes commando:

Thus Aragorn for the first time in the full light of day beheld pants

[Catz]

dont forget if your looking for a thread, that you need to display them "from the beginning" or use the search function ok? ill merge this with the existing thread...
:catz:

[Aranel]

Whoops! Thanx! U can tell i'm great with computers, right?!!
:blush: :grin:

[Eowyn]

hehehehe! good old catz!

[Adunauriel]

I'll take it strait from my Sig.

"A shadow, and a threat has been growing in my Pants"

roflmao :thumbs:

[Eowyn]

roflmao

[Aranel]

HALDIR: You have no need of your pants

[Little Devil]

Frodo: Go on Sam, ask Rosie for a dance....without pants. :o

[Adunauriel]

Frodo- "I wish these Pants had never come to me."
Gandalf- "So do all who live to see these Pants."

[Eowyn]

:o little devil :o

and teddyjen25 I never want to see those pants! :o lol

roflmao

[Adunauriel]

Eowyn, I was Laughing so hard roflmao I was lucky to get it posted.

[Sindarin]

OMG!!! These are so funny! lol

[Sindarin]

ARAGORN: Never did I see an axe so wielded without pants.

[Adunauriel]

Gandalf: " I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.... Without Pants

[Little Devil]

Frodo: What are you doing....without pants?

[Adunauriel]

One ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all,
And in the Darkness Pants them.

[Little Devil]

Legolas: Goblins.....without pants.

[Eowyn]

little devil you are shockingly good at this! :o

[Adunauriel]

to go along with Little Devil...

Legolas: "Orcs" ..... Without Pants.

[Little Devil]

Originally posted by Eowyn
little devil you are shockingly good at this! :o

Awww. :blush: Thanks very very much. :)

[Adunauriel]

"Bitter and long is the hatred of the Pants for the Elves...."

[Wilwarin]

I haven't been here in so long! I can't believe you guys started this old thread up again! :thumbs: roflmao
OK, here's one from me:

"Suddenly up came fires and foul fumes: the pants and shorts all over the plain began to spout and belch. Several of the Ents got scorched and blistered. One of them, Beechbone I think he was called, a very tall handsom Ent, got caught in a spray of some liquid fire and burned like a torch . . ."

You know . . . I think I'm going to start up my old Spanking Game thread again . . . Look for it.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "If we are quick we will Pants Frodo & Sam Before Nightfall."

[Little Devil]

Gandalf: And what about very old friends....without pants.

[Adunauriel]

Legolas: "And you shall have my Pants."

[Wilwarin]

From The Hobbit:

"My pants! Curse them! How did we lose them, my precious? Yes, that's it. When we came this way last, when we twisted that nasty young squeeker. That's it. Curse them! They sliped from us, after all these ages and ages! They're gone, gollum."

[Adunauriel]

Gandalf: "A wizard is never late.. He arrives precisely when he means to..." without pants

[Little Devil]

I love this game! :thumbs:

[Wilwarin]

Here's another from the Hobbit:

"What about the pants, then?" said Thorin. "You don't mention sending them back."
"I don't because I am not sending them."
"What about YOUR promise then?"
"I will look after that. I am not sending the pants back, I am wearing them!"

[Adunauriel]

Gimli: "I'll be dead before I see the Ring in the pants of an Elf."

[Wilwarin]

roflmao

Farmer Maggot: "Be off! There are no pants here. You're in the wrong part of the Shire. You had better go back west to Hobbiton . . ."


Here's another one:


"Look back, Mr. Frodo! Do you see anything?"
On the far stage, under the distant lamps, they could just make out a pair of pants: it looked like a dark black bundle left behind. But as they looked it seemed to move and sway this way and that, as if searching the ground. Then it crawled, or went crouching, back into the gloom beyond the lamps.
"What in the Shire was that?" exclaimed Merry.
"Some pants that are following us," said Frodo, "But don't ask any more now! Let's get away at once!"

I can just imagen what that looks like! lol

[Adunauriel]

roflmao Niether can I,,,, and I don't want to...lol

[Kwijibo]

'Well, I'm pants,' he said.

[Wilwarin]

Gandalf's eyes flashed. "It will be my turn to get pants soon," he said. "If you say that again, I shall. Then you will see Gandalf the Gray uncloaked!"

[Kwijibo]

Boromir (dying) - I have failed you all!
Aragorn - No, Boromir. You fought bravely. Look at your pants.

[Adunauriel]

roflmao

[Brindlescruff]

Kwijibo, (who started this thread), that thread you found wouldn't be our panties thread over at rotten tomatoes, now would it?

Check us out: we're one nutty bunch over there! (we cna be naughty, though)

www.rottentomaotes.com

click on The Two Towers, and find wiggelworth's LOTR Panties thread......you've been warned about the sillyness and naughtyness, though

[Talandil]

"My brother....my Captain...my PANTS!!!!":naughty:

"I was there when the pants of men failed."

[Talandil]

Pippin: "What's that?"
Merry: "A pant"
Pippin: "They come in pants?!"

[Adunauriel]

Gandalf: "Next time why don't you throw yourself down there, and rid us all of you pants.""Fool of a Took."

[Sindarin]

MERRY: Oh, that's nice, pants on my tomatos!

[Sindarin]

WITCH KING: Come not between the Nazgul and his pants!

[Little Devil]

Legolas: We must move on we cannot linger....without pants.

[Adunauriel]

Aragorn: "The eastern shore its patroled by pants......"

[Talandil]

"There are many that die that deserve pants...can you give it to them?"

[Talandil]

"It is mine to give to whom I choose, like my pants."

[Adunauriel]

Aragorn: "You can not give me pants."

[Lintefaniel]

Arwen: There are five pants behind you, where the other 4 are I don't know.
Elrond to Isildur: Cast into the Pants!
Sauruman to Uruk Hai: You do not wear pants, you do not wear shorts, You will wear loin cloths!
"...Nine Pants were gifted to the race of men, who above all else desired pants.":p :grin: ;) :) :cool:

[Kwijibo]

Extended Verson pants quotes!

Elvish pants! One pair is enough to sustain a grown man!
How many are you wearing?
Four

I would not lead the Ring within 100 leagues of your pants!

How are your pants?
Better than they were.

What are they - the pants you sing of?
The pants of Luthien.

[Lintefaniel]

Gimli: The Pants of Moria!
Gandalf: It's 10 o'clock in my pants; on Oct the 24th.....and your lucky to be in pants!
Boromir: It is a gift! A gift to the pants of Mordor!

Make for the bridge of my pants!!;) roflmao :grin:

[Little Devil]

roflmao

[Adunauriel]

Originally posted by Lintefaniel
Make for the bridge of my pants!!;) roflmao :grin:

lol It just too funny.... roflmao roflmao

[Lintefaniel]

Sauron: There is no life in my pants, only death.
Aragorn: You draw far to much attention to your Pants! Mr. Underhill!!
Aragorn: They were once pants, great kings of Pants!

[Aranel]

Originally posted by Lintefaniel
Sauron: There is no life in my pants, only death.
Aragorn: You draw far to much attention to your Pants! Mr. Underhill!!
Aragorn: They were once pants, great kings of Pants!

Kings of pants!!! roflmao roflmao

[Talandil]

"Isildur!!! Cast it into the pants!!"

[Lintefaniel]

Gandalf: Sam has hardly left your pants!!
Elrond : Sauron's forces are massing in his pants, his eye is fixed on my pants!!
The Dwarves? They hide in their pants seeking riches......roflmao

[Adunauriel]

Originally posted by Lintefaniel
Gandalf: Sam has hardly left your pants!!
Elrond : Sauron's forces are massing in his pants, his eye is fixed on my pants!!
The Dwarves? They hide in their pants seeking riches......roflmao
roflmao lol roflmao Too much laughter..........lol

[Moraneah]

Bilbo: "I mean to enjoy my pants on Thursday, and have my little joke".:thumbs:

[Little Devil]

roflmao

[Frodo's Love]

Gollum: "My precioussssss...my pantsssssss..."

[Lintefaniel]

Lurtz: Pants the halfings!

[Moraneah]

Legolas: I have not the heart to pants thee, the pants are just to near......roflmao roflmao lol lol roflmao

[Little Devil]

Frodo: You know Bilbo without pants. :naughty:

[Lintefaniel]

Old Walking Song

The pants go ever on and on
Out from the pants where they began.
Now far ahead the pants have gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pantsing them with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger pants
Where many pants and knickers meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
lol lol lol

[Jeak]

(Aragorn: you have my sword
Legolas: You have my bow)
Gimli: and my Pants!

[Frodo's Love]

Gandalf: "You feel the power of the pants growing, don't you? I feel it, too."

[Little Devil]

Frodo: Before you came we Baggins were very thought of without pants.

[Aranel]

Behind closed doors they sat, and Beren told of the pants of Barahir

Felagund to Beren: It is plain that Thingol desires your pants

(Silmarillion)

[Aranel]

Eowyn to Gríma: Your pants are poison

[Eowyn]

eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! well probably some truth in that! eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

[Aranel]

lol roflmao
Perhaps they're like Baldrick's pants?? lol

[Eowyn]

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

[Little Devil]

Gross, lol lol

[Aranel]

Ahh, you're a Blackadder fan too then, Little Devil? Or did u mean the comment on Wormtongue's pants was gross?

[Little Devil]

Both, Blackadder's so funny, lol and Wormtongue's pants probably are gross! :jester: ;)

[Aranel]

I don't even want to imagine! lol

[Eowyn]

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! please stop :o ack! disgusting! lol

[Aranel]

Hehe are we scaring you? I'm not surprised - Eowyn doesn;t want anything to do with Wormtongue or his pants!

[Eowyn]

argh! stop it! I need to go kill someone! now who's closest to me
*glares at aranel*

[Aranel]

ARRGGH!! I'm off! :mecry:

[Eowyn]

me too!

[Little Devil]

lol is yukky. ;)

[Sindarin]

SARUMAN: They will find the ring, and pants the one who carries it.

(repost?)

[Aerandir]

Butturbur: Oh! Gandalf, elderly chap, big grey beard, pointy pants. Not seen him for six pants.

-Aera

[Little Devil]

Sam: Now what do we do..without pants?

[Tar-Palantir]

From TTT (movie)

Bring your pretty pants closer to my axe!

[Aerandir]

Pippen: Oh thats nice, pants in my tomatoe!

[Sindarin]

ARAGORN: Take some pants here. These borders are well protected.
BOROMIR: I will find no pants here.

[SindarinGirl]

Haldir: A dwarf breathes so loudly we could have shot him in the pants.

[Aerandir]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

-Aera

[Sindarin]

FRODO: What are they?
ARAGORN: They were once pants. Great pants of men.

[Sindarin]

SARUMAN: Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? They were pants once...

[SindarinGirl]

Gandalf: "Listen Hound of Sauron! Gandalf is here. Fly, if you value your foul pants!"

"Well, master, we're in a fix and no pants," said Sam Gamgee.

Aragorn lifted Pippin and set him in Gandalf's pants, wrapped in cloak and blanket.
(So Gandalf, is that a hobbit in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?) lol

[Aerandir]

Saruman: Your love for the halflings pants has clearly slowed your mind

-Aera

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: Do as I say! Pants are of no more use here!

[Sindarin]

GIMLI: Stay close, young Hobbits. They say a great sorceress lives in these pants.

[Ithielnor]

ok this comes from the chapter "Three Is Company"

Frodo striped the pants from Pippin and rolled him over!!! :o

[Sindarin]

roflmao That's hilarious, Ithielnor!!! lol

[SindarinGirl]

Gandalf: No, Gimli, I would not go through the pants of Moria unless I had no other choice.

Neither would I!

[Nessa the Dancer]

Originally posted by Ithielnor
ok this comes from the chapter "Three Is Company"

Frodo striped the pants from Pippin and rolled him over!!! :o

lol lol Very good!!!

[Little Devil]

Sam: It's just something about Gandlaf's pants, don't you lose his pants Samwise Gamgee and I don't mean too.

[Tar-Palantir]

lol roflmao

Gandalf can get very angry when he loses his pants!

[Sindarin]

LEGOLAS: A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants.

[Ithielnor]

"At the sign of the Prancing Pony"
Frodo leaned back against the wall and took off the pants!

[Little Devil]

Interesting. lol

Aragon: Let's hunt some pants! ;)

[Sindarin]

GALADRIEL: Welcome, Frodo of the Shire...One who has seen the PANTS!

[Ithielnor]

"The Choices of Master Samwise"
I must take your pants, by your leave, Mr. Frodo.

[Gatsby]

Originally posted by Sindarin
LEGOLAS: A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants.

haha... that amuses me
out
gatsby

[Tar-Palantir]

The Lord of the Pants.

A Pant of the Past.
The Pants of Elrond
The Pants of The Rohirrim!

[SindarinGirl]

Gollum: Master needs to sleep. Master must keep up his pants.

[Sindarin]

GALADRIEL: I know what it was you saw. For it is also in my pants.

[Little Devil]

Frodo: I cannot do this alone....without pants.

[Moraneah]

Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your pants.

[Sindarin]

BOROMIR: They will take the pants...and you will beg for forgiveness before the end!

[Sindarin]

*in fangorn forest*

ARAGORN: Gimli, lower your pants.

[SindarinGirl]

Frodo: Because Aragorn is descended in direct lineage, father to father, from Isildur Elendil's son himself. And the pants that he bears was Elendil's pants.

Frodo: Yes, I was his friend, for my pants.

Faramir: Isildur's Pants - I would hazard that Isildur's Pants lay between you and was a cause of contention in your Company.

Frodo: But be that as it may, ancient tales teach us also the peril of rash words concerning such things as - pants.

lol Sindarin, do you think Aragorn meant to frighten the White Wizard with Gimli's naked rear?! lol

[Sindarin]

lol Perhaps, SindarinGirl. lol

[Gatsby]

I don't know if this one has been done yet

Gimli: I will die before i see the ring in the pants of an elf!

out
gastby

[SindarinGirl]

Legolas: Lembas, one bite is enough to fill the pants of a grown man.

Is that why they call him "baggy-britches"? lol

[Tar-Palantir]

lol that was funny!!!

[Little Devil]

Boromir : They took the little ones.....without pants

[HobbitFriend]

these have probably been said before, and i didn't make them up - found them on another site actually but they're quite funny!

Butterbur: What can I do fer ye, little masters? We've some nice hobbit-sized pants fer ye, if yer interested.... Mr. err--?
Frodo: Underpants. My name's Underpants.

Bilbo: I feel thin, sort of stretched, like tight pants spread over too much bun.

Bilbo without pants: It's a pretty little thing, isn't it? Light as a feather, yet as hard as dragon scales.

((this one's wicked funny!!)) -Boromir looks in Frodo's pants: "It is a strange fate that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing...such a little thing."

-Galadriel: Will you look in my pants Frodo?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell.

[riderofrohan]

Frodo to Sam; Ask Rosie for her pants"

[Tar-Palantir]

-Galadriel: Will you look in my pants Frodo?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell.


Does Galadriel have something to say to us?
:naughty::naughty::naughty::naughty::naughty:

[Little Devil]

Galadriel: I passed the test without pants, :o lol

[Sindarin]

BILBO: ...and so there I was, at the mercy of three, monstrous pants!

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

GOLLUM: Filthy little hobbitsesss! They stole it from usss!
SMÉAGOL: No... no...
FARAMIR: What did they steal?
GOLLUM: My - PANTS!!!!

SAM:
We have to get out of here. You go. Go now. You can do it. Use the pants, Mr. Frodo. Just this once. Put them on. Disappear.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

ARAGORN:
You cannot wear it. None of us can. The One Pants fits Sauron alone. It has no other wearer.
BOROMIR:
And what would a Ranger know of this matter?
LEGOLAS:
This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of a salesman. You owe him your pants.

[Little Devil]

Saruman: There will be no dawn for pants! ;)

[SindarinGirl]

Elrond: I was there, 3000 years ago, when the pants of Men failed.

It's a parpahrase, I think, but here goes:

Boromir: The shards of Narsil, the blade that cut the pants from Sauron.

[Little Devil]

Boromir: But nothing more than a broken pants.

[Tar-Palantir]

BILBO: ...and so there I was, at the mercy of three, monstrous pants!GOLLUM: Filthy little hobbitsesss! They stole it from usss!
SMÉAGOL: No... no...
FARAMIR: What did they steal?
GOLLUM: My - PANTS!!!!
ARAGORN:
You cannot wear it. None of us can. The One Pants fits Sauron alone. It has no other wearer.
BOROMIR:
And what would a Ranger know of this matter?
LEGOLAS:
This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of a salesman. You owe him your pants.
SAM:
We have to get out of here. You go. Go now. You can do it. Use the pants, Mr. Frodo. Just this once. Put them on. Disappear.

They are REALLY funny!! roflmao lol roflmao lol :grin:

[Little Devil]

lol roflmao

Boromir: Let us use his pants against him.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

GANDALF:
This is the One Pants, hand-made by the Dark Lord, Sauron with the looms of Mount Doom, taken by Isildur from the hips of Sauron himself. :naughty:
FRODO:
Bilbo found it. In Gollum's closet.

[Narya]

:elfqueen:

The Fellowship of the Pants

Three pants, the fairest of all, the Elf-Lords hid from him, and his hand never touched then or sullied them. Seven pairs the Dwarf-Lords possessed but three he has recovered and the others the dragons are wearing. Nine pairs he gave to Mortal Men, proud and great, and so he wedgied them

'He had this one chance to destroy evil, but the pants of Men are strange.'

Galadriel: "The world is changed. I feel it in my pants."

"You've been officially labeled a disturber of the pants."--Frodo

Gandalf: "He's very fond of you, you know".
Bilbo: "I know...he'd probably go pantless with me if I asked him to. But I think in his heart, Frodo's still in love with pants...the leggings, the pockets, the stitching..."

I feel thin, sort of stretched, like tight pants spread over too much bum.

I need a holiday Gandalf. I think I'll take off my pants, and I don't expect I'll ever put them back on again. In fact, I mean not to! -Bilbo Baggins.

Do not take me for a wearer of cheap pants!

"They're some form of Elvish pants-- I cannot wear them."
"There are few who can. They are the dark pants of Mordor, which I shall not put on here.”

Frodo: "Take them! You must take my pants, I'm giving them to you!"
Gandalf: "Do not tempt me Frodo! You see, I would try to wear these pants out of the intention of looking good..."

Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee, have you been pantsdropping?
Sam: I aint been dropping no pants!

You've been in Farmer Maggot's pants! - Sam

Frodo and Merry huddle behind some bushes at
night and anxiously look off into the distance.
Frodo: "We must get out of our pants"
Merry ponders things, then...firmly:
Merry: "Unbuckle Merry!"

Saruman: "Why should we fear to wear the pants?"
Gandalf: "The see-ing pants are not all accounted for! We do not know who else may be wearing them! *shoves pants back into drawer*

I am no longer Saruman with Pants! I am Saruman the Pantless!! -- Saruman to Gandalf

They will find the pants and kill the one who wears them

Saruman to Gandalf: It would be wise, old friend, to remove your pants.

Black Rider to random hobbit: "Paaaaannnnnttttttssssssssssss"
"There be no pants round 'ere, not in these parts!"

All that is cold does not shiver,
Not all those without pants are lost;
The pants that are strong do not wither,
Deep pants are not reached by the frost.
From the pants a fire shall be woken,
A pants from the shadow shall spring;
Renewed shall be pants that were broken,
The pantless again shall be king.

Are you wearing pants?
Yes.
Not nearly enough

Sam had long ago made up his mind that, though pants were maybe not as dangerous as he had been brought up to believe, they were far more uncomfortable than even he had imagined.

-"There shall be no wearing pants until nightfall"
-"What about underpants?"
-"I don't think he knows about underpants Pip."
-"What about boxers? or briefs? or shorts? or tighty whities? or speedos? or thongs?"

Aragorn: "Are you familiar with athelegs?"
Sam: "Athelegs?"
Aragorn: "Kingstrousers."
Sam: "Yes, they're pants."

This is beyond my skill to clothe. He needs Elvish pants. -Aragorn

What's this? A Ranger caught with his pants down?

Arwen and Aragorn, in Rivendell: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Yes, I thought I had strayed into your pants.

"You cannot give me this."
"It is mine to give to whom I will, as are my pants."-Arwen

Elrond:"Pants? Pants are weak. I was there, 3,000 years ago, I was there the day the strength of pants failed.

'This evil cannot be concealed by the pants of the Elves.'

Gandalf: "There is one who could unite pants"
Elrond: "Yes, but he turned from pants long ago. He has chosen boxers."

Gandalf: "I fear he will wear those pants all of his life."
Elrond: "Yet, he shows amazing resilience to their evil..."
Gandalf: "He should never have had to wear those pants. We can ask no more of Frodo."

"You're right, Sam. The pants will be safe in Rivendell. I am ready to take them off."

Elrond: Strangers from distant lands, you will wear pants or you will fail.

Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants. -Boromir

There is evil there, that does not wear pants! -- Boromir

He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn... you owe him your pants. -Legolas

Frodo: I will drop my pants in Mordor...though I do not know the way.
Gandalf: And I will assist you.

Aragorn: You have my sword
Legolas: You have my bow
Gimli: and MY PANTS!

You need pants of corduroy on this mission... quest... thing" -Pippin

You shall be the Fellowship of the Pants! -Elrond

Bilbo without pants: It's a pretty little thing, isn't it? Light as a feather, yet as hard as dragon scales.

Do you know how Pants first came into being? They were once Skirts. Taken by the Dark Powers in the First Age - tortured, mutilated - a ruined and terrible form of clothing, bred into Menswear.

"Sew me a pair of pants worthy of me" -Sauron

"The pants are strong my lord. Their stitching is good." -Random Orc

Boromir looks in Frodo's pants: "It is a strange fate that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing...such a little thing."

"I do not wish to wear them, but neither do I wish to refuse the pants of Gandalf. I beg that there be no vote, until we have slept in them. Gandalf will get votes easier in the light of the morning than in these cold briefs."

Gimli : Moria - Khazad-dum! Greatest of the Dwarf Halls - what I would not give to look in its pants!

Let us hope our pants here will go unnoticed

Gandalf: Do not be too eager to pull down someone's pants in judgment.

Frodo: I wish I had never worn any pants. I wish none of this had ever happened.
Gandalf: All we can do is decide what to do with the pants that are given us

Many who deserves pants get boxers and many who deserves boxers get pants. Can you give it to them, Frodo?
or: "Deserves them! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve pants. And some that die deserve pants also. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out pants in judgment..."

The pants of Bilbo may rule the fate of many

'You were meant to wear the pants, Frodo.'

Frodo to Gandalf, after looking down his pants:
"There's something down there!"

Gandalf: Oh! It's this pair!
Merry: He's remembered!
Gandalf: No, it just these pants do not smell so foul...

"Let them come! There is one dwarf in Moria who still wears pants!"

"Not the pants!" - Gimli

You have no pants! I am the Servant of the Secret Singer Patterns, wielder of the Needle and Thread. You have no pants! Boxers will not avail you, Flaming Underpants! Go back to the dressing room! You have no pants!

Gandalf hanging off of the bridge in Moria:
"Your flies, you fools!"

Haldir: 'Your pants are so loud we could see them in the dark.'

"You enter the pants of the Lady of the Wood, you cannot go back."

Celeborn:
Pantless ...you ..are ...here, yet ...in pants... you... set... out... from... Riiiveeeeeendeeeeeeell. Tell me.... where are... your.... pants....? For... I... desire... to... wear.... them.

The quest stands on the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and your pants shall fall, to the ruin and utter discomfort of us all.
or: "The pants stand upon the edge of a knife. One move, and they will rip, to the ruin of all.....yet hope remains, while the pants are still on."

Boromir: "I heard a voice in my head...she spoke of my pants. She said they are still on, but I cannot see any"

It is a lament for pants
what do they say?
I have not the ability to tell you. For me, the pants are still too tight.

Aragorn: Tonight I shall sleep without pants for the first time since we left Rivendell

Galadriel: Will you look in my pants Frodo?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell.

Galadriel: For did you not say that you wanted to see Elf-pants?
Sam: I did. I'll have a peep, Lady, if you're willing

"Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future".
"I know what you saw...for it is also in my pants"
"These pants were appointed to you, and if they do not fit, they will fit no-one".
"Here take this. It is the pants of Earendil"

You are a pants-wearer Frodo. To be a Pants-wearer is to be alone. -Galadriel

"Look, the Pants of the Kings! These are the Pants of Isildur and Anarion, my pantless sires of old. Long have I desired to look upon them, to compare my own worthless pants to the pants of the Great Ones!"

"A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants." - Legolas

"Something draws near... I can feel it in my pants!" -- Legolas

"And it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my pants."

I would have worn your pants... my brother.... my captain.... my king.

"Hurry, our pants have floated to the eastern shore!...You mean not to follow them?"-Legolas
"Our pants are out of our reach now"-Aragorn
"Then we have failed. The fellowship has failed"-Gimli
"Not as long as we have our polka-dot boxers."

Sam to Frodo: No No No No - Frodo!
Frodo: No Sam. I'm putting on my pants alone.
Sam: Of course you are. And I'm helping you!

I made a promise. Don't you lose your pants Samwise Gamgee. And I don't mean to. I don't mean to.

Frodo: I hope the others find their pants. I don't think I will ever see mine again.