The rejected plot twists game

[Evenstar]

Narya posted a thread in the Humor forum http://www.warofthering.net/forums/vbulletin225/upload/showthread.php?s=&postid=172813#post172813 about crackpot thoeries.

One of these is 10 rejected plot twists. I thought they were hilarious and then I thought we could try making our own.

What you have to do is just make up a twist that Tolkien rejected - not a real one, something totally out of your imagination.

Here are the ones fromthe crackpot theories website:

1. Balin emerges from the depths of Moria, claiming he "fell asleep in the tub".

2. Galadriel discovers Pippin singing the praises of a bath while he takes one in her mirror.

3. Boromir uses the ring, saves Gondor, destroys Sauron and becomes a wise and benevolent ruler. Book ends 40 chapters sooner.

4. Orc-slaughter competition between Legolas and Gimli becomes so fierce, they take to killing some of the smaller, uglier men of Gondor.

5. Farmer Giles of Ham shows up at the Pelennor Fields and saves Gandalf's life.

6. Pippin hits on Eowyn in a dark corner of the Houses of Healing: "The hands of a Hobbit are the hands of a healer too, you know..."

7. In the happy days after the defeat of Sauron, Gimli keeps his promise and visits Mirkwood with Legolas -- where they are eaten by giant spiders, whom everyone had forgotten about.

8. Aragorn discovers that he is not, in fact, Elendil's heir. His older brother Mutt, after having lived with Ghan-Buri-Ghan & Co. for decades, lays claim to the throne after all the "dirty work" is done.

9. Ents and Elves dispute over title of "first-born". Elrond has Quickbeam made into an armoire; Treebeard grinds Glorfindel into mulch.

10. The Shire, mobilized by Merry and Pippin and now hungry for vengeance, annexes Bree and slaughters "the big folk".

Special bonus plot twist:
11. Gollum adapts to molten Mt. Doom environment, and later plays a critical role in Fourth Age crisis.

so the next person puts 12: and their rejected twist etc. I would add one but i can't think of any right now.

[Narisunell]

ah, that's clever! here's mine!

12. Frodo falls off the boat to the undying lands and swims to some new land and meets Gollum's sister, gallum! they magically float back to the Shire and find that Salron, Sauron's younger sister, has turned all the creatures into barbie doll type things!!!

[Saruman]

13. Gollum climbs to the top of Barad Dur and pokes Sauron in the eye. Gollum becomes the new Lord of Mordor, and, when he bites off Frodo's ring finger at Mount Doom, enslaves all of Middle Earth.

[Narisunell]

14. Frodo reveals his secret love for Gollum and they get married. In Mt. Doom. All of ME dies because of the 'heat' at the wedding...

[Saruman]

15. While being imprisoned at Orthanc, Gandalf steals one of Saruman's explosive devices. At the Bridge of Khazad-dum, Gandalf throws this at the balrog, causing an explosion that turns the mountains into a gigantic crater.

[Narisunell]

Saruman i Gandalf, Gimli is an Elf, Legolas is the dwarf, Boromir and Aragorn are Hobbits, and the hobbits are balrogs. And they all have the exact same faces. (just imagine Legolas all sqaushed up and Gimli all stretched out and you'll see what i mean...) after the quest, these secrets are revealed. :elfeek:

[Evenstar]

That's confusing! (or I'm thick.) lol

[Narisunell]

no, it's confusing. i know, cuz i made it up.

17) I steal the One Ring and rule over all of ME. ME turns into one of those perfect little worlds and Sauron becomes bunny rabbit!

[Evenstar]

ahhh, Sauron a bunny rabbit! lol

18. Sam returns to Hobbiton with Frodo, Merry and Pippin to find that Rosie has left for Rivendell, and become a nun (if you get them in ME)

[Narisunell]

haha!! hilarious!!! yes, i thought Sauron the Bunny was cute too... Sauron the Easter Bunny!!! MWAHAHA!

19. It is revealed that Sauron is none other than... *dun dun dun...* FRODO!!! Bad side wins.

[Aranel]

20. Grima turns out to be nice after all. Eowyn marries him, and together they rule over Rohan in a fair and just manner. The kingdom prospers and they start a fashion for not having eyebrows.

[Evenstar]

lol roflmao

21 Aragorn is killed in battle and Legolas becomes king of Gondor, owing to the large army of elves he has with him who shot Aragorn in the back.

[Aranel]

22. The four Fellowship hobbits start a boy band by the most original and inspired name of "Hobbitz". They attract a large following of screaming fangirls. Saruman becomes their roadie, coz he thinks he will get girls after him too

[Narisunell]

23. LOTR characters are all sucked into the Matrix because of double agent Agent Elrond Smith.

[Aranel]

(continued from Narisunell's)
24. It turns out that when Frodo wears the Ring he has the power to see the Matrix and do cool bullet time stunts. So Frodo teams up with Neo to defeat Agent Elrond.

[Narisunell]

lol hey! lol Frodo and Neo on a team? Hello, Dream Team... :drool: lol ;)

25) After helping the Matrix, Legolas and Aragorn create their own boy band, One Guy, One Elf, a A Creature. (Gollum is the drummer... need i say more? lol )big record deal. Sauron sells the ring and puts the omeny into the stockmaket under the name 1G1EAC (a.k.a. 1 Guy, 1 Elf, A Creature... lol )

[Aranel]

continued...

27. The stock goes thorugh the roof until the band have a falling out over who is the prettiest. They break up and each pursue a solo career, but only Gollum is successful. Sauron goes bankrupt and ends up selling hotdogs by the side of the road

[Narisunell]

continued....

28. Mary Lou meets Sauron. they fall in love but one day Sauron realizes Mary Lou is that elf from that boy band that lost him all that money years ago!!!! Legolas tries to reunite the band to save his relationship...

[Estell]

STOP THAT, bad thing!:nono: roflmao There are children present!:gaga: Oh - right - I am one. :grin:

29. (I think) It is revealed that Aragorn and Arwen have an illegitimate love child - and I can't decide if it's Legolas or Frodo. "Boating accident," huh?:rolleyes:

[Aranel of Mirkwood]

30: Tom Bombadil: Frodo I am your father

Frodo: What about Drogo, he's my father?

Tom Bombadil: Merry I am your father, and yours Sam and yup yours too Pippin

Golberry: and it's all one big happy Family reunion

[Narisunell]

Estell- yours isn't much... shall we say... 'cleaner'.... lol lol lol

continued from my other one...

31: Legolas is succesful! but aragorn, the singer, forgot how to sing... too much time away from arwen's singing lessons... so everyone hates them and claims they're a 'lost cause'... Legolas saves relationship, only because Sauron is so stupid to believe that that fraud money Legolas gave him was real...

[Aranel]

32. Theoden sets up a second-hand horse business. He gets put in jail when he sells Aragorn a horse that turns out to have been stolen from Eomer and re-sprayed...

[Narisunell]

33. Legolas becomes the Brush Ghost and rides his Night Mare around stealing everyone's brushes... lol lol

[Friend of Maglor]

*peeps in, wow this is scary*

34. i jump into the story and switchthe bottle of miruvor at Caradhras to a bottle of BFRM, all of the Fellowship convulse and explode violently, exept for legolas, who we find out if Feanor incarnate, he takes the ring, finds maglor (who is still wandering around on the beach) and becomes the greatest dark lord of all time :flamer:

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

35- Pippin becomes woman and falls in love with Merry.
lol (that was on top of my head)

[Friend of Maglor]

it would be worse if he did it without becoming a woman :naughty: ........but please dont do THAT lol

36. Fëanor reincarnates to get his Sils, and settles for the Ring instead and becomes

THE GREATEST DARK LORD OF ALL TIMES :flamer:

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

37- Boromir comes comes back to life and marries Gimli.

[Friend of Maglor]

38 (you had to do it.......:nono: lol ) : Arwen marries the Dark lord Fëanor and Aaragorn goes to live with the Hobbits.

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

*laughs evily*
39- Legolas falls into another world (kare kano witch is Magna) and falls in love with Yukino Miyazawa!!!!!

[Friend of Maglor]

wow......40: Fëanor conquers that world too :flamer: any his darkness exeeds all boundaries........

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

41- Gollum keeps the wring and gives it to Frodo and proposes
to him. lol

[Friend of Maglor]

42. (:naughty: Raven.....) Feanor kills Gollum and we discover that the reason is...... he is a Pervy Hobbit Fancier :elfeek:

[Narisunell]

oh dear... i'm glad Frodo and Gollum didn't get married! :o :o :o lol

43. Legolas opens a beauty salon for dwarves. Oh wait, that one wasn't rejected, was it? lol lol roflmao

[Friend of Maglor]

hehehe roflmao
44. Fëanor......oh wait this one doesnt have him it it :o :elfeek:
Gollum adapts to Mt. Doom llife and resurects as Pyro in Xmen (sorry my friend is a superhero freak)

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

45: Legolas and Rogue (From X-Man) get hitched
and start a hillbilly family of there own.
*laughs evily*
MUST STAY AWAY FROM GASOLINE!!!!
I'm hyper write know.
*rocks back and forth in a corner*

[Elbereth]

46: balrog is actually rather pathetic and miserable but very aggressive towards strangers. Apparantly he was bullied by the other balrogs when he was ickle. After being given counceling by Gandalf he joins the forces of good and helps to destroy the ring by trying to melt it. He also bravely sets fire to the nazgul and Saruman's robes.

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

47: Orcs were hippie clothing and talk about chocalate
and kindnessthey talk about flowers and saving
the hobbits and not eating there legs. They join the peace and
happyness with the Hobbits in Shire, and frolick with the elves.
lol
I had to do that............ :)

[Friend of Maglor]

lol v nice (i like the balrog one roflmao)
48. Glorfindel marries Arwen because he is 10000000X a better person than Aragorn and arwen lives forever.

i m sorry, thats my pet theory....lollollol

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

What about me Hippie and the orcs one?
I thought that was pretty funny..... It made me laugh...*self esteem drops*
Anyways.......*self esteem reboosts even more than before*

49: Gimli locks Arwin up in the Mirkwood dungeons and takes
Aragorn for himself. (they hug in the TTT I have noticed that
I thought was a very funny hug)

[Narisunell]

i liekd the orcs one!!

50) Legolas realizes he has a phobia of chicken, so he goes to live on a farm with Sauron to try and overcome his fear. Sauron realizes he is crushing on Leggy. :o

[Friend of Maglor]

Phobia of chicken (and of course hippie orcs were funny Raven lol) roflmao

51) Frodo gets rid of the ring, finds the Silmaril in the heart of mount doom, and starts a war with Elrond.... who has had a physco pathic obsession with shiny things ever since Arwen left for Minas Tirith.

[RavenWingsofDarkness]

52.) Legolas marries a she-orc and gives the she-orc a makeover to look like Madonna!!!!

[Estell]

53. Aragorn becomes his generation's Jane Goodall and goes to live with the hobbits and contribute to the study of them.:p