Tolkien Quotes that Sound Wrong....

[Magickcello]

< Daffadowndilly-what the heck??
< "Cast off those cold rags! Run naked on the grass, while Tom goes a-hunting!"-Tom Bombadil uh.......
< "They will come on to you in the wild. Some dark place where there is no help"-Strider :naughty:
< All words dike, queer, gay used wrongly
< "Give it to me!"-Boromir "trying to take the ring" from Frodo......right..... :rolleyes:
< "No!" said Aragorn, taking his hand and kissing his brow
Mine arent very good, but if you have any add them!

[Pippins-Girlo]

Those are pretty funny. lol No offense, but when they first show Elrond in Rivendell, he looks really gay! He's soooo UGLY!! He looks better in the matrix. He looks gay.

[Magickcello]

Yes I think Elrond looks better with shades and a gun... lol

[Sindarin]

Elrond isn't unattractive, he's stoic.

[Sindarin]

< The Great Eye, is ever watchful.

According to Saruman, the Dark Lord "sees all."

I wonder if Sauron is a voyeur. lol

[A! Elbereth]

About Elrond.... right before they show Frodo's beautiful face, while he is sleeping so lovely in rivendell:loveyou: :blush:..... Elrond is shown on one side of the screen and he is speaking Sindarin.... Does it not look like his eyes are crossed, and is posessed? It freaked me out the first time I saw it lol

[Sindarin]

He's just concentrating on his spell - to save "beautiful" Frodo's life. lol

[A! Elbereth]

oh yes "beautiful" is right!

It still scares me tho...

[Sindarin]

Elrond's kind of "freaky", I suppose. lol

[Magickcello]

shall we imagine the impossible....say Elrond breaks down and starts to sob? lol I doubt in his 6000 years he hasnt even cracked a smile.
That was a good one Sindarin!
<Aragorn to Galadriel-"Lady,you know all my desire and have long held in keeping the only treasure that I seek." Hmmmmm....whats he talking about THERE? :elfeek:

[Sindarin]

GALADRIEL: ...And what would a dwarf as of an elf?

*Dare I even think it?*

[Magickcello]

:rotfl:
a *peice* of galadriel to have WHERE EVER he goes
:naughty:

[Sindarin]

roflmao

[Magickcello]

<Eoywn to Merry:"I will bear you before me under my cloak!"
Now we know your true colours Eoywn! :elfeek:

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: The enemy still lacks one thing to give him strength... :naughty:

[Sindarin]

SAM: Why, you'll be beating Mr. Bilbo next!

[Magickcello]

Was Sauron a virgin or are we just not up the same tree here? (of course, the spikey armour is a turn on :naughty: )
lol
<I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king....may I ask WHY he was following him? :naughty:

[Sindarin]

SAM: If there's any magic about, it's right down deep, where I can't lay my hands on it, in a manner of speaking. lol

[Sindarin]

FRODO: You can see and feel it everywhere.
SAM: Well, you can't see nobody working it.

[Sindarin]

SAM: It's not the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.
FRODO: I am afraid that's only too true, Sam.

*Okay, enough with these perverse metaphores...at least for the moment* lol

[Magickcello]

lol
<A dike ran like a stony trough between ridged hills, and a trickling stream flowed among its bottom.
If you can use your imagination......:naughty:

[Magickcello]

ahem....what exactly was tolkien emplying by "ho" Tom Bombadil???????

[Sindarin]

lol roflmao

[Magickcello]

lol
oh we can do chapters too!
for example:
The Steward and the King :naughty:
The Black Gate Opens :elfeek:
Three is company.....

[Magickcello]

or perhaps if you add a coma in the right spot.....
Frodo and Sam stopped, dead

[Sindarin]

Speaking of chapters, here one!

THE RING GOES SOUTH. roflmao

*Piercings anyone?*

[Magickcello]

lol
just like it "abandoned gollum" *clink clink clink*

[Sindarin]

Here's another one...

THE TAMING OF SMEAGOL. :fanboy:

[Magickcello]

lol
yes, but what exactly were they doing in that
Council of Elrond...?:elfeek:

[Pil]

:nono: :nono: :fanboy: Naughty boy!

[Magickcello]

Magickcello<------GIRL

[Sindarin]

MERRY: We can't go on like this, I want some air. :naughty:

[Magickcello]

lol sindarin
I think tolkien was on coke the entire time he wrote the charactor tom bombadil-either that or tom was a little.....happy if you know what I mean.... :naughty:

[Magickcello]

how about when all three young hobbit men took baths together.....:naughty:

[Sindarin]

roflmao

[Magickcello]

.....and pippin leaped into the air.....
lol

[Sindarin]

:elfeek:

[Magickcello]

and frodo said "whoa!" lol
<There was a terrific splash and a shout of WHOA! from frodo
so thats why he never married......

[Pil]

Magickcello....ur scaring me! mecry

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol TO EVERYTHING ON THIS THREAD...HOW COULD I NOT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THE RING GOES SOUTH?! roflmao

[Sindarin]

It is quite amazing isn't it? How much comedic relief one can find in LOTR. lol lol lol

BOROMIR: It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for such a little thing....such a little thing.

*The dark secret behind Boromir's many intimate, yet failed relationships with women.*

:naughty:

[Magickcello]

such a.....little thing?
:elfeek:
lol lol lol
I hope Eowyn isnt too badly off-after all, they are brothers! :naughty:
<And taking frodo's hand in his he walked down from cerian amroth.....oh my

[Daughter of Finarfin]

Pippin in "Flotsam and Jetsam" the Two Towers: "There were few faggots around and most of the wood we could find was wet." oookay...

[Sindarin]

:elfeek: :rolleyes:

[Magickcello]

lol
the "ho tom bombadil" is quite a merry fellow...... :elfeek:

[Illuvatar]

Bilbo: "Old Toby.....the finest weed in the South Farthing"

Sauman to Gandalf: "Too much of the Halfling's weed has clouded your brain" (or something like that!lol)

[Magickcello]

lol

[Black Rider]

oh dear good lord this is so kinky! but it's hilarious lol lol lol

[Magickcello]

that is the entire point!!! lol
"We could if our legs would do it," said merry "and we could breathe properly..." :o

[Orc]

Boramir: They've got a cave troll!

[Sindarin]

GANDALF: Hold out your hand, Frodo, it's quite cool. Hold it up, and look closely.

[Sindarin]

SAM: Oh, Mr.Frodo, that's hard!

[Orc]

Merry and Pippin: MUSHROOMS!!!!!

[Sindarin]

lol

[Sindarin]

SAM: Can you manage it?
FRODO: I can manage it. I must.

:naughty:

[Pil]

Tolkien wasn't writing a fantasy novel...he was reliving his colledge days! roflmao

[Sindarin]

Was he? :naughty:

[Pil]

I dunno...things can be got up to in colledge...oh hell in school too! lol

[Sindarin]

lol

[Magickcello]

you people make me sick! lol

Gandalf: Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks! (ahem...ahem)

Pippin and Merry: Stick it in the ground!
It is in the ground! (cough...cough)

Eowyn: I do not desire a man's PITY (well when you say it like THAT it sounds a little....errrmmm....)

[Estel]

Oh, I needed a good laugh. We used to giggle hysterically at the idea of "throwing a couple faggots on the fire". I think Tolkien smoked a but too much pipeweed!!!

:elfqueen:

[Magickcello]

lol !
Then he ordered his men to lay him on a prye.....

[Miruvor]

Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks!
Yeah! I always thought that was kind of weird for him to say that line right in the middle of doing one of his cheap tricks!:(

roflmao

[Aubrey]

Well, what about that part after the battle with the orcs in moria, and the troll had just stabbed Frodo....

Gandalf says: "It seems there is more to this hobbit than meets the eye..."

And then Frodo pulls back his shirt to reveal...what? :elfeek: A pretty silver dress??? :naughty: :naughty:

[Eowyn]

Originally posted by Magickcello
< "Cast off those cold rags! Run naked on the grass, while Tom goes a-hunting!"-Tom Bombadil uh.......


:naughty: sorry being good now. :angel:

[Lynx]

I always thought what he said in the book instead of "conjurer of cheap tricks" sounded wrong:

"Then you will see Gandalf the Grey uncloaked."

[El Ravager]

Here, take it. Light as a feather, and hard as dragon's scale.

I know what you saw, for verily it is in my mind also.

It is mine to give to whom I will

You cannot wield it! None of us can!

You will give it to Sauron! :grin:

[Catz]

tsk, tsk, tsk......you people have such filthy minds:o :rolleyes: lol
and dont get me started on TB and nekkid hobbits:naughty: ;) lol lol
:catz:

[Aranel]

"Boromir was fingering his great horn and frowning."

He was in the council of Elrond at the time as well...in front of all those people!
I was soooo worried when i read that...! :elfeek:
lol

[Eowyn]

Aranel you forgot the 'Aragorn unbuckling his belt' one! how could you!

[Estel]

Admittedly I have a deranged mind, but I was only a mere teenager when I first read this passage and even then it was WRONG:
A long hairy arm took each of them by the neck and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Grishnákh's great head and hideous face between them. Pippin shuddered as cold hard fingers groped down his back.


:elfqueen:

[A! Elbereth]

Originally posted by Aubrey
Well, what about that part after the battle with the orcs in moria, and the troll had just stabbed Frodo....

Gandalf says: "It seems there is more to this hobbit than meets the eye..."

And then Frodo pulls back his shirt to reveal...what? :elfeek: A pretty silver dress??? :naughty: :naughty:

*ahem* I would rather he pull his shirt back to reveal nothing underneath! :o :elfeek: :loveyou: :drool:

*runs away laughing insanely* lol

[Magickcello]

lol lol *burst into obnoxious giggles*
I CAN'T start thinking about these things; I won't be able to STOP! ACK! Kinkyness has invaded my brain! get it out! get it out! (which, in its self sounds kinky!)
::::cough::::: anyway!

When Gandalf said....
"Then in the name of the king, go and find some old man of less lore and more wisdom who keeps some in his house." (oh my, what DID he mean by...some??? :naughty: )

And Arenal...here's something to go with your little horn bit (my that sounded wrong- see I DO have a nasty mind!) :
Horns, horns, horns. Great horns of the North wildly blowing.

And...
And in that very moment, away behind in some courtyard of the City, a **** crowed. :elfeek:

ok I'll shut up now lol

[Aranel]

yes, horns are so easy to misinterpret...hehehe!!
OK Eowyn, here is Aragorn quote:

"Slowly Aragorn unbuckled his belt...
...The guard stepped back and looked with amazement on Aragorn."

I only took a few lines out there as well!!!
:elfeek:
lol lol

[Lady Melody]

LOL

[Elven Beauty]

A! Elbereth.... he he he, I wish he would have revealed nothing also! They should have removed more than his shirt... oops... *runs away screaming 'I love sexy hobbitman titties!!! whe he he he!'* lol... :D

[Elbereth]

He stroked it gently and then he blushed and turned hastily away.
'Hullo, Sam!' said Frodo.
'It's warm!' said Sam.

apologies if this has alredy been mentioned but I was reading LOTR (day off school cos of the snow!!!) and it just screamed 'take this out of context and see what a picture it makes' :naughty:
Also



I can't help feeling curious, you know, after all I've heard. I should very much like just to peep at it again.'

[Tar-Palantir]

It's only funny out of context since sam says directly after, "Meaning you hand".

[Elven Beauty]

hmm... I can't seem to remember any metaphoric quotes at the mo. but your guys are good:D

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

here's a pretty INTERESTING quote:
'and lying down he (Sam, like who else?) tried to comfort Frodo with his arms and body.' :naughty:

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Originally posted by Aranel
"Boromir was fingering his great horn and frowning."


sure leads to public outcry when interpreted out of context :naughty:

[Wilwarin]

These are really........sick! But oh well! there funny to! Here's some I found:

Gollum: Sméagol will fetch water, yes. But what does the Hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.
Sam: Never you mind. If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn.


Sam: Too thin and drawn he is, not right for a hobbit. If I can get thse coneys cooked I'm going to wake him up.


He was naked, lying as if in a swoon on a heap of filthy rags....
"Frodo! Mr. Frodo, my dear!..... It's Sam, I've come!" He half lifted his master and hugged him to his breast. Frodo opened his eyes.
"Am I still dreaming?" he muttered. "But he other dreams were horrible."
"You're not dreaming at all, Master," said Sam. "It's real. It's me. I've come."
"I can hardly believe it," said Frodo cluching him.

I cut out a littel bit from that last one, but not much!

OK, I'll stop now!

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

"...upon his white forehead lay one of Sam's brown hands, and the other lay softly on his master's breast."

"...and slowly putting out a trembling hand, very cautiously he touched Frodo's knee -- but almost the touch was a caress."

Haha, I know Tolkien wanted to portray Frodo's and Sam's friendship in great detail, and Sam's loyalty to Mr. Frodo, but he certainly has got us thinking... :naughty:

[Little Devil]

lol, but I guess we just have dirty miinds. lol ;) :naughty:

[Wilwarin]

Yeah......I don't think I'm going to do any more of these! I won't be able to read the books with a straight face again! Which is bad, since I'm reading them again even now!

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

I have always the read the book with a straight face until i saw those slash fanfics on the internet. esp. Frodo/Sam
There's quite a number on Aragorn/Legolas too.
And many where all the characters are gay. :huh:

[Little Devil]

I wouldn't think so, but unless you read stuff like Secret Diaries (which are hilairious! roflmao) then I think we would start thinking stuff like that though it's perfectly harmless I guess. ;)

[Tári Celebrindal]

The landlord jumped with surprise. "You! You're always popping up!":elfeek:

*****
"Well?" said Strider. "Why did you do that? You have put your foot in it!...Or should I say your finger?"

:naughty:

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Ohhhhhh there's loads of suspicious comments about Frodo and Sam in the book. You don't need to look at fanfic to see it there.

Such as when Sam is making a stand against Shelob with Frodo lying (apparently) lifeless on the ground and Tolkien refers to Sam as something defending its fallen mate. Now come on please!

Let me at least maintain a small amount of reading into the words of the writer. This is "fantasy" writing afterall.

A.L.L.

[Winyaél Greenleaf]

Poor Sam and Frodo lol

[riderofrohan]

Smeagol: Give us that my love
Deagol: Why?
Smeagol: Because it's my birthday, my love, and I wants it.

[Aaliyah Baggins]

Frodo does have a elvish air around him you know and so do I!

[Aragorn's Latest Lay]

Erm.... ok....

[little green woman]

I found a good one in the last chapter where they come home:
Gaffer: And I hope Sam behaved hisself and given satisfaction?
Frodo: Perfect satisfaction, Mr. Gamgee.
;)

[Narisunell]

little green woman- naughty!! :nono: lol lol lol roflmao

these are all a bit.. erm... *shifts uncomfortably in her seat* kinky.... but hilarious! i can't think of any at the mo...

[Ruby Yavevalar]

ok, you ppls have very nasty minds!!! What am I saying?!?! I have a nasty mind!!! Sometimes......... lol haha!!!! But these are funny!!! I can't think of any at the moment, either....but if you look when Smeagol calls the hobbits nasty, the word a$$ is in there......just thought I'd point out that Smeagol is calling them a worse name than just "nasty".... Oh, and what did Smeagol DO with the ring when he wasn't sneaking around catchin goblins?? :naughty: lol (other than stare at it...think of it that way...)