the catzs basket

[Catz]

i just found this the other day.....it was in fact a song, but i have no idea what happened to the music for it:blush: , and there were more verses, but its been so long since i wrote it that i cant recall them.....anyway......here tis.....

A Lament for Lorien

Oh whither will the leaves go
When the dark and lonely north winds blow
When there is no eye to mark their fall
When cold and lonely is this hall

When oversea I at last pass
And leave this land of gold
Oh where shall I find heartsease at last
When my heart is torn and cold

Oh whither will the leaves go
When the dark and lonely north winds blow
When there is no eye to mark their fall
When cold and lonely is this hall

For tho Autumn leaves cannot last
And will wither as they grow old
Yet fresh in my mind they remain, tho long past
They remain as a light in my soul

Oh whither will the leaves go
When the dark and lonely north winds blow
When there is no eye to mark their fall
When cold and lonely is this hall

And when the autumn winds do blast
And whip lonely mallorns with cold
Then will I remember, tho the wood is long past
The splendour of Lorien the gold

Oh whither will the leaves go
When the dark and lonely north winds blow
When there is no eye to mark their fall
When cold and lonely is this hall

:catz:

[Illuvatar]

Wow! Go Catz!! :gofatty: notworthy

I did not know there was a poetic spirit within the Feline Quen! lol

No, really, that was very well done, and I imagine that music would have complimented the words quite well. I could alomost hear it!

Illu:cool:

[Catz]

thanks Illu..........i think :rolleyes: ;) lol
the original renaissance catz thatz me lol roflmao roflmao lol
:catz:

[Catz]

Hmmm i only have really depressing stuff at the moment...tho this one is probably the most positive one ive done lately....hehehe nothing like writing to exorcise your demons.....

Forgiven
and one day when the light house beam of hope pierces the dark
like your careless barbs have flayed my heart
then down will pour the rain
heavens own tears
which heal tho they sear
drowning my pain
and when that day comes i shall proudly carry that mark
and hold up my head, displaying scars that no longer smart
conquering my fears
finished with tears
then i shall laugh again
i shall walk in the suns full view
and i will forgive you

:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

A sad ballad, the type of poem/song I always like best. Maybe my gypsy-nature and fascination causes it. I will make my own melody for it,and maybe record it one day.

You said there were more, but I only found this one, pity, i'd really like to see more of this clear but sensitive style poetry, with just a touch of the Tolkienian spirit in it.

[Nessa the Dancer]

That is wonderfull Catz.

I made up my own tune and sang it as I read it.

[Elentari]

Dear Catz,
How've you been?! Sorry I haven't been around lately; I had trouble getting into the community, but everything seems okay now! :grin:
This poem of Lorien is wonderful! I hope to read more things by your pen someday soon! The fading of Lothlorien is one of the saddest themes in Middle Earth to me. I'm glad you have put some of that loss and grief into words!mecry
Fabulous poem!:thumbs:

[Catz]

some more depressing poems.......sorry lol.......but i write for therapy ;)
you have been warned ;)

Mirror
You know that to break a mirror is 7 years bad luck
Perhaps that explains the shattered pieces scattered about
their quicksilver surfaces
Stained and smeared with the heartsblood
When I look into the shards I see you looking back at me
So many yous,
Which do I choose?
Or perhaps the choice isn’t mine at all………
when I reach for you the fragments cut deep……….
Whose blood is it?
Yours or mine?

Alone
One………..indivisible
Or so they say
I say one is infinitely divisable
Able to shatter into a million pieces
Each me
Each different
Each a tiny fear
A small pain
All held within
Too scared to reach out
Afraid to need too much
And cringing from whats inside
The deep dark………the quiet sobbing
Till theres no longer any bearing it
They say it is better to have loved and lost
I don’t know
How do you tell?
If you have been loved
Or if you were just a part of some crazy game
Just a piece on someone elses board
Not even knowing what the game is
Does anyone ever explain the rules to a pawn?
And does a pawn care who wins?


Without You
Without you
The sun still shines
Tho it doesn’t warm me as much as it did
theres a coldness deep inside,
where my heart used to be
The wind still blows
But I don’t feel the desire to fly a kite
Or to blow bubbles
Or chase autumn leaves
Night still falls
But mine isn’t for resting anymore
No more knitting the ravelled sleeve
But a round of what ifs and might have beens
The world still turns
But mine turns a little slower than before

In The Dark
Alone in the dark
I'm always amazed at how many tears one person can cry
Mourning lost innocence……….blighted trust
So many lies, now just so much noise, lost on the cold keening wind
Meaningless apologies
Sorry platitudes
Such pain endured
And for what?
Why?
Love that most precious of treasures, dangled before your eyes
so searingly bright and beautiful
dazzling
Then snatched away
Leaving you
Alone in the dark

[Illuvatar]

Very moving Catz..........

I sincerely hope that the therapy is working. :thumbs:

Beautifull poetry!!

[Lady Ashley]

Ooh, very deep poetry. I can't write depressing poems...your poems are excellent! So deep and thoughtful.

[Catz]

thanks guys.........and yeah Illu it always helps..........just getting the feelings out always helps
:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

this one is for you catz....
the only way out i know

however deep and dark and cold the pit
it always has an exit
like everybody knows who ever has been in it

a tiny star so far and faint you hardly
think you see it
that's where you have to look and try to be it

coz if you concentrate on it it grows less far and small
and turns into a galaxy
and suddenly you realise: I have got friends, they care for me

within a tear a smile then suddenly will reappear
as soon as you can see:
we are your friends, we're here

:jester:

[Vanyë]

love your poems Catz. especially Without You

i don't have the humility to ask for help from a stranger because i know i need it but i'm afraid they'll fall under the conclusion i'm going to kill myself.
i would never do that but i DO tear myself down emotionally and people who actually think they care...don't see it or if they do ignore it.
i don't think anyone can see it because they'ce gotten so used to seeing one side of me.

Whoa! getting to heavy here*chuckle*...i guess its my bitterness at my family and friends.

[Vanyë]

Hey Illuvatar? How do you post a picture? i draw but i am not sure on how to show people here.

[Catz]

thank you Vanye.......and thank you ridn(((hugs))))..........i love the poem and i am very thankful for my friends........without whom id be a soggy mess ;)
hey Vanye.........i understand what its like to be bleeding and have no one notice...........if you want to talk just PM me.........it can help to just tell someone, and its often easier to tell someone online :)
:catz:

[Arninquelote]

Awww, Catz...*hug*

[Ilmarë]

A year... and the pain is still as keen. Good work, Catz:thumbs:

[Catz]

thanks Ilmare.....it doesnt go away...........just lessens if your lucky
:catz:

[Catz]

a couple more............

Words
Just a few small words from your lips
And a dart penetrated my heart
Venomous and icy
Spreading its chilling crystals thru my body
Freezing my blood and stopping my nerves
Seeking needles of icy pain filling every part of me
Till ice is all that remains
Ice that shatters at a touch
Like one of those roses
dipped into liquid oxygen
looking the same on the outside…
But already broken within
Just five small words
That shattered my soul
“I don’t love you anymore”
colder than the void between the stars
and sharper than razors

Cold
so cold….
What happened to the fire that I loved?
The flame of passion that burned so brightly
With such promise…
That I warmed myself by
Filling the cold dark places with such light?
All gone….
Light turned to dark
Love to despair
Fire into ice
Your touch is so cold now
Corpse like, it freezes my marrow
Making it hard to breathe
I suppose winter had to come
But so soon?
I wish I was as cold as you
Frozen heart,
Icy soul,
Then perhaps it wouldn’t hurt
But I'm just flesh
Shivering and naked
Alone in the nite

:catz:

[Ilmarë]

Luck? What's that when it's at home?:)

[ridnarhti_M]

Even the deepest levels of Moria feel like the heart of the sun compared to the cold in your heart, catz. Tho it's hot in my attic a shiver went through my spine when i read these poems.
maybe hugging you will freeze me too... but i'll take that risk {{{:catz:}}}
:jester:

[Vanyë]

thanks Catz.

[Vanyë]

Wow thats really good.

[Catz]

total change of pace for me ;)
heres a morality tale , with a sting you know where :o ;) lol

And the moral is…….
This is a cautionary tale I tell
About doing the things that you oughta
For if this lad had minded that well
Eyes would not now be being made to water

It started with love, as things often do
He told her loved her uniquely
She loved him back and was happy although
The fact was, hed lied completely

So it came to the point, when he decided to dump her
Telling her “we can still be friends”
She cried for a week, his words had just stumped her
But then she decided on her revenge

She took out a photo, him nekkid as a crow ;)
One sent when theyd still been in love
And sent it with details, in case any wanted to know
To the Leather Boys website, signed “dove” :o

Shes still all alone, tho its quite to her liking
In the knowledge that her ex is a popular lad
His email is jammed full of hairy butt bikers
Shes given him friends, on every hand :flamer:

So the moral you see is very clear you will find
As she smiles and drinks another Dimple
Be true or youll end up getting it from behind
It really is that simple ;) lol

:catz:

[Beleg Strongbow]

LOL!!! Catz....absolutely wonderful! That's the way to go, girl!! I also like your choice of beverage.....I feel included...lol

[Tar-Ancalimë]

ohmygosh *falls over*

If nothing else, the rhyme alone would have me in stitches...

It's lovely, sweetie. Now don't you mention that nasty word "moderator" to me again ;)

[Illuvatar]

O.....M.....G!!!!

lol roflmao lol

*Illu picks himself up off the floor where he has fallen down from laughing so hard, and wipes the tears from his eyes*

Brilliant!!! Absolutely....positivly....BRILLIANT!!!!!

[Beleg Strongbow]

See Catz...and all the time we thought Illu would have censored it!!

[Catz]

lol well im glad it seems to have tickled everyones funnybones........it made me smile too as i wrote it..........thanks to my "chat support group" lol who made me think of it ;) DarkStormCrow, Beleg, Ice Dragoness and ridn ;)
((((HUGS)))) to all you guys
:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

never in my life i said a thing that might have triggered THAT revenge... but it's the best ever, catz :)

BTW even felines seem to have stings I see

:jester:

[Polly Sandybanks]

lol

O M G!

I love it! :) lol

[Arninquelote]

Revenge is a wonderful thing...:grin:

[Ilmarë]

:flamer: It is... this is very creative... but i think i shall wait a little longer to exact mine on the sorry SOB.:naughty: ... 'scuse the French!

[Catz]

just something ive been thinking on lately

Also Ran
Not enough…
Are there any sadder words in the language?
Good but,
not good enough
Pretty but
not pretty enough
Needed but
not needed enough
And loved but
never loved enough
almost, but not quite
always in the race
never the winner
glimpsing but never tasting the prize
how long before you give up
and just don’t run anymore?

:catz:

[Vanyë]

wow you really capture the disappointment of life. Thats how i feel about myself sometimes. *sigh*

[ridnarhti_M]

Only when i end up in a wheelchair, Catz... and then I'll still compete :)

:jester:

[Catz]

this was written a few years ago as lyrics to a very simple little celtic type air.........the tune was designed for it to be sung acapella, and theres a strong tradition of unaccompanied singing in the Irish tradition....usually melancholic and sad ;) so its right up my alley lol

Oh my love is far away from me
Parted by the restless waves
Many miles of empty bitter sea
My hearts tears taken to the grave

Oh seagull fly to my lovers side
Trace the wild winds to his heart
And tell him that his love abides
Here as I have from the start

Oh wind that blows the oceans spray
Take these words to my loves ears
I shall love him this and every day
And for him alone fall my tears

Oh hear the storm winds cry and moan
My love do you hear me?
Do you see my face in wind swept foam?
Oh my love do you see?

:catz:

[Ilmarë]

A lovely lyric Catz... and one to which i can completely relate. Such a pity that the people for whom words like these are written are more often than not so blind and so undeserving of the tribute. Well done again.

[ridnarhti_M]

nice melancholic song, catz... the salty taste of the sea and tears isnt that different, aint it?
tune by your own? got it somewhere? I'd love to hear the both together :)

:jester:

[Vanyë]

loved it.
and thanks ;)

[Catz]

thanks guys.........and yeah ridn there was music for it, but i dont have the notation any more, and i think i have a very ........and i DO mean very.......bad tape of it.....it was just a "note to self" thing really, to give the people i was working with an idea of it......and since i dont read or write music (im terribly ignorant ;) ), i just did it on my little dictaphone......tho im NOT too sure where that is either lol
and Vanye......youre very welcome:cool:
:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

great job, Catz! I love it! I had to sing it to myself when I read it even though I dont know the tune, LOL! My favorite line is : Do you see my face in windswept foam?

Keep up the awesome work!
~L. Luth~

[Lady Ashley]

Great job, Catz! That's lovely. Perhaps it's an elf-woman in Valinor singing sadly for her Noldorian husband who's gone away, or a wife of an elven mariner who went to try and find Valinor but never came back. *sniff*

[Catz]

this is another one done in a very dark time

Wasteland
Harrowed heart
Uprooted soul
life seeping like water
out onto sterile ground
Barren self, stumbling thru the waste
Not even a weed to grow
Just the dark and the cold
Curling in upon myself
A blood dark rose
Night scented and ravishing
Clutched against my breast
With edges of razored steel
And thorns that rip
tearing flesh as I cradle my pain
my dearest desire
my deepest agony

and this one......which while not cheerful, is more reflective i feel

Roses
blossoms of love
fragile and beautiful
silken petals soft as the touch of a lovers lips
scent as honeyed as that of your beloved
sighing sweetly beneath you
but with thorns sticky with the crimson
heartsblood of those too quick to reach
or is it too slow?
unluckier perhaps…..
the remnants of all of those lonely souls
who have impaled themselves
bleeding to death
reaching for the prize

this one was done a while ago......but i love moths ;)

Moths
Look at loves flame
That we circle like moths
Flirting with its heat
Weaving our fluttering paths
Around the centre
Wanting to be part of it
To give ourselves over
But afraid of the pain
And unable to face the dark
Do moths ever fear
I wonder
That incandescent moment
of self immolation
When they and the flame become one?
Do moths have second thoughts?

Two Faces
There are two faces in my mirror,
One is me……..that’s my smile,
My cool, tho brittle laugh
Those are my eyes,
And the glossy coating is intact
Unbreached
No hint of whats inside
The other does not smile,
Nor laugh,
Her eyes flinch from mine,
Red with weeping,
But watchful,
Like a caged cat
She says I should know her,
This frightened, wild creature
Look at me, she pleads
I'm dying …….
I wish I could avoid mirrors


:catz:

[Ilmarë]

Catz... my heart bleeds with yours.. every one of these could have been plucked from within me. You have a gift.... thanks for sharing.

[Lady Luthien]

I just love your poems, Catz! They have such beautiful descriptions and I love the free verse, short line style! Keep up the excellent work and I look forward to more soon!
~Luthi~

[Lady Luthien]

Yes...I can relate to that...I have a lot of almost things about me...but you cant let that get you down...you just have to take life as it is and make the best out of it until most of your "almosts" are turned into "very muches"

[Ceri Bloom]

yep but everythign is alwys up-ended on its ear, so maybe life in general is a battle worth fighting for, as in working to turn almosts into very muches...reely liked it thou catz roflmao

[Catz]

so its sad.....dont tell me youre surprised ;) lol
this is one that was inspired by too much time in the company of the regulars of the Friendly Tavern ;)
wish i could write music ;) lol
very much in the style of a celtic lament

I light the candle in the window love
As I did the nite that you left
And I pray, on my knees, to the cold stars above
Till the dark nite itself has fled

The light in the window is a tiny star
To guide your lost ship home
To bring you back into my arms
Tho you wander so far and alone
And no matter how long or how far you are
Over sea over land over stone
I will always remember your promise love
“I will always return home”

You left me to follow your hearts own song
And I could not say you nay
To give my love that for which he longed
Tho in pain, I farewelled you that day

The light in the window is a tiny star
To guide your lost ship home
To bring you back into my arms
Tho you wander so far and alone
And no matter how long or how far you are
Over sea over land over stone
I will always remember your promise love
“I will always return home”

I dreamt last nite I was a sea bird blown
To the shores of a strange place
And on that unfamiliar beach was thrown
A body wearing your sweet face

The light in the window is a tiny star
To guide your lost ship home
To bring you back into my arms
Tho you wander so far and alone
And no matter how long or how far you are
Over sea over land over stone
I will always remember your promise love
But you shall not return home

So I light the candle in the window
As I did the nite that you left
But my prayers are all in vain I know
And I am left bereft

:catz:

[Catz]

mmm this one rhymes too ;) lol

Eowyns Lament
Strong and gentle you were
And I was taken by your eyes
By the warmth of your words
And by your passionate fire

But your heart was not for me
And I watched as you slipped by
Aching every time id see
Her face reflected in your eyes

And in the depths of the nite
Id plead with the uncaring stars
Why should the one that gave me light
Be destined for anothers arms?

My arm is strong
My heart is true
But none of this is fair
For you do not love me
You love one who is not here

So I watch you, unable to tear away
My heart shatters every time
I hear your sweet voice softly say
That name that is not mine

[Lady Ashley]

Ooh, that is lovely! That is so very Eowyn's plight! Well done!

[Catz]

thanks Ash.......i think i know just how she felt ;)
:catz:

[Nessa the Dancer]

That's wonderful Catz!!
It really shows Eowyn's termoil and heartache about Aragorn.
I like it!

[Elbereth]

I never really thought about Eowyn's veiws on the situations before but you captured it really well

[Iarfirithwen]

oooo I really like that Catz. It sounds very fitting for Eowyn.

[Arninquelote]

That is very poignant, Catz, and it communicates Eowyn's despair perfectly. Unrequited love - a terrible thing for a proud woman like Eowyn to bear.

[Catz]

its pretty awful for anyone to bear.....been there done that
i dont normally work in verse, but this one came very easily.......theyre not feelings you forget i guess ;)
thank you all for your kind comments
:catz:

[Ilmarë]

Unrequited love... it must be terrible... i can really feel Eowyn's despair... but still, she moves on and finds love with Faramir - someone who really does love her, so there is a ray of sunshine there.:)

[Lady Luthien]

wow, amazing poem, Catz! You portrayed Eowyn's grief so well! I love "uncaring stars"...please post more soon!
~Luthi~

[Lady Luthien]

thats a brilliant poem, Catz! I love how u use the same verse in several different places...great dramatic affect! Cant' wait to read more!
~Luthi~

[Nessa the Dancer]

That's wonderful Catz!!! Nice to see that you are being consistant ;)
I like the repeated verses, and because they are repeated the change in the last one has more effect, and coupled with the last verse after it....makes me want to mecry it leaves me with a kind of sad empty feeling inside.

I really do love your poetry Catz!!!

[Eledhwen]

That is a beautiful poem Catz! So rich in its melancholy. I can hear the lone singer with a voice clear as a bell. Ah me.... I needed to read something beautiful today. Thanks for that.

~e

[Vanyë]

loved it very much.
and sorry i haven't been around much for the past few days or week, but school started and i am in volleyball. ;)

[Vanyë]

i like the one; Moths. it was interesting. i also like Two Faces.

[Eledhwen]

Catz those are lovely poems! Found "Moths" to be really interesting and make me think...

~e

[Catz]

hmmmm maybe ive been listening to too many old blues songs lol ;)

On the Road
Riding the long dark highway
On the road we all are
Following that white line in the moonlight
Never knowing where or how far
Tracing out the roadmap of our days

Stopping sometimes, shaking off the load
In some lonely little place
Miles from anywhere, an island in the nite
Hoping to find some breathing space
A respite from the road

And maybe youll find a kindly soul
A heart like a fire that beckons
And maybe shell soothe the nitetime frights
And youll shelter, for a few short seconds
A pause on the trip…..getting old

But you know that you wont stay
The road is pulling you on
Hoping that this time you have your goal in your sights
You say your sorries and put her down
And it’s a new road today

And the road stretches out, its endless
And its dark line is inside your soul
Wishing that you could ease your lonely nites
And feeling like a fool
But you know you wont stop this

Cos just around the next bend
Could be your hearts desire
So you keep on riding, looking for the light
Always wondering if the last fire
Was your last chance for this to end

:catz:

[Catz]

this one isnt depressing really...........just sad

In Between
Somewhere between the dream and the awakening
That’s where I wait
In between your lives
There is me
Sitting patiently
Not one thing or the other
And unknown to all
I sit
Unable to move at all
Afraid of losing you
Of being lost
So here I am
trapped like a butterfly
on the pin of your love
so in that moment
On the cusp of sleep
Do you feel me kiss your lips?
caught between fantasy
And reality
Between blindness and seeing
Heart forever on the edge of breaking

:catz:

[Ilmarë]

Very moving, Catz. As you know, i can well relate to this situation.I especially liked the phrase

Unable to move at all
Afraid of losing you
Of being lost

So many times i've felt that recently, but now thankfully, i've moved on... realised (nay, was told) that all parties involved had lost each other... and there was never going to be a way back, no matter how wished for it may be.. and maybe that's as it should be... we can't change the past, just as a leopard can't change its spots... its just fact.
Sincerely.. having read your poems...i hope you can find some peace and closure, that your dark dreams stop and that you find the joy in the sunshine again soon.:)

[Lady Luthien]

Brilliant, as usual, Catz! I always love reading your poetry--such beautiful imagery and awesome descriptions, and I love the short lines! Can't wait to read more!
~Luthi~

[ridnarhti_M]

Between dream and nightmare,
between a smile and a tear,
between was and will be,
there is love,

between virtual and real
between too much and not enough,
between giving and accepting,
there is love...

but where on earth
or in heaven
do i find that time and place
that love which answers mine?

You did beat me to the love in dreams catz...
but then... my native language poems on the subject hardly anyone on this forum will be able to read.

So i tried to answer you off the top of my head ...
to honour your great descriptive power in this poem

:jester:

[Catz]

oh thats beautiful ridn.....i love it
:catz:

[Eledhwen]

ahh Catz... I identify with this one. It's beautiful. I love your lines
"trapped like a butterfly
on the pin of your love"

That captures a lot.

And ridn, your words are a lovely answer - very profound.

~e

[Eledhwen]

Catz, I really like this one as well. You have a great style, such a nice rhythm in your words. What really catches me inside ...

"And the road stretches out, its endless
And its dark line is inside your soul"

and....

"Always wondering if the last fire
Was your last chance for this to end"

Such a sense of wandering sadness. Love it.

~e

[ridnarhti_M]

:jester:

After hesitating half a day i decided to add the 3 options I had to finish my answer to your poem, catz.
I wonder which one will win the votes of the jury( those who did read or will read it) and ofc of the author of the poem that inspired me :)

Here they are:

option 1

but too often you just see
if there's love
from you for me
love is not there too
from me for you

option 2

far too often
it is true
when there's love
from me for you
that alas you see
it's not there
from you for me

option 3

but how often when you say:
"I love you"
is just kiling silence after:
"Do you love me too?"

[Catz]

mmm i know........ive been posting WAY too much in here lol
this was inspired by a song that ive always loved, that a friend sent to me recently

Web of Dreams
I am a dreams shadow, nothing more
As I softly touch your eyes
A half glimpsed figure, seen thru the door
Caught between truth and lies

I am your refuge, holding the dark at bay
And you dream the sweeter for me
But when you rise with the light of day
I am gone, no trace to see

I am your love, tho you are not mine
A nite spirit caught, no longer free
By the beauty and passion that I find
For you are all I can see

A weaver of dreams, caught in her own web
Fingers once deft now lying in place
To this imprisonment so easily led
Needing only to touch your face

And in your dreams, in the depths of your mind
When you see your lovers face
There I am, standing far behind
Aching for that place

:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

I have no words... this is piercing but at the same time soooooooo sweet

:jester:

[Ilmarë]

So bittersweet.... and really very sad.

[Vanyë]

really really loved it Catz :love:

[Eledhwen]

Catz, I've visited your poem a few times today. It's beautiful. It resonates with me. Although if I was to tell why, I would sound mental... :) I really love the whispery, aching thing you have captured here.

~e

[Lady Luthien]

I'm speechless, Catz...your talent is beyond words! (i always say that to poems that are so good that i cant comprehend their greatness) I mean ur imagery is beautiful and descriptions stunning...how did u learn to write like this?? I cannot wait for more!!!
~Luthi~

[Lady Luthien]

Brilliant as always, Catz! Great imagery and descriptions...Cant wait to read more!
~Luthi~

[Vanyë]

OOooh. Loved it much.

[Catz]

ok these are a bit of a mixed bag ;)

Choices
I cant….
And in that moment a caterpillar becomes a butterfly
I wont…
And someone dies
You did…
And at that second forgivness becomes possible
I hate….
And worlds crumple to dust
In every second
Worlds of possibility
Words of power
Yea or nay
Choices all

The forge
Looking at the forge fires
Feeling that heat
crisping your brows
Do you dare to reach into those merciless flames?
To find the prize?
And even if you do
Would you find yourself staring at something that you cannot face?
Too bright
Too hot
Or would you cower back
Become a stoker of the fires
In a mechanical dance
Feeding the flames that consume your fellows
What is the choice?

Fire
such beauty in the flames
I ache to reach for it
But I know that it will burn
So do I risk the flames?
Or take the safe path?
Without the dizzying heights of joy
And minus the depths of despair
Do I take the cold grey path
And keep my frozen heart whole?
Or risk the flaming path
And make my poor heart beat fast in the heat
of your fiery eyes
Even tho I have no guarantee?
Do I risk all?

:catz:

[Mocha]

*claps* :grin:

lovely! I love the first one the most ;)

[Ilmarë]

I like Fire... tho personally i have found that now,after escaping my fire and taking the so - called safe path... my frozen heart is completely thawed and at peace because i opened it to a possibility.. and my path isn't grey... its a myriad of beautiful colours. No way i'd ever go back to the torture and torment of the fire... ever... but each to our own. A lovely poem:grin:

[Vanyë]

lovely, they all were. but i liked Fire the most. :)

[ridnarhti_M]

the :jester: hears parts of a tune when reading the lament, and really hopes the missing parts will come to him soon, though he hears more of a medieval ballad... maybe with some Insular influences for sure

An accompaniment rolling like the waves of the sea, a distant flute, and the Minstrel plucking the strings of a lute, SORRY but i dont have a maidens voice... i hope a male one will nevertheless do.

Applause Catz... for expressing feelings like you are able to.

I hope my melodic efforts will do it justice

[Eledhwen]

These are wonderful Catz! I really like the first...

~e

[Lady Luthien]

Brilliant poems, Catz! I especially liked the last two! I always love your descriptions and word choice...so moving and effective! Can't wait to read more!
~Luthi~

[Catz]

Words
The words are tender,
Soft syllables of sweet poison
Acid dripped into open wounds
Her words of love
And my heart aches with the resonance of them
Their echos in my soul
When I whispered them to you too
Pinned……….
Caught on that razor blade edge
Between need and survival
Between fear and trust
Between her love and mine
Where does the fantasy end and reality bite?
I watch from the shadows
A secret,
Hidden,
To save her heart I stay in the dark
But who will save mine?

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

wow! Brilliant as usual, Catz! I love the imagery and descriptions! Can't wait to read more from you!
~Luthi~

[ridnarhti_M]

moving words, catz my friend, especially if you can really relate to that feeling

:jester:

[Elfdaughter]

Wow!! I would have loved to hear that set to music....beautiful, Catz, absoloutely beautiful....

[ridnarhti_M]

Hi Elfdaughter, catz asked me to download this URL to hear the actual song:

http://www.ekhnaton.net/div/sadsong_.mp3

ridnarhti_M wrote the melody and apologises for the errors in it as he sung it when it was just finished

:jester:

[Elfdaughter]

wow!!! Thanks!! That's brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ridnarhti_M]

Elfdaughter thanks for the very kid words... i will translate them into: Good song, ridnarhti_M, okies?... Maybe i wrote better ones... in fact the melody came from a song i wrote back in 1974 and adapted for the purpose. I needed to change the verse as my own song (about a medieval courtjester) had a verse of 8 lines.
Maybe one day i will find the courage (and knowledge of the English language) and time to translate that one.

:jester:

[Mánalinya]

Wow, how beautiful! It was so sad. It really sounded like something an Elf would sing.

[ridnarhti_M]

:jester:
Well Manalinya.. tho I am a Fool and a Jester, even I could not find a happy melody to go with the words catz wrote.
Ahh and BTW thanks for the praise... if an Ent like me (disguised as an Istar) can be an Elf, I am an Elf too... at least my music always has the wistfulness and melancholy of Elves. :)

[Catz]

ive written a few lately........in my usual depressing style ;)

Butterfly Collector
love flutters………a silken butterfly
a jewel………….alight with life
caught in your net
your hands so tender
as you cover it
with the killing jar
intent only on keeping it
do you realise
That it’s screaming ?
breaking its wings against the impervious walls
pounding itself against the unyielding barrier
over and over again
trying to reach you
for your decision, your choice
Its dying
lying stiff and cold
colours fading, body beaten
taken and pinned
with loving fingers, that softly arrange those wings
into a velvet shroud
for a memory
a shadowy ghost of the living gem
that once was yours
while you pursue another butterfly

Nitemare
this is a dream I know
or perhaps nitemare is closer
these halls are dark and cold
the passages thru my life
thru my heart
shadows dancing in the spaces
their mocking laughter follows me
as I take the ordained path
knowing in my heart what I will find
but having to play my part in the masque
feeling myself break as I see the figure
stretched cold and pale
a marble effigy of you
my fingers touching the icy cheek
freezing me to the marrow,
my tears turning to ice on my cheeks,
as I trace that beloved face
now cold and remote
no longer turned to me
wishing my heart was stone too
as I mourn

:catz:

[Eledhwen]

Catz they are so powerful. "Butterfly Collector" gripped me - I don't know how else to say it... It's so beautifully written - heartbreaking. Thank you so much for posting these.

[Lady Luthien]

I loved the first poem...it was bitter-sweet, and written with great style and beautiful imagery!! I loved the last one too! :thumbs: You truly have an astounding talent for writing, Catz ;)

[Catz]

this was written in very dark times.......so yes it IS very dark.....and i dont for a moment condone giving in to Lady Loneliness, but i also know from experience that it can be hard not to sometimes

who are you?
You ask…..you with the tear reddened eyes
You who wrap yourself around me
Feeling the chill of my hands on your body
The poison of my kiss
Seeping deep within you
Learning slowly to welcome the coldness that I bring
Your heart as hard and grey as stone in my arctic embrace
Turning your eyes to ice, and armouring you with indifference
Who am I?
I am the sound of a train whistle in the depths of an endless nite
When youre lost and so far from home
I'm the anguished howl of a dog, crying its loss to the dark sky
I am the memory of that loved face……..forever lost
I'm the chill wind that blows from the future, bleak and cold
I was there when you first separated from your mother
And I will be there when you part this world
I am singular
I am deaths dark lover
I am the sister of Despair
I am Loneliness
And you……….?
you who sob for loves lost......?
You are mine

:catz:

[Vanyë]

i like your poems Catz. write some more soon.

[Catz]

thank you Vanye.....i dont know if id say i like my stuff exactly......more that im compelled to write it..........and it is cathartic

Grey
So here I am again
Standing on the borders of the grey lands
Paying my toll of tears
Begging for admission to where there is no pain
To a place where my heart
Broken and bleeding
Can be covered in the balm brought by nothingness
soft as swansdown and as cold as snow
Wishing with all my soul to be one of the grey people
No passions
No fire
No pain
Crying until I have cried all the colours out
Until I too am a shadow
And can pass quietly into the dimness
numbed

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

Great additions, Catz. I especially like "I am deaths dark lover
I am the sister of Despair", and "Crying until I have cried all the colours out, Until I too am a shadow, And can pass quietly into the dimness" :grin:

[Eledhwen]

Catz, I hope you post more. They are incredible and haunting. "Where are you?" blew over me like a cold wind indeed. I think I'm addicted to your writing... (and I'm really glad it's cathartic for you)

[Catz]

Almost
when I look at you
thru tears
I can almost imagine that youre smiling
Like you used to
I can almost hear your voice
Laughing as you teased me
About coffee, about anything
Just to make me smile too
I can almost feel that kiss
The one that you told me was mine
Mine alone
when i look at you
thru tears
I can almost imagine that you’ve turned back to me
.....almost

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

oooh...I love this poem...there is something so powerful and forlorn about borderline feelings...

[Catz]

thank you LL

Colours
behind me there are colours
the silver gleam of a love
that was mine for a time
the flame shadings of passion
and the blood crimson of fury
the golden shimmer of precious moments
and the deepest sable despair
the clear colour of a summer sky
and the memory of warmth
even the muted blue of acceptance
all swirling to formless grey ahead of me
like pigments smeared on an artists palette
there is no hand to reach out and touch mine
no arms to ease the cold
no gentle voice to make me smile
and to ease the passage of the years
no heart to cherish mine
adrift and alone in nothing

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

umm....wow *snaps out of her trance* that was amazing! Such vivid and surreal descriptions...I love it! :thumbs: Especially the transistion from the abstract description of mixed feelings to the last lines, more specific with an unexpected twist. ooh...it's great :grin:

[Catz]

Promises
They make no sound when theyre broken, promises
They simply fall from the loom
With a silken whisper of lies
And half truths
A tangle of vibrant coloured threads
A warp and weft, inextricably knotted together
With no beginning or end
Just ruined possibilities
All the colours wrapped around each other
In a gordanian knot that only the sharp slice
Of truth can part
The colours running as the tears fall

tired
So tired
They tell me to get up and out
The sun is shining outside
And I can hear the cicadas singing
The sky is bright and blue
Why then is it all grey?
Why am I not warm?
Why do I feel so numb?
Why do I have this icey cold space inside?
Shaped like you?
Leave me curled up in the cold
hoping never to wake
Let the ice take me
So ill never feel again


Theres a single pale flame burning
In a room hidden deep in my heart
In the still air, the taste of yearning
Ever since you decided wed part

It burns all alone in the darkness
a tiny flame that trembles and sighs
A shrine to lost love and sadness
A spark that will never die

Yet I remember that once it was different
Once it burned strongly and bright
But the icy cold touch of your indifference
Has drained it of much of its light

But that tiny pale flame still lingers
Not dying , tho I wish that it might
Still flickering as I cup it in my fingers
As I comfort it as best that I might

Real loves don’t ever die
They linger thru cold and in doubt
Tiny flames that flicker as you sigh
But the candle will never go out


:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

Well, Catz.... i have been away for a while but something told me to check Poets Corner for a change.... and what do I find?...
A number of poems you wrote (or submitted to this forum) recently... filled with images that pierce ones heart... and...

once more one among them makes the notes ring thru my mind... so I will simply HAVE TO make time and go write a melody to go with :
There's a single pale flame burning.

There is no more I can say but I hope it will become as dear to me as the one I wrote a melody with earlier and that you will approve of the way i will try and make it emphasize the emotion it came from.

:jester:

[Vanyë]

Those are so goood i like Tired, it describes what i feel so well.

[Lady Luthien]

great additions, Catz...I especially love the one about promises :thumbs: "they make no sound when they are broken" :grin:

[Catz]

How do I let go?
How do I let you go
When you were my life?
When my heart beat was twinned to yours?
When I gave you all that I had?
How do I just let go?
Please tell me that……..
When the price of your happiness
Is the death of my heart?
How do I let go?
When the thought of life without you
Makes me cry
What do I do?
And when your arms were my refuge
And mine yours
Where do I go?
Please tell me………

Letting go
I know I have to do this
But I cant
My hands are frozen and inside me is a lump of ice
I have to let you go
You who has been my life and treasure for so long
You who were my only happiness
My light and laughter
My love
My all
To be happy you say you need to be apart from me
And to give you that I will do this thing you ask of me
But its hard……so hard
As I bring down the knife
Cutting you out of my heart
I scream………
Each stroke of the blade is liquid fire
Acid regrets burning my flesh
But the spaces hurt far worse
The empty places that were once so full
All gone in a blur of pain and sorrow
And now its done
And I'm on the floor, bleeding and alone

:catz:

[Catz]

Goodbye
Just two little words
That mean the end of the world
Two words that can bring a life crashing down
And a strong person to their knees
The same two words you just said to me
That shattered my soul
And left me bewildered and lost
You were my centre
My anchor
And now I drift alone
While you sail away
Your last words
Goodbye

:catz:

[Catz]

Smoke
Watching the smoke curling up
Silvery grey whisps into the summer sky
My eyes dazzled by its brightness
Losing that tiny thread of grey thru the sunlight
All your words
So sweet and tender
That I thought came from your heart
Just as surely as they entered mine
Now no more than smoke in reality
As they always were, I guess
Curling into black ashes
Like my soul did when you walked away
Feeding the rose that you sent me
Into the flames
Turning my face away as the hungry fire takes it
Unable to watch
As I burn your words
I burn a part of myself
It hurts, tears flowing down my face
And I cradle myself, for theres no one else to do it
There is no comfort
rocking myself gently
mourning as a part of me dies

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

I love these poems, Catz, especially "How Do I Let Go?" "When the price of your happiness Is the death of my heart?"--great metaphor. But may I offer one tiny piece of advice? In your last poem, near the end, you said "it hurts". I don't think you need to say that...it's too broad and undescriptive a phrase when the reader can already tell that you hurt from the rest of the poem. It's usually better to show in poems that to just come out and say. Of course, I didn't write the poem, and there could be some reason you wanted it in there...just a suggestion, though ;) great poems, all of them :thumbs:

[Catz]

actually thats why its there
because sometimes when alls said and done thats the only thing that matters...........that and that thats the voice of a child..........all they know is that they hurt.........they dont know why, and they dont care........they just hurt..........and that is the child that cries in every one of us when our trust is betrayed......its very clumsiness is a metaphor......sometimes all we can do is curl up into a ball and say "it hurts"
but thanks for that

[Lady Luthien]

that's true...now that you say that I understand ;)

[Catz]

Parting
and so we have come,
my dearest friend
to a parting of the ways
your face is turned away from me
beg you tho I will to stay

your hand will no longer be in mine
chill and cold is my way
dark and long the road ahead
ill no longer hear your beloved voice
I must take the lone path instead

You’ve turned to travel other roads
Paths I cannot follow
My eyes are blinded with bitter tears
For I love you still with all my heart
I ache to have you near

But to love someone who does not love you
Is fair on no ones heart
So I know I have to release you
To turn to face my lonely road
The hardest of things to do

So I'll walk into the dark by myself
Tho you promised to always be there
The coldness seeps into my bones
Ill miss your hand in mine so much
But this narrow path is my own

i must watch you walk away from me
My vision blurred thru tears
But wishing you well even so
Then fighting to move, keep my head held high
I walk away alone

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

so sad :( But well written :thumbs: Btw...Is this from real life?

[Catz]

all my poetry is from my life........you cant write what you dont know....or rather , you cant write feelings you dont know and havent experienced.........not convincingly anyway
sides, like ive said before, writing is my therapy........thats why it tends to be so dark
its a way to get the feelings out without doing damage
:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

Yes, a lot of times when I'm angry or sad, I like to write a poem and it calms me down. I wasn't saying I didn't think it was true, I was just wondering whether you used your "poetic liscence" or not...;) In other words...if it was based on a real life experience but you made it more dramatic, like I sometimes tend to do because the things that happen to me aren't always that interesting lol

[Catz]

i wasnt suggesting that you were LL
but yes.........all my poems are about feelings that ive had at various times
i guess ive just had a lot of acquaintance with the less pleasant side of love..........i know how fragile it can be and i know how easy it is to destroy, cos ive been there.
thats why i have the greatest respect for those who can keep going..........keep looking for that relationship that will fulfill them...........i dunno, ive not seen it, except in glances that have always turned out to just be another heartbreak.
so im glad that i CAN write..........if i couldnt, i dont know what id do ;)

Endings
You turn away
Your lips that once smiled gently
Now don’t move
Even when your words smile
Your eyes no longer meet mine
And when I touch you,
Just for a second
Your flesh shrinks from my hands
And yet you wont say it
You wont let me go
Why wont you just release me?
Why must I be placed on this rack?
Just so that you can pretend youre not hurting me?
When every look
That used to be full of love
Is now cold and dispassionate
No caring behind your eyes
Flaying me
Every word,
Once a tender caress
Is now a dismissive response
Just to shut me up
Why do you lie?
To yourself
To me

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

ooh...very powerful. I like how you compare his once loving and caring state to his now cold and indifferent one...it shows that it hurts more than if it had always been hard with him. Great poem :thumbs:

and yes, I agree...if I could not write I would end up in an insane asylum probably because I would have no way to use my sadness or anger in a constructive manner :p

[Catz]

thank you LL i appreciate it

Rainbow
I once sent you a rainbow
Perhaps I should have kept it for myself
I think perhaps I need hope more than you
For you seem set on your course
Even tho it hurts me
You’ve taken my anchor
And left me to drift alone
I need a rainbow I think
You’ve left on your path
So sure youre right
Leaving me behind
But I'm not sure of anything anymore
And I need more than anything
A rainbow

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

no problem, Catz...I love reading your poems ;)

awwww, so bitter-sweet!!

[Eledhwen]

Just catching up with you Catz... I love these. It's so true about getting darkness out in a way that doesn't hurt anyone. All of the darkest times in my life, I've been saved by the urge to write. I think I would have been insane by now had I not had that. Maybe this speaks to us...

When life kicks you in the face
and you fall into disgrace
Pick up the pen, let flow the ink
and fill the emptiness of your space

I love "Smoke" and "Rainbow" - beautiful. And "Parting" made me think of Eowyn - how she must have felt when she realized that Aragorn didn't love her... It's painful and breathtaking all at once.

[Catz]

thanks......love that quote Eledhwen......so true
this first one is a bit older......its kind of a mixture of several situations that ive found myself in over the last few years

Reaching out
Travelling back over the same old path
Id have learned by now youd have thought
Why can I never look into the dark
And see the pain that I court

Why cant you ever see thru my eyes
And see me fall apart
See how your light hearted flirts
Cut me deep……to the heart

You say youre always there, and my hand reaches out
Grasping nothing but emptiness, and the acid burn of doubt

I cant blame you for the choice you made
It was always on the cards
And I never wanted to own or bind you
But being friends is just as hard

Left so many times alone in the dark
Do you wonder at my fear?
That I'm afraid youre walking away
Whenever youre not near

You say youre always there, and my hand reaches out
Knowing its my own fears that create that doubt

I love you with a fire that I just cant contain
And fire can burn your hands
But I cant bear to be away from you
To be apart is more than I can stand

So I stay close to you, tho youre not mine
Happy to have this least part
Ill be your friend, be there for you
And ill hold you safe in my heart

You say youre always there and my hand reaches out
Knowing that in my dreams at least, there is no room for doubt

Burial
When love dies for one
Is it better to just bury it quickly?
A fast and seemly disposal
Without the messiness of a scene
Reducing it to a neat white marker
and a pile of crushed lillies
In the graveyard of your soul...
Or should you fight on
Even when there is no chance of change?
You love because you love
Not because you are loved
So should you love on even when there is no hope
Do you even have a choice?

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

Great poems, and I can relate especially to the first one ;) And from the last one I like:
"Reducing it to a neat white marker
and a pile of crushed lillies
In the graveyard of your soul" brilliant!

[Catz]

this was prompted by something this particular friend said to me last nite when i kept him up way past his bedtime ;) sorry hon:blush: , about a cosmic joke(i hope it never comes to that tho)
its also cos i dont think i say often enough how much i appreciate him being there for me, even in the midst of a busy life.........i know im lucky to have a friend like that
so for you hon.......you know who you are ;)

Friends
Your hand reaches out when I stumble
When I rant you give me your ear
your voice soothes my rages
Your soul shines bright and clear
I don’t say this nearly enough I fear
But please know that its always in mind
That id be lost if you weren’t here
And the world would be much the poorer place
Without your heart, without your face
Always so gentle and kind
Your eyes that see a better me
That I strive to, that I want to be
You don’t take any bull
And I love you for that too
Youre my friend, and no matter what I do
Just know that ill always be here for you
And if your world should fall apart
If it should all go to hell in the end
Then know theres a place here in my heart
Ill stand with you my friend

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

mecry...that brought tears to my eyes, but in a good way ;) :thumbs:...I sort of wonder what I'll do when all of my friends and I go off to different colleges....:(
*is inspired to write a poem* :grin:

[Catz]

The Question
Why is it that I can still love you
And hate you at the same time?
Why is it that I ache to see you?
Yet flinch from the pain of that sight
Why is it that your voice,
That used to make me feel so safe?
Now just makes me cry
Why do I never want to see you again
Yet cant help but look whenever youre around
No matter how much it hurts
Why is it that when I look inside myself
To that place where you used to be
All I can hear is
Why?

[Catz]

so afraid
of the dark
of the light
of being alone to the end
of running out of time
the clock ticking away my days
the hours, the days, the years
wanting there to be a hand there
when i reach out
and knowing that there isnt
and it seems, never will be,
is hard to accept
and im just not strong enough
to look over the edge alone anymore
into the void
i cant expose my battered and bleeding heart
to the razor edged beauty of love yet again
and tho i fear ending my years alone
i fear being broken by my trust as much
so i just sit
shivering in the cold
listening to the years tick by
my life being measured away
afraid to move

:catz:

[Catz]

theres a locked room
the door is heavy and scarred
the window festooned with cobwebs
and the floor covered in dust
i do not go there
but i know whats inside
here a broken mirror
dimly reflecting a pale glimmer
there a book of photos
all the pages torn and marked
the pictures marred by the stains of tears
on the floor, the scattered petals of a rose
now dead and dried
so that it would crush underfoot
if a foot ever walked there
memories, broken promises
lost love and betrayals
hanks of silken threads
their colours all running together
i do not want to look
too many years for no more than a handful of dust
leave that part of me locked away
ive thrown away the key

:catz:

[Catz]

Shadow
when did i become invisible i wonder?
i used to be seen im sure
im certain people used to see me
but now they dont
so i slip thru thier lives
just a shadow
never really there
nothing but a stray thought
or a fragment of dream
dont you see me?
im still here
but my voice sounds thin
even to my ears
so i fall silent

:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

Though from a distant place and time
and though the words dont rhyme
I hear you.. your voice still touches my heart
I see you... though you're just an image from afar
Though my eyes may be blind
they still do remind
Though my ears never actually heard
from you one single spoken word
I will call you MY FRIEND
till times will end

:jester:

[Eledhwen]

Oh Catz, you make my heart ache - with your beautiful and exquisite phrases ... i cant expose my battered and bleeding heart
to the razor edged beauty of love yet again **sigh**

I slipped something in my *bag* for you. At least - it made me think of you. Hope you like it.

[Catz]

thank you Ele............praise from someone as talented as you is praise indeed.........and i looked and loved it.............its beautiful
and thank you too ridn
thats lovely

The Gentleness of Despair
She sings...“hush now child
you who sob so brokenly
your eyes red and swollen
whose heart and soul is reviled

you whose fingers grope
to find some anchor in the dark
whose soul is broken, bewildered
who has lost the spark of hope

listen to me sing so soft
let my voice soothe your fears
remember how this was?
Before everything was lost

Let me cover you in nothing
Let the silence balm your wounds
Ill keep you safe from harm
Tho it means I must clip your wings

Youll never taste the heat of the sun
to be like Icaurus and fly
But youll never fall and break youself
Your heart will never be undone

So stay here with me my little one
Stay safe and away from danger
Here in the soothing darkness
Away from the burning sun”

So runs Despairs siren song
Every day I hear her whisper
And god help me I'm starting to wonder
Whether she really is wrong

:catz:

[Vanyë]

i love all your poems Catz, and you remind me of a lovely woman who befriended me at school. i miss her. so much

[Catz]

thank you Vanye...........its hard to lose special people i know
this is from about a year ago......something that happened recently brought it to mind

I'm sorry
Sorry that I'm not a bright and breezy soul
That can flit from flower to flower
Light and fluttery
I'm sorry that my feelings make you feel
I'm sorry that I hurt so easily
I wish I didn’t
I'm sorry that I'm not the person you wanted
I'm sorry that I don’t know how to BE that person
And I'm sorry I'm not whole
I'm sorry that your actions affect me
And worse, that I tell you this
I'm sorry that I feel that you should know
I'm sorry that I'm such an impostition on your life
I never wanted to be
I'm sorry that theres a part of me
That’s broken………and I don’t know how to fix it
I'm sorry for leaning too hard
Giving too much
Saying too much
Caring too much
For all of this and more

:catz:

[Catz]

Twisted smile
Sometimes I smile
When I look at myself
So full of tragicomedy
I have to laugh
So caught in the pain
That I don’t see the pratfalls
But take a step back
And I have to laugh
at this clown that is me
Coyote toys with me
Loki the trickster lays traps
For my fumbling feet
And I fall for them
every time
the perfect fall guy
the straight man in some huge cosmic standup
But see the Coyotes tongue Lolling
In wide grinning jaws
Wanting me to join in the great joke
See the twist in the smile on the jokers face
That says “youre not alone
We're all fools in this life
Laugh with us child”
So I smile……..maybe sadly
Maybe thru tears
maybe with an edge of the manic
a touch of the sacred insanity
At this crazy joke we call life

:catz:

[Vanyë]

fabulous i absolutely love the I Sorry one and also the twisted smile. :)

[Lady Luthien]

I really love "Twisted smile"...great word choice and imagery there :thumbs:

[Catz]

Questions
What do you do
when you’ve come out the other side?
When the tempest has passed
and the emotional winds no longer howl
When youre no longer blinded by the rain of tears
When youre numb?
Becalmed on a featureless ocean
In a place you’ve never seen
with no landmarks to guide you home
no star to show you the way
When you can no longer feel your heart
and youre afraid you never will again
when you no longer feel you want to die
because you don’t feel anything at all
when you find yourself laughing and joking
without the smiles ever penetrating the skin
when the pain has retreated a little
a dull stone in your belly
that’s always there
when youre nothing
please tell me….
what do you do then?

:catz:

[Beleg Strongbow]

I usually reach for the whiskey...


Sorry hon, but it lifts the spirit.

[Catz]

lol twit *gently hits him with a pillow*
and if youre drinking it, isnt it YOU thats lifting the spirits? ;)
ok another one.this ISNT that depressing btw ;) lol
in fact its hopeful..........a thank you of sorts

Moonstone Eyes
she was beaten down when she met him
her manner light, but just to hide
a spirit battered beyond bearing
you could see it in her eyes

discarded, alone, and trying her best
to make some sense of it all
he came alone and unforeseen
and tenderly destroyed her walls

his voice was gentle and kind
soothing all her sighs
and she could see a kindred heart
in his moonstone eyes

and for a while he was her refuge
and a place to rest from fears
with tender touches in the darkness
soft lovers whispers in her ears

and tho that couldnt last
she knew the reasons why
and carried with her when it was done
herself in moonstone eyes

and that memory lifts her up
when she feels smothered in the lies
and she hopes he knows she loves him
true friend with moonstone eyes

:catz:

[Beleg Strongbow]

Gee...he sounds like a fruit...





It's beautiful...

[Catz]

thanks sweety :smooch: that means a lot ;)
and did you know that in south america a gorgeous man is called a mango?
just thought id follow up the fruit connection ;) lol
:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

Great poems, Catz...I especially liked the last one, with it's title and its repetetion of "moonstone eyes"-very effective ;) :thumbs:

[Catz]

thanks LL............heheh nice to see that sometimes an ending isnt really an ending but just the start of something different isnt it
and yes i like that one too....ive always been a sucker for beautiful eyes ;)
:catz:

[Beleg Strongbow]

I could go 'aawww'...but that's just tooooo soppy!!

[Catz]

agreed...............and then id be forced to tickle you to death ;) lol............not that youd EVER be soppy Beleg ;)...............heaven forbid!!!!:rolleyes: lol
:catz:

[Catz]

Steel screams when its tempered
Every atom of itself struggleing
Resisting the change
Forced upon it from outside
The pounding of the hammer
Shaping its destiny
The fierce passion of the forge
Glowing cherry red
Quenched in coldness and dark
Is a sword ever asked if it would rather
Be a ploughshare?
I am a sword.
My back supple and strong
My edges tempered with pain
Sharp and dangerous in the wrong hands
But beautiful in the right ones
But still able to be broken
Handle me with care

:catz:

[Catz]

ok so i seem to be on the theme of blades right now ;)

Love…………a blade
Crafted with care
Beautiful, with an edge that could part the wind
A form so perfect
The patterns in the steel
Moire of light and shadow
But a blade cuts
It drinks pain like wine
And yet I embrace it
Taking it to my naked breast
Knowing that it will hurt
But knowing also that this is its purpose
The testing
Can I be strong enough?
AM I strong enough?
Are you?

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

ooh...I love these last two poems...I like the personification of the sword(its feelings..."drinking pain")...very interesting and effective. I especially like "with an edge that could part the wind" :grin:

[Catz]

loneliness is steel
so cold and hard
reflective
holding everything in
showing not a crack
seamless and sterile
but I'm inside here
I'm calling to you
But you don’t hear me
And I cant break out
I built this armour
To protect a heart
So bruised, so torn
And now I'm trapped
Within, looking out

:catz:

[Catz]

I found a poem today
One of yours
How can a tiny snatch of words
Break me so easily?
I thought I was over you
At least, past the pain
But they slipped thru my defences
past anger and frustration
Straight to my heart
a stilleto blade
thrust so surely
paper can cut deeper than steel
And I remembered what it was
To be loved
To be cherished
And the tears started
lost all over again
bleeding again
How can one person bear
To feel so unutterably bereft

:catz:

[Vanyë]

we forget the pain, once in a while.

great poem Catz

[Lady Luthien]

Love the last one...especially the line "paper can cut deeper than steel" :grin:

[Catz]

thanks LL
this one was brought to mind today.......ive always had a thing about voices.......they touch me very deeply, especially the voices of those who are dear to me and i love the way that they can touch our emotions.

Your Voice
What magic is held in a voice?
Be it soft or strong
Sweet or rough
What draws the essence of a loved one close?
so close you can feel their breath
delicately brushing your skin
What is it that tenderly touches my soul
With a stroke of velvet
sending shivers down my spine
When I hear you?
Smooth and strong as liquor
And just as intoxicating
Id be gloriously drunk
On your voice

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

oooh...I like that one! Such eloquent descriptions, and I love the last two lines :thumbs:
Voices can do me in too...;)

[Catz]

Dreaming
I wonder
are you sleeping?
head upon your pillow
deeply dreaming

do you know im thinking of you
i think you might
i see a curve on your lips
as you smile into the nite

there is another head laid next to yours
another body nestled there too
but can you feel me from the void
my soul reaching out to you

sailing on the moonglow
following the ethreal silvery path
soft as silk and stronger than steel
that leads me to your heart

guarding you while your mind
soars in dark nite flights
bound to you by moonlight chains
bonds forged by love grip tight

so ill watch you in my dreams
tho im not there with you now
a part of me is always there
a tie i cannot sever, i know

and maybe in between
dreams amd waking, somewhere
theres a space where you and i
can be together and share

all the things in our hearts
open up our souls and see
out amongst the stars
dreaming minds set free

:catz:

[Catz]

Fear
Hello old friend
You whove been with me
thru so many nites
who has been there thru every crisis
Fear,
you who are my nemesis
but also my companion
my constant shadow
is it strange to say that,
I've grown used to you?
that your familiarity is reassuring
even as your icey touch churns my belly
That tho weve spent long periods apart
That I've always known you would be back
That you and I are joined
And that you have been more faithful
Than love, or hate,
Or even your brother, pain
I embrace you to me
My shadow
Because in the end
There is only you and I
Together in the dark

:catz:

[Catz]

ok i found this the other day
it was actually written as part of a little ceremony that a friend wanted
there is actually a final verse, but ive left that off as many people get overly emotive about Wiccanism, and this invoked the Wiccan rede.........always a good little proviso to add to any charm ;)
lol i dunno about its effect tho..........shes living overseas, and i havent heard from her in a while ;)
but i like the way the words flowed on this one, so here it is

Oh my love
whom I've not yet seen
but for whom my heart is full
come to me
let your voice fill the parched places
in my soul
like sweet rain on the earth
come to me
let your touch be as gentle
as light as that of the clouds
caressing the mountains
come to me
let your eyes see deeper
than the surface of the river
keen as a kestrels
come to me
may your heart beat true
feeling the pulse of the world
and never betray my trust
come to me
may you be strong
a great forest tree
that bends but will not break
come to me
may you cherish my heart
as the gift that it is
and hold it to yours so gently
come to me

:catz:

[ridnarhti_M]

Hi catz,

i guess i need not tell you your poetry touches ones heart.
the way you make one share your emotions is unique.

pity you left out the last part of the poem just before this post.
isnt it about time Xtians accept there are different ways of life, like non Xtians have to accept too?

please, if you dont intend to add the words you left out here, would you be so kind as to either PM or Email them to me personally, because i really would like to read the poem as it was INTENDED to be.

:jester:

[Catz]

well the final stanza is just a reiteration of the "do no harm" law

as it harm none
this charm is done
so mote it be

thats it im afraid
:catz:

[Catz]

this one isnt nice....in fact its downright nasty, but you have to get the feelings out somehow and i was very angry when i wrote it, and something thats happened just brought it to mind


how quickly can love turn to hate?
as long as it took you to tell me that i was right all along
that youd discarded me for another poor fool
you tell me youll pray for me
but im not the one who needs prayers
i HAVE a heart, broken tho it is
my soul is innocent of your sins
of using others until they are sucked dry
and then discarding their broken corpses
of lies, denying me as surely as peter denying his lord
but now the **** has crowed its 3rd call
and youre here to kiss my cheek
with poisoned lips
handing me over to torture and death of the soul
with a smile on your lips
i will never understand a heart so hard
made of black ice
a toxic stain on the world
you threw away my love without a thought
but one day i know youll end
frozen by your own coldness
and aching for the warmth of love
know that in that moment, i will laugh
because it wont be there,
and youll shiver alone and afraid
hate isnt hot
its cold
as cold as the frozen spaces between the stars
and as infinite

:catz:

[Vanyë]

gee not that angry!!

but it was a good one nonetheless. glad you were able to get the feelings out. ;)

[Celeir of Lorien]

Catz:

I'm new to the forum so I am just now finding this thread and your incredible poetry.

I was just stunned by the first poem "A Lament for Lorien." Powerful beyond any words I can find. Your ability to paint word pictures and infuse them with such emotion is extraordinary. Although I am sure you didn't so intend, I found myself "giving" this poem to Haldir, Guardian of the Golden Wood.

Thank you for sharing your heart and soul. I look forward to many more treasures.

[Tirithel]

Just found this a few pages back:

Oh my love is far away from me
Parted by the restless waves
Many miles of empty bitter sea
My hearts tears taken to the grave

Oh seagull fly to my lovers side
Trace the wild winds to his heart
And tell him that his love abides
Here as I have from the start

Oh wind that blows the oceans spray
Take these words to my loves ears
I shall love him this and every day
And for him alone fall my tears

Oh hear the storm winds cry and moan
My love do you hear me?
Do you see my face in wind swept foam?
Oh my love do you see?

and may I say that it's really strikin' a chord with me at the moment. Past the words, it's hitting straight home. Kitty-foo you're gonna make me cry! mecry ANd this:

Shadow
when did i become invisible i wonder?
i used to be seen im sure
im certain people used to see me
but now they dont
so i slip thru thier lives
just a shadow
never really there
nothing but a stray thought
or a fragment of dream
dont you see me?
im still here
but my voice sounds thin
even to my ears
so i fall silent

Potent poetry, ma'am. :thumbs:

[Catz]

they make me cry too Tiri, but then i guess they would
im glad theyve struck a chord, sorry if they make you sad tho ;)and thank you for your kind words Celeir, i appreciate them
:catz:

[Catz]

The Chest
so ill fold up my love for you
and put it away in the chest
with all the other things
broken dreams and shattered promises
scattered like the pearls from a broken necklace
among the folds of old loves and lost chances
failed dreams, of faded silk
that once were so dazzleing
and the worn petals
of summers long gone
ill fold our love up carefully
and lay it down
smoothing the folds so tenderly
and ill close the lid
and walk away

:catz:

[Catz]

Its quiet in the house at nite
I feel like the only person in the world that’s awake
Maybe I am
Maybe I'm all that’s left
Not much to show for it am I?
Everyone else busy with their lives
Or enjoying the balm of sleep
Not me
I smashed your tapes
I threw all my hate and anger into them
And threw the pieces into a box
Trembling with rage
And blinded by tears
You can have them back
All the lies, all the BS
All the “I love you so much”s
all the forevers that meant nothing
All your letters too
So full of seductive, beautiful lies
All of it………..take it back
Leave me to the dark quiet house
So I can cry in peace
Not for you, but for me
These tears are for me alone
For lost trust
For fears revisited
For making me the frightened person
That I never wanted to be
Cowering in the dark

:catz:

[Catz]

Left again
With my thoughts
and my words
Theyre all I have
And theyre not enough
I gave you them all
All the ones that I had
And you took them, smiling
But they didn’t keep you
And you walked away
So now I sit here
Letting the words pour from me
But theyre not enough
Tho theyre all I have
If I could id paint a picture
But the colours would all run
Turning to grey on the canvas
To mirror my soul
I I could id sing out my sorrows
But when my throat is thick
With unshed tears
my voice wont come,
only a whisper
if you come close
you can hear my words
….theyre not enough
tho theyre all I have

:catz:

[Lady Luthien]

wow! I love that one! I like how you repeat "they're all I have"...ooh I just love it :grin: especially the part about the canvas and the paint turning to grey, and singing out your pain... very clever :thumbs:

[Tirithel]

If I may, I have this thing against using the word "pain" in a poem, because the point of poetry is to show "pain" without saying it...

I I could id sing out my pain

would it be cooler to say "sing out grey" or something, in reference to the previous lines of the poem?

But when my throat is thick
With the pain of unshed tears

This is fabulous...I totally know that feeling of when you're about to cry and you can't talk cuz you're all choked up :thumbs: Why not, (again) leave out the 'pain' part, because I think the line illustrates that without saying it. "Thick with unshed tears" is powerful on its own.

Just an idea...can't let you get through this thread w/o a little criticism, ;)

[Catz]

lol youre right actually, now that i look at it.......ill edit later.........dont have time now......gotta go to work blech
thanks for the input Tiri
at work now ;)...............perfect time to do a little editing
not that i would avoid the use of the workd "pain" as a matter of course....there are times when i would use it, but i have to say that in this case it IS a weak word
:catz:

[Catz]

looking up thru my tears
into the light of the sun
i can see rainbows
dazzling,
turning the drops of distilled pain
caught in my lashes
into tiny diamonds
and perhaps,
one day,
ill reach for them
and capture the colours
hidden in the sorrow
but for now,
the light hurts my eyes
so i close them again
but i savour the warmth on my face
please dont be angry with me
for not seeing the light
for turning away
but ive been in the dark for so long
that the light hurts me too
give me time to remember
what it was like to walk in the sun

:catz:

[Catz]

For the Forgotten
These are words for the forgotten people
Those who knew love and lost it
And never tasted it again
The ones with faded memories
Who never got their happy ending
Who can only run their fingers over
Dreams that never came true
Mourn children that never were
Chances that never came
Loves that never appeared
Passions forever leashed
For whom the fairytale never was
For the girl with glasses
Who wasn’t hollywood pretty with contacts
For the geek with the heart of gold
That no one ever saw
For that good hearted soul
“what was her name? “
that everyone knew and no one ever saw
for all the also rans, who tried hard too
some breaking in the effort
you mattered too
tho no one will ever know
the joys and beauties of your soul
you matter too

:catz:

[Catz]

So here I sit
Hunting words
As cat like as my namesake
Lying in wait
For that perfect phrase
So I can snag it with my paws
Pounce like cat on mouse
With the tip of my tail twitching
My whiskers quivering
Waiting, waiting
And sometimes the words are elusive
Sometimes theyre wily prey
Hiding in a fog
Amorphous and diffuse ideas
So then I curl up
Sleeping quietly
With one ear pricked
And moonlight eyes slitted
To catch them
Sooner or later

:catz:

[Vanyë]

i like that last one Catz, it suits you...and a writers restlessness.

[Evenstar]

wow that was good, it reminds me of my own cat! it was quite fast and pacy as well like cats are! :grin::thumbs:

[Catz]

ive always had a soft spot for wolves as avatars..........and talking to wolfie reminded me that i havent revisited that idea in a while...............and i had a dream last nite that had wolves in it
so here we are.........heheh i guess this is yours Wolfie, since it was talking to you and looking at your wolf pic that set me off

Wolf Eyes
The song lifts on the cold air
A crystalline thread in the icey dark
Sending shivers down the spine
A sound to leave you forever marked

And after, there is silence
As tho to speak would break a spell
Cast by that voice of wildness
A vision, a taste, a smell

But then almost to stop from drowning
Words tumble from frozen throats
To stave off the huge emptiness
To banish conjured ghosts

they hurry away back to their world
as tho that silver voiced cry
has touched something deep within
that they fear, from which they hide

But pausing, straying slowly
And looking into the nite
Do I see a bushy tail flirting
A glimpse in the silver moonlight

Yellow eyes deep and molten
Meet mine above Lolling tongue
A creature so sure in its selfness
So pure, steals the breath from my lungs

Paws crunching the snow so lightly
A part of its world, without doubts
The wildness looks at me calmly
Breath fogging from out of his mouth

And then hes gone in an instant
A messenger, bearing a gift to me
In those eyes the oldest of truths
If you want to be happy, then BE

Walk your world like a pack member does
Move with sureness thru your life
Do the things that you need to, to survive
And don’t forget to sing to the nite

Respect those who deserve it
Demand it back of your brothers
Do what makes you feel whole
And damn the censure of others

All of that in one long look
into amber eyes that glow
Out from the darkness of mankinds past
Telling me “Live inside the now”

:catz:

[Vanyë]

i love it

[Catz]

thank you Vanye....thats one of those "just put it down as you hear it" ones
by that i mean that its like it was dictated to me, like i just wrote it down ;)
:catz:

[Eledhwen]

It's wonderful Catz! I got goosebumps when reading it. The wolf is incredibly special to me too. I just love it.

[Catz]

thank you both of you............i appreciate your kind words

sometimes when i cry
its not FOR any reason
sometimes its just like a wave
sadness rearing above me
then crashing over
swamping me
and leaving me holding my breath
and desperately kicking off the bottom
trying to stay afloat
and then casting me up on the beach
leaving me gasping and exhausted
catching my breath
just in time to be swept
back out to sea

:catz:

[Vanyë]

i love that last one, it kind of explains how and why i start crying.
you have amazing talent Catz :)

[Catz]

thank you Vanye............its like that sometimes isnt it
:catz:

[Catz]

No matter where you go
in this life with all its rain
just know theres always someone
who smiles at the thought of your name

that somewhere in this vast world
theres one who thinks of you
and wishes only the best
and hopes your sorrows are few

who loves you and loves the knowledge
that you care in return
but who knows you have a life to live
and yet is still concerned

who knows your mind and understands
your moods and when youre down
for you’ve done the same many times
and smoothed the angry frowns

thank you for teaching me something
that I thought id lost for good
you proved that I can trust again
when I never thought I would

please know theres always a hand ready
to catch you should you fall
that being your friend is a gift
for which id give my all

and if you ever feel like
no one cares or understands
just know I'm always here
you just have to reach out your hand

:catz:

[Catz]

prompted by going thru some old things

Memories
How did the song go?
Misty water coloured memories
Mine of you aren’t like that
theyre like oils in their intensitiy

They shine jewel bright
When I reach to sift
Fingers thru the past
They shimmer, precious gifts

Looking back thru our time
My tears are softly falling
Tho I'm smiling thru them too
As I answer the pasts siren calling

Reliving moments so tender
That they make my heart ache
Held softly against your body
I feel myself begin to break

To never go back there
And see what once I had
That was the promise I made myself
It would only make me sad

And yes it does, the tears are here
It hurts down deep inside
But I'm also smiling love
The pain I can abide

To remember what it was
To be held with love and tenderness
To see that yes, we were good
It fills a little of the emptiness

To feel regret for the fights we had
If id known our time was so short
Id never has wasted it so wantonly
Each precious hour so dearly bought

But I'm glad that I have looked now
There was far more good than bad
To remember being held in your arms
Makes it worth feeling a little sad

You will always be special to me love
No matter whar may pass
Therell always be a place for you
Here in my heart

And one day I will hold you
And smiling thru my tears
Ill tell you what you mean to me
And well both allay our fears

And know that we are special
To each other at least
Even if were not together
Our hearts still share a beat

My memories are vivid
As clear as a summers day
I know ill always love you
Until the end of days

:catz:

[Eledhwen]

Ah, Catz. These are hauntingly beautiful. The nostalgia and that special kind of melancholy ... you've touched me and made me relive my own memories. Thanx for that. You're incredible.

[Lady Ashley]

Oooh, lovely work as always, Catz!

[Catz]

thanks Ash
wel feeling a bit down again today, hence

Doing the laundry
Picking up the clothes
Making sure I have all of the things
Separating the piles
Dark here,
Light there
Concentrating desperately on the task
So I don’t have to think
Wouldn’t it be great
If we could just wash our lives out?
Stuff them into the machine
And have them come out clean and fresh
Not soiled and tired
If long lonely days and nites could just be rinsed away
And tears and blood and dirt could just
Disappear
If my soul could be made sparkling white and fresh
Again
But I think Id just fade
Like a pair of old jeans

:catz:

[Tar-Vanimelde]

Ah, that's a perfect way of expressing it, I know just how you feel. :smooch: and you'd never end up faded, dearest kitty

#Vani

[Catz]

lol does that make this the catz's laundrey basket? ;) lol
sorry it just struck me...........im a little slow at the mo ;)
this is just a relection on argueing and fights............i dont know but i tend to think that to be able to fight, u