funniest movie quotes

[PhantomsLove]

okay i'll start off here is one from Elf

Buddy: Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco... Frannncisco... Franciscooo...

one from White Christmas:

Phil Davis: When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting, whatever it is you've got left.

[Stormcrow]

Sebastian: Shtop dat!

The Little Mermaid: Return to the Sea. lol

[Lady Nenya]

Buddy: Oh I didn't know you had elves down here! Did you have to take a reindeer to get here? lol

~ Elf

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Timon: The monkey's his uncle??

~Lion King

[Elrond]

Godfrey of Ibelin: I once fought two days with an arrow through my testicle.

~Kingdom of Heaven

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Lilly: I'm a girl who loves black, and I'm wearing pink.

~Princess Diaries 2

[Elfdaughter]

Vizzini: He didn't fall? Inconcievable!
Inigo: You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

The ultimate classic - The Princess Bride

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Tiger: They think I am a God!!!

~American Tale: Fivel Goes West

[Elfdaughter]

Miracle Max:Go away or I'll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max [looking at the giant]: You ARE the Brute Squad!

Inigo: That Vezzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss...fuss...Perhaps he like...to have a go at us?
Inigo: He's very very short on charm...
Fezzik: But I think he means no...harm.
Inigo: You're very good at rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes...some of the time.
Inigo: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we'll soon be dead!
Vezzini: No more rymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vezzini: ARRRGH!

TPB...again. And from heart....seen that too many times!!

[Lady Nenya]

Shrek: Hey! I'm nobodies messenger boy. I'm a delivery boy. lol

~Shrek

[Elfdaughter]

lol! Nice one, LN!

Schmendrick: Be rary of wousing a rizard's wrath - rousing a rizard's - Be wary of making a magician angry!

~The Last Unicorn

[Iradil]

will smith: welcome to earth.

independance day thats a class film

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

Ray: This is your space, okay??
Rachel: That's not how it works dad.

~War of the Worlds

[Tari Silmarwen]

Peter: The Beaver said he's the faun's friend.
Susan: He's a Beaver! He shouldn't be saying anything!

~Chroncicles of Narnia: LWW

[Elfdaughter]

lol - ok, I have to give them that, that's a good line.

Not from a movie as such....

RIMMER: Lister, last time I only failed by the *narrowest* of narrow margins.
LISTER: You what? You walked in there, wrote, "I am a fish," four hundred times, did a funny little dance, and fainted.
RIMMER: That's a total lie!
LISTER: No, it's not! Petersen told me.
RIMMER: (Mocking LISTER) "No, it's not! Petersen told me." Lister, if you must know, what I did was, I wrote a discourse on power circuits which was simply too *radical*, too *unconventional*, too *mould-breaking* for the examiners to accept.
LISTER: Yeah. You said you were a fish.

Red Dwarf, series one.

[Bria]

oh, I love Red Dwarf!!

"Leeloo: Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, multipass, she knows it's a multipass. Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: We're newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen...
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yes, she knows it's a multipass. Anyway, we're in love."

The Fifth Element

[SamwiseAtHeart]

lol I remember that scene lol

Monk: So do you want her?
Allejandro: Of course I want her
Monk: And you'll take him?
Elana: If I must
*Allejandro and Elana smooch*
Monk: You may now kiss the bride... again....

~The Ledgend of Zorro

[Lady of the Rings]

lol I love Zorro!

Ace: OK all looks good, you know, you never really know until you check things out yourself.
Fulton Greenwall: Well, aren't you going to go investigate?
Ace: ITS DARK IN THERE... I MIGHT FALL INTO A PRECIPICE!
Ouda: Here you go
[hands him a torch]
Ace: Spank you, Helpy Helperton...

~Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls~

[FRODOFAN]

Groucho: I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

-One of the Marx Brothers Films

[Gollum the Great]

Wayne's World (umm the one with WayneStock)
When they are getting the concert file papers from the guy with the freaky eyes
"We'll be sure to cross the "t"s and dot the.*guy gives them mean face*...
...lower...case...'j's"lol

[Mariliam]

MURTOGG: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
JACK: Sorry, I didn't know.
Some sort of to-do up at the fort, eh? You two weren't invited?
MURTOGG: No ... someone has to make sure this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
JACK: This must be some important boat.
MULLROY: Ship.
JACK: Ship.
MURTOGG: Captain Norrington's made it his flagship. He'll use it to hunt down the last dregs of piracy on the Spanish Lake.
MULLROY: Commodore.
MURTOGG: Right. Commodore Norrington.
JACK: That's a fine goal, I'm sure ... But it seems to me a ship like that-- makes this one here just a wee superfluous.
MURTOGG: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough -- but there's no ship that can match the Interceptor for speed.
JACK: That so? I've heard of one, supposed to be fast, nigh uncatchable ... the Black Pearl?
MULLR0Y: There's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
MURTOGG: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
MULLROY: No, it's not.
MURTOGG: Yes it is. I've seen it.
MULLR0Y: You've seen it?
MURTOGG: Yes.
MULLROY: You've seen the Black Pearl?
MURTOGG: Yes.
MULLR0Y: You haven't seen it.
MURTOGG: Yes, I have.
MULLR0Y: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out?
MURTOGG:...No.
MULLROY: No.
MURTOGG: But I've seen a ship with black sails.
MULLR0Y: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails and therefore couldn't possibly be any ship other than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're saying?
MURTOGG:...No.
MULLR0Y: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match -- Hey!
You!
Get away from there! You don't have permission to be aboard there!
JACK: I'm sorry. It's just such a pretty boat. Ship.
MURTOGG: What's your name?
JACK: Smith.
MULLR0Y: What's your business in Port Royal, 'Mr. Smith' ?
MURTOGG: And no lies!
JACK: None? Very well. You've rumbled me. I confess: I intend to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, and go out on the account, do a little honest pirating.
MURTOGG: I said, no lies.
MULLR0Y: I think he's telling the truth.
MURTOGG: He's not telling the truth.
MULLROY: He may be.
MURTOGG: If he were telling the truth he wouldn't have told us.
JACK: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth if he told it to you.
:Pirate:
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

[Aletheia]

From two of the funniest movies ever.....

Zoolander:
Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
______
Derek Zoolander: At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.
***********

Anchorman:

Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Really.
Ron Burgundy: People know me.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm very happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
_____
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
_____
Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
[pause]
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
_____

roflmao roflmao Ok so maybe I am the only one who thinks those movies are halarious.....but I doubt it roflmao ;)

[Iradil]

zoolanders an ace film and ''pirates of the caribbean 2: dead mans chest'' is out july the 6th

nother from zoolander
Mugatu: I present to you the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Would Like To Do Other Things Good
Zoolander: Is this a center for ants?
Mugatu: What?
Zoolander: How can the children read when they cant even fit inside the building? It has to be at least... 3 times bigger than this.
Mugatu: .... Your absoutely right!

[CrazyMonkey 4 Frodo]

I'm allergic to peanut butter. -Rachel
Since when?? -Ray
Birth. -Rachel

~War Of the Worlds(what a smart father)lol

[SamwiseAtHeart]

Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

~Napoleon Dynamite

[Frodo's Pearl]

Susan: "Drop him!!"

Telmarines drop Trumpkin into water

A little while later...

Trumpkin: "DROP HIM?? They were doing just fine drowning me.."

~Prince Caspian

[Elf Girl]

Ben Gates: [about a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence] It's invisible.
Abigail Chase: Oh! Right.
Riley Poole: And that's where we lost the Department of Homeland Security.
—Nicholas Cage, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, in National Treasure

Man in Black: You say you are an Irishman. A prisoner. Why should you be loyal to the British dogs, who want to take you to Lisbon to shoot you?
Patrick Harper: [...] You took the words out of me mouth.
Man in Black: I can help you. Give me the box.
Patrick Harper: Right. Fine. But what do I get?
Man in Black: You will be rich.
Patrick Harper: And if I don't?
Man in Black: You will be dead.
Patrick Harper: Hmm... Well, you're having the best of the argument so far.
—[unknown], Daragh O’Malley, in Sharpe’s Rifles

Alfred Pennyworth: I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice...
Bruce Wayne: Accomplice? I'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.
—Sir Michael Caine, Christian Bale, in The Dark Knight

Crutchy: It's this brain of mine, it's always makin' mistakes... It’s got a mind of its own.
—Marty Belafsky, in Newsies

[SamwiseAtHeart]

Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie: No way.
Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No there's not. Wait...
[Starts singing loud and off-key]
Buddy: I'm singing/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!
Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!
Buddy: Especially when we build toys!
[Back to Jovie]
Buddy: See?

~Elf

[Frodo's Pearl]

Featherstone: "I'll stay here and reconnoiter."
Driver: "Don't get hurt doin' it."
Featherstone: "You go and fetch the bobbies."
Driver: "Yeah, I'll get the police too!"

~Mr. Moto Takes a Vacation

[Leslie Brandybuck]

Walter: I'm going to go inside and watch television.
Garth: Ain't got one.
Walter: NO television???

Secondhand Lions